1 00:00:00,292 --> 00:00:01,251 Previously... 2 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:02,920 on Stargate SG-1... 3 00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:05,422 I'm not just interested in outer space. 4 00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:08,550 I'm from outer space. 5 00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:13,388 Four excellent heroes in an extraordinary new sci-fi series, 6 00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:17,059 starring Nick Marlowe as the wry Colonel Danning. 7 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:20,562 As a matter of fact, it does say "Colonel" on my uniform. 8 00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:22,856 Wormhole Extreme! 9 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,608 It's what I do. 10 00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:27,361 He sold the idea to the studio. 11 00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:30,531 He obviously got the whole thing from his knowledge of the Stargate Program. 12 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:33,825 If the Air Force didn't want it to happen, they wouldn't have let it go this far. 13 00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,579 Come on out. 14 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,875 We are the Furlings. 15 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,670 We thought we'd never get to meet you. 16 00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:53,846 We led them straight here. 17 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:58,225 Sam! 18 00:00:58,267 --> 00:00:59,643 I thought I could make it work. 19 00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:03,063 The thermodynamic loop is feeding back into the planet's core. 20 00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:13,198 Well, that never happened. 21 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,449 Well, you've got to open big, 22 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:17,911 catch people's attention, make them think the whole thing is going to be jam-packed. 23 00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:19,371 I love jam! 24 00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:25,961 Oh, I get it. It's yet another playful twist on words in your "Earth" language. 25 00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:28,630 It makes us look stupid. 26 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,924 You realize it's not actually us. 27 00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:33,760 Okay, okay, it makes the characters look stupid. 28 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:37,014 I mean, do you really think the best way to introduce the heroes of the story 29 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:39,433 is to show them causing a massive catastrophe? 30 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,268 That's... realistic. 31 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:42,477 I don't care. 32 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:43,812 Come on. It would be fun. 33 00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:45,564 You know, you say that about everything. 34 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,733 Come to think of it, why am I doing this? 35 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:50,903 To make sure that the Air Force is being properly represented, 36 00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:56,158 and because General O'Neill has requested you specifically. 37 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,035 Of course he did. 38 00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:02,080 Jackson, how often do we get to give notes on a big Hollywood feature script? 39 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,541 I believe this is intended to be a television movie. 40 00:02:04,583 --> 00:02:07,961 A fictionalized, albeit slightly ridiculous version 41 00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:12,799 of Stargate Command is an excellent cover for the real thing in the event of a security leak. 42 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,009 Plausible deniability. 43 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:16,220 I'm sorry, Sir, did you say "slightly" ridiculous? 44 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,387 You're doing this. 45 00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:18,847 You have no choice. 46 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:23,602 Just give the man five minutes. I'll get you out of this when the time comes. 47 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:30,359 I've been looking through this, and there doesn't seem to be any mention of... 48 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,611 a sexy female alien... 49 00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,238 Anywhere. 50 00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:36,323 I'm not even in this! 51 00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:38,200 You know, the really unbelievable part 52 00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:41,787 is that anyone would consider spending millions of dollars on this thing. 53 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:45,374 I mean, seriously, all these writers, and they couldn't come up with anything better? 54 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:50,337 I don't know, I've been watching a lot of television lately, and apart from one glaring omission, 55 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,922 it doesn't seem to be that bad. 56 00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:54,800 Maybe... we can make it better. 57 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,260 No, I'm with Sam on this one. I mean, who... 58 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,804 who makes a movie out of a series that only lasted three episodes? 59 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,640 It allegedly performed well on DVD. 60 00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:05,185 No, I'm not using any shots from the series. 61 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:08,146 It's a movie, not a clip show. 62 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,065 The budget is the budget. 63 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:13,610 They are a bunch of pencil-pushing, bean-counting idiots. 64 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,946 You tell them if they don't like it, 65 00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:18,574 I'm going to take it somewhere else. 66 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,370 You know not to say that last part, right? 67 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:28,250 Yeah, movie, not clip show, is fine. 68 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,919 Yeah, I've got to go. 69 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:32,629 Yeah. 70 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,801 Cell coverage is just terrible in here. 71 00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:40,179 How's it going? You done? 72 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:45,309 Well, it... 73 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:49,021 certainly seems to be packed full of jam. 74 00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:51,899 I knew I should have given you my first draft. 75 00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:54,985 The producer brought in the other writers. 76 00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:56,403 I thought you were the producer. 77 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,779 Yeah, the real one. 78 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,866 Look, just be honest. 79 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,702 I trust you guys. That's why I'm here. 80 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,954 Just tell me what you think. 81 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:12,377 Come on, you must have some ideas. 82 00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:17,216 Don't be afraid. Just pitch them out. We call it "spinning"! 83 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,760 Don't worry. No one's going to judge you. 84 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,138 Okay, for starters, 85 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:26,141 I think you need a strong opening title sequence. 86 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:27,518 Are you serious? 87 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,061 No one does that anymore. 88 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,313 You just throw up the title and get on with it. 89 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:35,275 Transcript by Tara Pathirana / sadgeezer.com Subtitles by SG-66 - www.seriestele.net 90 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,821 Season 10 200th Episode 91 00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:03,178 Walter! Dial 447! 92 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:07,349 The only way to stop this is to get the device back to the planet. 93 00:05:22,698 --> 00:05:25,993 Look, no offense, but... 94 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,954 Zombies have been done to death. 95 00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:31,957 No... pun intended. 96 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:35,043 Besides, this is science-fiction, not horror. 97 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:38,714 Did I mention the Tel'Chak device? 'Cause that's what turned them into zombies. 98 00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,007 Oh, sorry. 99 00:05:40,299 --> 00:05:41,633 Go for Marty. 100 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:45,053 Oh, hey, Charlie. What's up? 101 00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:46,930 It's the studio. 102 00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,183 What kind of problem? 103 00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:54,271 Just out of curiosity, what was the rest of the team doing while your character was fighting the zombies? 104 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,236 Son of a bitch! 105 00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:03,488 Studio executives...? 106 00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,741 What? Oh, no, Charlie... 107 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,075 He's a great guy. 108 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,744 He's the only one I trust. 109 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:11,205 So, what's the problem, then? 110 00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:12,915 Our lead backed out. 111 00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:16,126 How am I supposed to tell a story without my lead character? 112 00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:19,087 Easy. You just bring in a character to replace him. 113 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:24,635 What? 114 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:26,678 You guys have to help me. 115 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:30,599 I mean, how can I keep the main character in the story 116 00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:34,353 without actually having the actor who plays him? 117 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:38,148 Well, you could have the other characters refer to him all the time, 118 00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:40,567 maybe get him on the phone once in a while. 119 00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:44,780 Oh, yeah, right. I mean something cool, like... 120 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:49,243 Face-switching or... body-swapping? 121 00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,328 As if anyone would believe that. 122 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:56,583 Come on, you guys must have some real-life experiences I can draw on. 123 00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:00,712 Oh, well, there was that time that Colonel O'Neill was invisible. 124 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,632 So, essentially what I think happened 125 00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:08,053 is that you were bombarded by the particle field being emanated by the cloaking generator. 126 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:12,349 See, you were in the engine room standing right next to it when the device was turned on. 127 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:16,395 That would account for the minor traces of radiation we've been picking up from you. But... 128 00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:17,479 the good news is 129 00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,940 I think I've found a way to reverse the process. 130 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:22,985 We have to go back to the mothership and get the cloaking generator. 131 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:24,403 Sam, who are you talking to? 132 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:28,073 Oh, Colonel O'Neill. I was just explaining to him how we're going to make him visible again. 133 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,241 No, you're not. 134 00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:31,827 Jack's in... 135 00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:33,579 Hammond's office. 136 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,455 I can't believe he did that to me again. 137 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:36,832 Yeah. You know, getting that 138 00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:41,336 cloaking generator off that mothership that's gonna be the least of our problems. Now, getting Jack to help... 139 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,172 that's going to be the hard part. 140 00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,632 - Oh, don't tell me... - Oh, yes. 141 00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:47,634 He likes being invisible. 142 00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:01,064 And so, by translating this tablet, 143 00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:06,236 we should be able to determine the most important thing in the universe. 144 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:17,080 Does everyone just want to poke around, 145 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:18,999 see if you can find him? 146 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,043 Sir... 147 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:22,794 are you there? 148 00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:27,591 Nope. 149 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,595 You cannot remain this way, O'Neill. 150 00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:32,638 Why not? 151 00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:35,807 It gives us an advantage over the Goa'uld. 152 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:39,770 I can sneak around all I want totally undetected. 153 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:41,063 I... 154 00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,941 give us the element of surprise. 155 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,609 The bottom line is 156 00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:48,028 I can do more for this planet, 157 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:52,324 invisible than I ever could as my own sweet salient self. 158 00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:58,413 I assume I am staring at you stoically. 159 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,709 - Not buying it...? - No. 160 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:05,295 You are most transparent, O'Neill. 161 00:09:06,672 --> 00:09:08,715 Oh, I get it. 162 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:10,384 Good one. 163 00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:12,261 I can see right through you. 164 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,096 Don't push it. 165 00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:40,747 Hello? 166 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,207 Hand signals. 167 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:44,501 I'm waving you over. 168 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:51,341 Okay, I've made the necessary adjustments. All I have to do now is initiate the sequence. 169 00:09:52,176 --> 00:09:53,135 Okay. 170 00:09:54,011 --> 00:09:54,970 Let's do it. 171 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,145 Oh, yeah. 172 00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:04,813 This is better. 173 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:08,734 It might feel like kind of a cheat. 174 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:13,197 Maybe it's best just not to mention the guy at all. 175 00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:18,619 Yeah... besides, invisibility can be very powerful. 176 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,163 You might not want to open that can of worms. 177 00:10:21,205 --> 00:10:24,166 You don't want your heroes to become too powerful. 178 00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:27,419 Well, you could always invent some negative side-effects. 179 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:31,256 That's how we talked Colonel O'Neill into becoming visible again. 180 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:34,676 Okay, that's it. SG-1, you are cleared to leave. 181 00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:35,511 Thank you. 182 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,804 They can't leave! They haven't finished reading my script! 183 00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,641 That's funny, I thought it said "General" on my uniform. 184 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,768 - We owe you one, Sir. - You mean another one. 185 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,979 What are you talking about? I thought you said it was gonna be fun. 186 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,190 Not after his zombie idea got shot down. 187 00:10:48,232 --> 00:10:50,526 So, where are you guys all off to? 188 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:53,070 Some place pretty important...? 189 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,364 It's just a recon mission, isn't it? 190 00:10:55,405 --> 00:11:00,619 Just a recon mission? This is no simple recon mission. This is no less than my 200th trip through the Gate. 191 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:01,578 Really? 192 00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,121 - You're counting? - You bet. 193 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:06,291 I have been reflecting while changing into our gear... 194 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:09,503 I believe this is far from your 200th mission, Colonel Mitchell. 195 00:11:09,545 --> 00:11:13,882 I didn't say 200th mission. I said 200th trip through the Gate. That's counting... 196 00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:17,761 off-world Gates, back and forth, pretty much any time I crossed the event horizon. 197 00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:21,056 Yeah... this is gonna be huge... 198 00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:23,141 the big 2-0-0. 199 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,322 Fix it. 200 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,115 Quickly. 201 00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:39,074 I'm on it. 202 00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:41,076 Indeed. 203 00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:50,794 We've got to go! We've got 10 seconds before the time dilation field is activated. 204 00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:53,630 If we don't make it through the Gate, we'll be stuck here forever! 205 00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:00,304 Okay, this could be a problem. 206 00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,056 That was close...? 207 00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:04,308 Oh yeah. 208 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:05,767 Are you serious? 209 00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:06,643 What? 210 00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,187 How did we escape? 211 00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:09,563 They. 212 00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:12,566 Fine, they. They, they, they. How did they escape? 213 00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:14,860 Isn't it obvious? 214 00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,446 Even if the valley wasn't filled with Jaffa, 215 00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,407 we could never have made it to the Gate and dialed out in under... 216 00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:21,742 10 seconds. 217 00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:22,201 Good. 218 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,119 See, that's why we're here. 219 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,162 So, what do you think? 220 00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:26,413 30 seconds? 221 00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,082 May... maybe not such a round number. 222 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,083 How about... 223 00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:31,710 Thirty eight? 224 00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:36,131 What difference does it make? I mean, it's not like you're gonna have an actual ticking clock on the screen. 225 00:12:36,215 --> 00:12:37,674 That's brilliant! 226 00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,134 That's ridiculous. 227 00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:40,052 Trust me. 228 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:43,096 Jeopardy plus ticking clock is box office. 229 00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,849 It's the e = mc2 of the entertainment world. 230 00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,392 Ask any executive. 231 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,979 Except I think you've replaced jeopardy with certain death. 232 00:12:51,063 --> 00:12:51,855 Oh, come on, 233 00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:55,484 you guys have escaped situations more dire than this before. 234 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:56,985 He has a point. 235 00:12:57,027 --> 00:13:00,155 - So show the actual escape. - Oh, no, no, no. 236 00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:04,326 You can't give away too much too early. It'll step on the ending. 237 00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:06,787 Maybe if my character doesn't say, 238 00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,164 "this is a problem." He could say something like, 239 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:12,459 - "this should be easy." - How many times do I have to tell you? 240 00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:13,961 It's not you. 241 00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:15,420 Colonel Danning... 242 00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:17,422 is based on Colonel O'Neill. 243 00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:23,720 Please tell me you have the Gate working again. 244 00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:26,306 We're running another diagnostic, but right now, we're stumped. 245 00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:30,435 The power's getting through to the capacitors, but for some reason, the charge isn't holding. 246 00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:33,605 That's causing the control crystal to send feedback into the interface 247 00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:36,859 and reset the programming code of the base computer's dialing protocol. 248 00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:39,903 That was awesome. 249 00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,196 Say that again. 250 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:43,073 No. 251 00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:49,246 Everybody, take five. I've got to get that down before I forget it. 252 00:13:49,288 --> 00:13:51,832 The power getting to the flux capacitor, but 253 00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:56,587 feedback is not feeding back into the feedback face. This is gold! 254 00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:57,254 Hey. 255 00:13:58,714 --> 00:14:00,174 Forget about the techno-talk. 256 00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:01,925 No one's really interested in it. 257 00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:05,387 - You're an alien, right? - Exactly, 258 00:14:05,429 --> 00:14:07,181 and I know just what this movie needs. 259 00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:11,727 So how would you know what sci-fi fans from Earth would be interested in? 260 00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:13,896 Aren't you also an alien? 261 00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:16,690 Yeah, but I've been here quite a while. 262 00:14:16,732 --> 00:14:17,691 Right. Look, 263 00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:20,485 I think I know a good story when I hear one. 264 00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,447 Don't you want this movie to appeal to a broad range of people? 265 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,698 From Earth. 266 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:30,913 I have all kinds of fabulous adventures, none of which have been classified by the Air Force. 267 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,166 Okay, shoot. Give me your best one. 268 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:34,791 Right. 269 00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:37,544 I was in a stolen cargo ship on my way home 270 00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:42,299 when a solar flare from a nearby star wreaked havoc with my navigation system, and I was forced 271 00:14:42,341 --> 00:14:44,176 to crash-land on the nearest planet. 272 00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:45,802 In a bizarre twist of fate, 273 00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:49,223 I crashed right on top of the Goa'uld who ruled that planet, 274 00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:53,310 which was fortunate because my ship was too badly damaged to repair, and I needed help. 275 00:14:54,228 --> 00:14:56,563 The local villagers were very grateful. 276 00:14:57,689 --> 00:15:03,028 They introduced me to a lovely fair-haired Tok'ra who had been hiding out on the planet. 277 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:07,866 She told me the legend of a powerful ascended being who supposedly lived in some distant, 278 00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:11,662 - far-off mountains through a treacherous forest. - Look, I don't have all day. 279 00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:13,330 - Cut to the chase. - All right, 280 00:15:13,372 --> 00:15:18,043 I met up with a number of my friends along the way, and after a dangerous and eventful journey, 281 00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:21,547 we finally come face to face with the ascended being. 282 00:15:21,797 --> 00:15:24,007 What can I do for you? 283 00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:27,219 Well, at first I thought I just wanted to go home but 284 00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:30,138 now I've decided I'd quite like to be a part of something... 285 00:15:30,848 --> 00:15:34,101 a regular part, if you catch my drift. 286 00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:38,647 Oh, and... these guys have their own issues. Boys? 287 00:15:49,408 --> 00:15:51,827 That's the Wizard of Oz. 288 00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:55,581 You've seen that one? 289 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:56,999 Yeah. 290 00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:59,168 Oh, that's my phone. 291 00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,711 Martin Lloyd. 292 00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,212 I didn't hear it ring. 293 00:16:02,254 --> 00:16:04,006 It's on... vibrate. 294 00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,591 Yes, go ahead. 295 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,342 I can sing. 296 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,055 So how's it going? 297 00:16:12,264 --> 00:16:13,557 Not well. 298 00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:15,684 Samantha, 200 is waiting. 299 00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:19,354 Right now, I'm just hoping we haven't done something to permanently damage the Gate. 300 00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:23,650 How can something work perfectly fine for 10 years, then all of a sudden it doesn't work anymore? 301 00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,068 I don't know. 302 00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,695 Okay, try it now. 303 00:16:29,615 --> 00:16:32,701 We're getting some strange power readings here, Colonel. 304 00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:34,369 Shut it down. 305 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,164 It's not responding. 306 00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:40,167 The Gate's drawing massive amounts of energy into its capacitors. 307 00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,294 Close the blast door and the iris. 308 00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:52,721 I can't shut it down. 309 00:16:53,222 --> 00:16:55,516 Siler, manually cut the power! 310 00:17:06,485 --> 00:17:09,613 Why does this always happen to me? 311 00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:12,366 Sir, we have to evacuate the base! 312 00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:16,745 This is General Landry. I'm declaring a code red emergency. 313 00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:19,456 All personnel, evacuate the base immediately. 314 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:22,709 Sir, the capacitors are overloading. We have to get out of here now. 315 00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:23,585 Hurry. 316 00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:34,596 And that is the end of act two. 317 00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:39,017 The mountain blows up? 318 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,061 No possible hope for survival. 319 00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:41,895 Cool...? 320 00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:44,648 I just wrote it, based on what's going on with the Gate. 321 00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:47,442 I love it when art imitates life. 322 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,527 Hang on... 323 00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:50,863 we're alive in the next scene. 324 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:53,198 Oh, I just haven't fixed that part yet. 325 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:57,953 I'm thinking I can back-sell it and say you were beamed out at the last second. 326 00:17:57,995 --> 00:17:59,079 Beamed out? 327 00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,330 Sure. Why not? 328 00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:02,207 Is that not too convenient? 329 00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:03,959 Not if you hang a lantern on it. 330 00:18:04,001 --> 00:18:04,793 What's that? 331 00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:06,211 It's a writer's term. 332 00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:10,174 Another character points out how convenient it is. 333 00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:12,092 Dr. Levant can say, 334 00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:14,553 "Wow, that was great timing." 335 00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:20,767 That way, the audience knows I intended for it to be convenient, and we move on. 336 00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:22,394 Really. 337 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,229 Okay, where were we? 338 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:25,898 Scene 24. 339 00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:26,815 Oh, great, 340 00:18:26,857 --> 00:18:28,609 one of my favorite scenes. 341 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,027 Go ahead. 342 00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:35,741 Interior, bridge. 343 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,452 The crew mans their stations... 344 00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:40,954 I'm picking up a strange energy anomaly, Colonel. 345 00:18:40,996 --> 00:18:43,040 It appears the singularity is about to explode. 346 00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,333 Weapons are at maximum. 347 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,418 Dammit, Captain! Solar flare. 348 00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:48,378 We've got a shock wave heading straight for us. 349 00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:51,256 Can you reverse the... polarity? 350 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,674 I'll do my best. 351 00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:54,801 Engine room... 352 00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:56,512 warp speed! 353 00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:57,846 Take us out of here... 354 00:18:57,888 --> 00:18:59,014 now. 355 00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:04,436 I'm giving it all I've got, Captain, but you're expecting a bloody miracle. 356 00:19:04,478 --> 00:19:05,395 Hang on, hang on. 357 00:19:05,437 --> 00:19:06,188 What? 358 00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:07,397 Okay, one... 359 00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:09,650 that's Star Trek. And two... 360 00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,109 it's ridiculous. 361 00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,528 What's wrong with it? 362 00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:15,155 "The singularity is about to explode?" 363 00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:16,240 Yes. 364 00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:18,367 Everything about that statement is wrong. 365 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:21,703 How exactly is having weapons at maximum going to help the situation? 366 00:19:21,745 --> 00:19:24,081 The audience isn't gonna know the difference. 367 00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:27,543 They love "weapons at maximum." 368 00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:31,755 Never underestimate your audience. They're generally sensitive, intelligent people 369 00:19:31,797 --> 00:19:34,716 who respond positively to quality entertainment. 370 00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:38,679 I do not understand why everything in this script must inevitably explode. 371 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:45,269 Look, you guys may all know how things really work out there in the galaxy, but I know the film business. 372 00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:48,188 Explosions make great trailers. 373 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,731 Simple fact. 374 00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:51,149 More explosions, 375 00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:52,401 better trailer. 376 00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:53,485 Better trailer, 377 00:19:53,527 --> 00:19:55,654 more viewers. 378 00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:01,410 Yeah, go for Marty. 379 00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,996 Oh, hey, Nora. 380 00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:05,581 What? 381 00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:08,000 That's ridiculous. 382 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,169 Tell them to stop panicking. 383 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,753 We're gonna sign him. 384 00:20:11,795 --> 00:20:12,838 Don't worry. 385 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,048 I already put in a call in to his manager. 386 00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:17,134 We'll get back to you. 387 00:20:17,301 --> 00:20:18,886 Yeah. Bye. 388 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,306 So... trouble with Nora. 389 00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:23,974 No. Nora... she's great. 390 00:20:24,016 --> 00:20:26,894 But since Nick Marlowe is holding out, 391 00:20:26,977 --> 00:20:31,148 one of the new junior executives at the network has suggested 392 00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:35,819 we re-cast the whole movie with younger, edgier versions of the team. 393 00:20:35,861 --> 00:20:37,696 Can you imagine that? 394 00:20:48,999 --> 00:20:50,918 Yo, dawg, what'd you do that for? 395 00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:53,378 Dude, that hot chick was so totally a Goa'uld! 396 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:55,255 Duh. I was still gonna tap that. 397 00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:57,049 You don't appreciate me, do you? 398 00:20:57,299 --> 00:21:00,010 I think you're so totally awesome. 399 00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:04,765 That's what I'm talkin' about. 400 00:21:07,184 --> 00:21:10,854 Yo, wonderbread, you got that address figured out yet? 401 00:21:12,064 --> 00:21:13,023 Chill, T. 402 00:21:13,065 --> 00:21:16,109 I'm, like, translating as fast as I can. 403 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:19,905 I'm so sick of being treated like some sort of object to be worshiped. 404 00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:22,032 I'm a real person with real feelings. 405 00:21:22,074 --> 00:21:23,033 You know, 406 00:21:24,576 --> 00:21:26,995 I don't think Mitchell likes me anymore. 407 00:21:27,079 --> 00:21:28,622 I'm pregnant. 408 00:21:30,958 --> 00:21:31,875 No. 409 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:33,377 Nope. 410 00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:37,714 I need a latte. 411 00:21:39,883 --> 00:21:40,634 How about this one? 412 00:21:40,676 --> 00:21:44,388 We were in a cloaked cargo ship on a simple, three-hour reconnaissance mission... 413 00:21:44,429 --> 00:21:46,265 Gilligan's island, right? 414 00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:48,851 You got that from "three-hour reconnaissance mission"? 415 00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:49,977 Piece of advice... 416 00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:51,520 if you're gonna rip something off, 417 00:21:51,562 --> 00:21:53,814 think of something a little more obscure. 418 00:21:53,856 --> 00:21:55,023 Oh, okay. 419 00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:56,900 Call me fahrbot, 420 00:21:57,109 --> 00:21:59,319 but they gonna have our mivonks on a platter if we don't... 421 00:21:59,736 --> 00:22:01,321 starburst the draz out of here. 422 00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:03,615 The cluster's been damaged, we're not going anywhere. 423 00:22:05,659 --> 00:22:07,411 Oh, dren. 424 00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:08,996 Hezmana! 425 00:22:10,998 --> 00:22:12,291 Frell! 426 00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:15,085 Son of a hazmot! 427 00:22:15,919 --> 00:22:16,962 Yotz! 428 00:22:19,089 --> 00:22:20,883 Okay, you got me. 429 00:22:20,924 --> 00:22:23,594 I have no idea what that is. 430 00:22:24,136 --> 00:22:27,097 Oh, for crying out loud, what now? 431 00:22:28,182 --> 00:22:30,517 Oh, give me a break! 432 00:22:32,436 --> 00:22:35,397 I just a got a text message from the studio. 433 00:22:35,439 --> 00:22:38,901 The foreign distributor went bankrupt. They're slashing my budget. 434 00:22:39,026 --> 00:22:40,527 In a text message? 435 00:22:40,569 --> 00:22:43,447 This totally screws up the end of act three. 436 00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:45,365 What happens at the end of act three? 437 00:22:45,449 --> 00:22:47,367 With these cuts, not much. 438 00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:49,077 Act three just ends. 439 00:22:51,496 --> 00:22:52,915 What's so bad about this? 440 00:22:52,956 --> 00:22:54,875 Any idea when we'll be able to go? 441 00:22:54,917 --> 00:22:56,168 Sorry. 442 00:22:56,210 --> 00:22:58,921 We're trying a full reset of the system, Sir. 443 00:23:03,675 --> 00:23:05,219 If you want this to be more accurate, 444 00:23:05,260 --> 00:23:06,970 why don't you just give him your mission files? 445 00:23:07,012 --> 00:23:08,096 They're classified. 446 00:23:08,138 --> 00:23:11,683 So? Didn't you say that no one on your planet would believe this was all real anyway? 447 00:23:11,725 --> 00:23:14,394 Even still, do you know how many mission files there are? 448 00:23:14,478 --> 00:23:16,813 1,263, 449 00:23:17,272 --> 00:23:19,316 hopefully 64 by the end of the day. 450 00:23:19,358 --> 00:23:22,236 Actually, it's 1,264 already. 451 00:23:22,277 --> 00:23:25,739 No, it's 63, pretty sure. I've read all the files recently. 452 00:23:25,781 --> 00:23:28,784 Actually, you haven't read 30185. 453 00:23:29,535 --> 00:23:31,703 30185? 454 00:23:32,663 --> 00:23:33,580 What's that? 455 00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:35,582 We can't tell you. 456 00:23:36,083 --> 00:23:38,210 What do you mean you can't tell me? 457 00:23:38,252 --> 00:23:40,671 I have the highest security clearance known to mankind. What... 458 00:23:40,712 --> 00:23:43,257 what is 30185? 459 00:23:43,340 --> 00:23:45,342 We were sworn to secrecy. 460 00:23:46,802 --> 00:23:50,097 Well, why even mention it to me if you're not going to tell me what it is? 461 00:23:50,764 --> 00:23:51,932 Sorry. 462 00:23:52,057 --> 00:23:54,351 - Can you tell me? - Oh, yeah, we can tell you. 463 00:23:54,685 --> 00:23:58,522 It has to do with the time that the Gate sent us back to 1969. 464 00:23:58,814 --> 00:24:01,859 Well, that can't have anything to do with me. I wasn't born till a year later. 465 00:24:01,900 --> 00:24:05,070 Actually, it was nine months before he was born. 466 00:24:05,153 --> 00:24:06,196 What? 467 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:08,740 You have to remember it was the '60s. 468 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,243 Come on... 469 00:24:11,660 --> 00:24:15,497 you have to have known that Jack's always taken an interest in your life. 470 00:24:15,747 --> 00:24:16,665 Jack? 471 00:24:16,832 --> 00:24:18,041 O'Neill? 472 00:24:18,959 --> 00:24:20,169 Indeed. 473 00:24:21,128 --> 00:24:25,465 Do you remember when you were chosen for the 302 program even though you didn't think you should get in? 474 00:24:25,549 --> 00:24:27,718 How about when you were chosen for SG-1? 475 00:24:28,635 --> 00:24:29,803 Wait, are you saying that... 476 00:24:29,887 --> 00:24:31,847 - Jack O'Neill is... - My daddy? 477 00:24:31,972 --> 00:24:34,892 All starting to make sense now, isn't it? 478 00:24:37,936 --> 00:24:40,272 Oh, I'm being punk'd, aren't I? 479 00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:43,483 We honestly can't tell you about 30185. 480 00:24:44,776 --> 00:24:46,069 I can't believe it! 481 00:24:46,278 --> 00:24:50,574 The whole cast heard Marlowe is holding out for more money, and now they're all joining in. 482 00:24:51,366 --> 00:24:53,410 Where do they think it comes from? 483 00:24:55,329 --> 00:24:58,165 How am I supposed to do a movie without any actors? 484 00:24:58,248 --> 00:24:59,082 Carter... 485 00:24:59,249 --> 00:25:04,254 correct me if I'm wrong on this,but is it not a fact of parallel dimension physics that each of us exists 486 00:25:04,296 --> 00:25:07,633 somewhere in some universe in whatever way, shape, or form we can imagine? 487 00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:10,844 Any way, shape, or form we can imagine. We've seen it for ourselves. 488 00:25:11,094 --> 00:25:12,387 There you go. 489 00:25:13,555 --> 00:25:15,057 Use your imagination. 490 00:25:25,108 --> 00:25:26,485 All right, people. 491 00:25:26,527 --> 00:25:33,367 We created this multi-billion dollar facility under cheyenne mountain so that we can use this thing... 492 00:25:34,493 --> 00:25:36,119 anyone know how? 493 00:25:40,749 --> 00:25:43,752 Sir, we thought you knew. 494 00:25:44,294 --> 00:25:45,712 I do know this... 495 00:25:45,963 --> 00:25:48,048 we need to put together a team, 496 00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:53,470 starting with the most beautiful, battle-ready scientific genius I know... 497 00:25:53,804 --> 00:25:57,724 - Captain Doctor Samantha Carter. - Reporting for duty, Sir. 498 00:25:57,766 --> 00:25:59,726 What can you tell us, Captain? 499 00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:06,483 Well, at first glance, I suspect the device creates a stable wormhole between superconducting rings 500 00:26:06,525 --> 00:26:10,737 that have been placed in fixed positions elsewhere... ... converts matter into energy at the event horizon... 501 00:26:10,779 --> 00:26:13,031 once the initial vortex has subsided, of course... 502 00:26:13,073 --> 00:26:15,158 and just because my sex organs are on the inside 503 00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,244 instead of the outside doesn't mean that I can't handle... 504 00:26:17,286 --> 00:26:20,247 provided, of course, that sufficient energy has been channeled to the device 505 00:26:20,289 --> 00:26:22,624 and that the correct coordinates have been calculated. 506 00:26:24,376 --> 00:26:26,336 Okay, get to it. 507 00:26:27,504 --> 00:26:32,885 Next, we need a bookworm adventurer who can say "brains" and "guts" in 27 languages... 508 00:26:32,926 --> 00:26:34,511 Dr. Daniel Jackson. 509 00:26:34,553 --> 00:26:37,014 Why have I been brought here? This is not... 510 00:26:39,266 --> 00:26:40,809 What is that? 511 00:26:40,851 --> 00:26:42,686 The reason you're here, Doctor. 512 00:26:42,728 --> 00:26:44,188 This big ring... 513 00:26:44,229 --> 00:26:47,608 was discovered in the sands of Egypt near giza. 514 00:26:48,984 --> 00:26:50,277 Then I was right. 515 00:26:50,861 --> 00:26:57,117 The pyramids really were landing sites for interplanetary starships that enslaved primitive human populations by posing as their gods. 516 00:26:57,826 --> 00:26:58,744 Well... 517 00:26:58,785 --> 00:27:00,954 we found the ring in the sand. 518 00:27:01,205 --> 00:27:03,290 These symbols, they look familiar. 519 00:27:03,874 --> 00:27:06,043 They're like constellations. Don't you see? 520 00:27:06,418 --> 00:27:07,419 Here. 521 00:27:09,963 --> 00:27:13,467 If each symbol represents a specific point in space, 522 00:27:13,509 --> 00:27:17,095 then six of them would create a sort of box. 523 00:27:17,137 --> 00:27:18,931 The intersection point between those six points 524 00:27:18,972 --> 00:27:20,933 would indicate a destination. 525 00:27:20,974 --> 00:27:22,976 Maybe, just maybe, 526 00:27:23,018 --> 00:27:26,188 the seventh marks the starting point. 527 00:27:26,230 --> 00:27:28,732 Is there a monitor that shows these symbols in detail? 528 00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:30,526 Over here, Dr. Jackson. 529 00:27:37,950 --> 00:27:38,951 Wait. 530 00:27:39,243 --> 00:27:40,911 This one seems different. 531 00:27:41,495 --> 00:27:43,080 You found the ring in egypt... 532 00:27:43,121 --> 00:27:44,831 the pyramid represents Earth. 533 00:27:44,873 --> 00:27:47,000 This symbol has to be the point of origin. 534 00:27:47,084 --> 00:27:49,545 It was under our noses the whole time. 535 00:27:50,087 --> 00:27:52,047 I feel so stupid. 536 00:27:52,589 --> 00:27:54,842 And now what this team needs is a leader, 537 00:27:54,883 --> 00:27:58,095 someone who'll laugh in the face of his enemy, 538 00:27:58,136 --> 00:28:00,639 even when it's inappropriate. 539 00:28:01,265 --> 00:28:02,891 Colonel Jack O'Neill. 540 00:28:03,392 --> 00:28:05,352 I thought I told you I retired. 541 00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:09,314 I thought you said you were tired. 542 00:28:11,024 --> 00:28:13,944 Well, as a matter of fact, I am a little tired. 543 00:28:13,986 --> 00:28:16,029 There's no time for that now. 544 00:28:16,071 --> 00:28:18,282 You have a mission to lead. 545 00:28:18,448 --> 00:28:19,616 Right! 546 00:28:21,660 --> 00:28:22,578 Sergeant? 547 00:28:22,619 --> 00:28:24,079 Make it spin. 548 00:28:24,329 --> 00:28:25,539 Spin? 549 00:28:26,707 --> 00:28:28,250 Sir, it doesn't spin. 550 00:28:28,417 --> 00:28:29,418 What? 551 00:28:29,710 --> 00:28:31,837 It has to spin. It's round. 552 00:28:32,087 --> 00:28:34,882 Spinning is so much cooler than not spinning. 553 00:28:35,007 --> 00:28:36,425 I'm the General. 554 00:28:36,466 --> 00:28:37,968 I want it to spin. 555 00:28:38,010 --> 00:28:39,011 Now! 556 00:28:39,052 --> 00:28:40,387 Yes, Sir. 557 00:28:44,141 --> 00:28:45,934 Hey, look at that. 558 00:28:50,647 --> 00:28:52,774 Chevron one is lit up. 559 00:28:52,816 --> 00:28:54,818 I wonder what we're going to find on the other side. 560 00:28:54,860 --> 00:28:56,737 Whatever it is, I'll bet it's amazing. 561 00:28:56,778 --> 00:28:58,030 Well, don't get too excited. 562 00:28:58,071 --> 00:28:59,865 It's just a simple recon. 563 00:28:59,907 --> 00:29:02,409 Aren't you the least bit curious about what's out there? 564 00:29:02,451 --> 00:29:04,953 Well, I'm just hoping we find some new meat for the team, 565 00:29:04,995 --> 00:29:08,248 preferably something bald, 566 00:29:08,457 --> 00:29:09,958 mysterious... 567 00:29:10,250 --> 00:29:12,461 you know the warrior type with lots of, 568 00:29:12,503 --> 00:29:14,379 you know, muscles... 569 00:29:14,421 --> 00:29:18,842 Sir, the odds against any alien lifeforms we encounter looking remotely human are 570 00:29:19,051 --> 00:29:20,385 astronomical. 571 00:29:20,427 --> 00:29:21,595 Yeah, well... 572 00:29:22,971 --> 00:29:24,181 we'll see. 573 00:29:27,351 --> 00:29:28,685 Chevron seven... 574 00:29:28,727 --> 00:29:30,479 also lit up. 575 00:29:38,028 --> 00:29:38,737 Holy... 576 00:29:38,779 --> 00:29:41,365 Colonel O'Neill, you have a go. 577 00:29:41,406 --> 00:29:42,741 Godspeed. 578 00:29:42,950 --> 00:29:44,785 Easy for him to say. 579 00:29:53,710 --> 00:29:55,212 Okay, 580 00:29:56,046 --> 00:29:58,715 we're all going to do this together on three, right? 581 00:29:59,258 --> 00:30:00,384 Okay? 582 00:30:00,717 --> 00:30:01,844 Okay. 583 00:30:02,511 --> 00:30:03,595 One... 584 00:30:04,805 --> 00:30:05,389 two... 585 00:30:05,430 --> 00:30:06,431 three! 586 00:30:14,356 --> 00:30:16,608 Dear god in heaven. 587 00:30:18,569 --> 00:30:21,697 I feel so stupid. 588 00:30:34,543 --> 00:30:37,254 Yeah, that'll work. 589 00:30:37,296 --> 00:30:39,381 A whole movie made with puppets. 590 00:30:39,423 --> 00:30:42,217 - Hey, I'm just saying... - Maybe we can have puppet O'Neill 591 00:30:42,259 --> 00:30:44,136 jump over a puppet shark 592 00:30:44,178 --> 00:30:46,430 on a one-third scale motorcycle. 593 00:30:47,556 --> 00:30:48,682 I don't get it. 594 00:30:48,724 --> 00:30:51,185 Look, you don't know the business like I do. 595 00:30:51,226 --> 00:30:53,103 I don't have any money, 596 00:30:53,145 --> 00:30:57,441 so I have to give the actors something else. 597 00:30:57,566 --> 00:30:58,734 Bigger trailers? 598 00:30:58,775 --> 00:31:00,485 I can't afford that either. 599 00:31:00,527 --> 00:31:02,070 No, I have to give them something 600 00:31:02,112 --> 00:31:06,116 that costs me nothing but no actor can refuse. 601 00:31:06,158 --> 00:31:07,367 And what's that? 602 00:31:07,409 --> 00:31:09,703 A good ego stroking. 603 00:31:09,745 --> 00:31:11,038 I have to make them think 604 00:31:11,079 --> 00:31:13,457 that I re-wrote the script just for them. 605 00:31:13,498 --> 00:31:17,085 In this draft, there has to be something that makes them want to do this movie 606 00:31:17,127 --> 00:31:18,712 even if it's for scale. 607 00:31:18,754 --> 00:31:19,630 You know, 608 00:31:19,671 --> 00:31:21,757 we've been trying here. 609 00:31:22,174 --> 00:31:23,592 You're not listening. 610 00:31:23,634 --> 00:31:26,094 I'm talking about a twist, 611 00:31:26,136 --> 00:31:27,888 something nobody's expecting. 612 00:31:27,930 --> 00:31:30,015 You mean something like this? 613 00:31:38,732 --> 00:31:40,943 I don't think anyone will see that coming. 614 00:31:40,984 --> 00:31:42,402 No, but there'll be spoilers. 615 00:31:42,444 --> 00:31:43,403 Are you kidding? 616 00:31:43,445 --> 00:31:45,197 It'll be in the commercial. 617 00:31:48,492 --> 00:31:50,494 When it comes to fighting crime, 618 00:31:50,536 --> 00:31:53,247 there's only one man keepin' the streets safe... 619 00:31:53,288 --> 00:31:55,082 while keepin' it real. 620 00:31:59,294 --> 00:32:00,671 Indeed. 621 00:32:00,712 --> 00:32:02,089 Teal'c P.I. 622 00:32:02,214 --> 00:32:03,757 Coming this fall. 623 00:32:04,758 --> 00:32:06,009 I love it. 624 00:32:08,136 --> 00:32:10,514 I'm just not sure if the network... 625 00:32:10,556 --> 00:32:13,100 but I'll pitch it to them next week and... 626 00:32:13,141 --> 00:32:15,894 and we'll see what they think... 627 00:32:16,728 --> 00:32:19,106 Oh, I have to get that. 628 00:32:19,147 --> 00:32:21,108 We'll talk later. 629 00:32:21,358 --> 00:32:22,651 You got Marty. 630 00:32:22,693 --> 00:32:24,528 So what brings you this way, Sir? 631 00:32:25,779 --> 00:32:29,324 What, a guy can't just stop by from Malibu to say, hi? 632 00:32:29,366 --> 00:32:30,492 Malibu? 633 00:32:30,534 --> 00:32:31,410 Sure. 634 00:32:32,119 --> 00:32:33,912 I was there on business. 635 00:32:34,162 --> 00:32:34,872 Exactly, Sir. 636 00:32:34,913 --> 00:32:38,125 You're an Air Force General with enormous responsibilities. 637 00:32:39,001 --> 00:32:42,421 Ostensibly, I just stopped by to see how you were doing with Marty. 638 00:32:45,716 --> 00:32:48,510 Well, truth be known that... 639 00:32:48,844 --> 00:32:52,139 lately I've been feeling a little... 640 00:32:52,556 --> 00:32:53,557 what... 641 00:32:53,599 --> 00:32:55,184 how do I say it? 642 00:32:55,934 --> 00:32:58,228 It's okay to say that you missed us, Sir. 643 00:32:58,270 --> 00:32:59,479 No, not that. 644 00:32:59,521 --> 00:33:01,607 Like you have unfinished business? 645 00:33:01,648 --> 00:33:02,649 Okay. 646 00:33:03,734 --> 00:33:05,027 You need closure, 647 00:33:05,068 --> 00:33:06,820 and I have the perfect thing. 648 00:33:07,196 --> 00:33:10,908 We were about to go on a mission to commemorate my 200th trip through the Gate. 649 00:33:10,949 --> 00:33:12,034 Really? 650 00:33:12,326 --> 00:33:13,911 200, you say? 651 00:33:14,369 --> 00:33:17,539 That's 200 times he's stepped through the Gate, Sir, 652 00:33:17,581 --> 00:33:19,416 not actual missions. 653 00:33:19,458 --> 00:33:20,667 To be honest, 654 00:33:20,709 --> 00:33:24,421 I wouldn't mind one last jaunt through the old orifice. 655 00:33:29,009 --> 00:33:30,177 What? 656 00:33:31,553 --> 00:33:33,889 We call it that sometimes don't we? 657 00:33:34,806 --> 00:33:36,266 Orifice? 658 00:33:36,725 --> 00:33:39,019 Stupid focus groups! 659 00:33:39,061 --> 00:33:40,604 They hate the ending. 660 00:33:40,646 --> 00:33:42,439 I have to think of something new. 661 00:33:42,481 --> 00:33:43,899 They could go fishing. 662 00:33:44,358 --> 00:33:45,275 Fishing? 663 00:33:45,317 --> 00:33:47,027 Yeah, it would be the perfect ending. 664 00:33:47,402 --> 00:33:48,695 I mean, after that, 665 00:33:48,737 --> 00:33:52,157 anything else would seem... pointless. 666 00:33:53,700 --> 00:33:54,952 This is great. 667 00:33:55,994 --> 00:33:57,329 I told you. 668 00:34:02,209 --> 00:34:05,003 Yup, it's good to be here. 669 00:34:05,963 --> 00:34:07,714 You weren't there. 670 00:34:08,757 --> 00:34:11,426 So, what's the twist? 671 00:34:11,468 --> 00:34:12,886 No fish? 672 00:34:13,679 --> 00:34:16,557 I need something with more impact, 673 00:34:16,598 --> 00:34:18,433 something more... 674 00:34:18,725 --> 00:34:20,060 moving. 675 00:34:21,854 --> 00:34:23,730 Everyone loves a wedding. 676 00:34:36,076 --> 00:34:39,746 It's just a summer cold, Sir. 677 00:34:41,498 --> 00:34:42,791 A bit of a wait. 678 00:34:42,833 --> 00:34:44,334 Indeed. 679 00:34:49,089 --> 00:34:50,382 You know if she doesn't show, 680 00:34:50,424 --> 00:34:53,343 people are going to think that you and I are... 681 00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:56,138 What? 682 00:35:13,697 --> 00:35:14,948 Nice entrance. 683 00:35:15,032 --> 00:35:16,408 Sorry, Sir. 684 00:35:16,783 --> 00:35:17,910 Carter... 685 00:35:18,952 --> 00:35:20,287 Jack. 686 00:35:21,330 --> 00:35:22,581 Thank you. 687 00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:24,791 Shall we begin? 688 00:35:29,171 --> 00:35:30,547 Yeah, right, 689 00:35:30,589 --> 00:35:33,926 if I want to torture the audience on purpose. 690 00:35:33,967 --> 00:35:35,928 The Gate is back up and running. 691 00:35:36,136 --> 00:35:36,845 General. 692 00:35:37,054 --> 00:35:37,888 General. 693 00:35:38,555 --> 00:35:39,806 With permission...? 694 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,399 but I still don't have my ending! 695 00:36:01,411 --> 00:36:03,622 You keep these kids out of trouble, Jack. 696 00:36:05,582 --> 00:36:07,376 Here's an idea, Hank. 697 00:36:07,793 --> 00:36:09,503 Why don't you come along with us? 698 00:36:11,171 --> 00:36:12,130 - No, seriously. - I don't think so. 699 00:36:12,172 --> 00:36:13,215 Yeah, come on. 700 00:36:13,799 --> 00:36:17,386 It'll be kind of like a special occasion deal. 701 00:36:19,513 --> 00:36:21,139 Aw, what the hell. 702 00:36:21,181 --> 00:36:22,224 Hey, Walter! 703 00:36:22,266 --> 00:36:24,351 Come on, we're all going. 704 00:36:24,768 --> 00:36:26,436 I don't have the right outfit. 705 00:36:26,478 --> 00:36:27,980 You look fine! 706 00:36:44,037 --> 00:36:45,330 Everything ready? 707 00:36:46,748 --> 00:36:48,876 SGs 3 through 18 are waiting, Sir. 708 00:36:48,917 --> 00:36:50,043 The cake? 709 00:36:50,377 --> 00:36:51,670 It's all set. 710 00:36:51,962 --> 00:36:54,256 Balloons, streamers, the works. 711 00:36:54,423 --> 00:36:55,215 All right, 712 00:36:55,257 --> 00:36:58,886 let's go check out the mysteries of P2C-106. 713 00:37:01,722 --> 00:37:03,182 Hey, Marty. 714 00:37:03,557 --> 00:37:05,184 Why don't you come with us? 715 00:37:05,559 --> 00:37:08,729 Maybe find a little inspiration for the "end" 716 00:37:08,770 --> 00:37:11,106 of your little "movie." 717 00:37:11,148 --> 00:37:12,191 I can't. 718 00:37:12,232 --> 00:37:15,444 I just heard from the studio. The movie's been canceled. 719 00:37:16,612 --> 00:37:18,739 Oh, there's some heartbreak. 720 00:37:18,780 --> 00:37:19,948 Oh, that's too bad. 721 00:37:19,990 --> 00:37:21,116 Not for me. 722 00:37:21,617 --> 00:37:24,328 They decided to renew the series instead! 723 00:37:27,789 --> 00:37:29,041 Okay. 724 00:37:29,958 --> 00:37:31,418 Let's move out. 725 00:37:46,975 --> 00:37:48,352 And...cut! 726 00:37:50,395 --> 00:37:51,647 .... 727 00:37:52,147 --> 00:37:53,440 Good job, Doug. 728 00:37:53,899 --> 00:37:54,483 Ocean. 729 00:37:54,525 --> 00:37:55,442 Thanks. 730 00:37:55,651 --> 00:37:57,110 Well, that wasn't so bad. 731 00:37:57,152 --> 00:38:01,740 And that's a cut everybody. That is a wrap on the 200th episode! 732 00:38:03,116 --> 00:38:05,202 Nice job, everybody. 733 00:38:07,287 --> 00:38:11,041 So... did you ever think a show like this would go on for 200? 734 00:38:11,083 --> 00:38:12,459 Well, sure. 735 00:38:12,876 --> 00:38:15,546 What do you mean a show like this? 736 00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,341 Martin Lloyd. 737 00:38:19,842 --> 00:38:20,843 Yeah. 738 00:38:22,010 --> 00:38:23,512 Are you kidding? 739 00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:26,223 Hey, everybody. 740 00:38:26,390 --> 00:38:27,558 Guess what. 741 00:38:27,850 --> 00:38:30,018 The movie's back on! 742 00:38:35,357 --> 00:38:36,859 Ten seasons, 743 00:38:37,025 --> 00:38:40,571 seven saturn awards for best cable 744 00:38:40,612 --> 00:38:43,907 or syndication science fiction show... 745 00:38:44,783 --> 00:38:46,660 who would have guessed? 746 00:38:47,244 --> 00:38:49,288 I think first and foremost it has to do, 747 00:38:49,329 --> 00:38:50,956 you know with the writing. 748 00:38:52,249 --> 00:38:53,417 Obviously, 749 00:38:53,625 --> 00:38:56,378 we don't take ourselves too seriously... 750 00:38:56,420 --> 00:38:58,213 Oh, the writers are really great guys, 751 00:38:58,255 --> 00:38:59,464 all of them. 752 00:39:00,424 --> 00:39:02,009 Men... you know. 753 00:39:02,259 --> 00:39:04,386 Yeah it's a bit of a boys' club. 754 00:39:04,428 --> 00:39:08,849 The real challenge was coming up with a good catch phrase. 755 00:39:09,474 --> 00:39:12,686 "It's what I do." 756 00:39:13,103 --> 00:39:16,523 "It's what I do." 757 00:39:17,107 --> 00:39:18,942 That was so... 758 00:39:19,234 --> 00:39:20,277 you know... 759 00:39:20,694 --> 00:39:22,029 good. 760 00:39:22,321 --> 00:39:24,489 It defined Colonel Danning. 761 00:39:24,656 --> 00:39:27,701 I just don't think they know what they want to do with my character. 762 00:39:27,951 --> 00:39:30,120 I probably should have taken up golf 763 00:39:30,162 --> 00:39:32,414 a long time ago. 764 00:39:33,415 --> 00:39:35,751 Just... just kidding. 765 00:39:35,792 --> 00:39:39,505 And I needed something even better to make 766 00:39:39,546 --> 00:39:45,511 you forget about the guy that fans loved to watch for the first seven years of the show. 767 00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:47,596 I know he was here for eight but, 768 00:39:47,638 --> 00:39:53,018 you know a lot of people say he just kind of phoned it in that last season. 769 00:39:53,060 --> 00:39:56,855 Yeah, well, that's ancient history. We don't talk about that around here. 770 00:39:56,897 --> 00:39:58,357 The fact of the matter is, 771 00:39:58,398 --> 00:40:00,442 I don't really even know what happened there. 772 00:40:00,484 --> 00:40:03,153 You know, to me, it never felt like I was leaving the show. 773 00:40:03,195 --> 00:40:07,115 I just needed a little space, a little time, you know? I wanted to get back to my roots... theater. 774 00:40:07,157 --> 00:40:09,618 So I go to new york. Did a little Broadway, 775 00:40:09,660 --> 00:40:10,452 off-off-Broadway. 776 00:40:10,494 --> 00:40:12,079 Either way it doesn't matter. It was acting, you know, 777 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:16,667 acting without having people hurling papier-mache boulders at you all *** day. 778 00:40:16,708 --> 00:40:18,710 It was great, you know. I like 'em both. 779 00:40:18,752 --> 00:40:20,003 I like boulders I'm fine with that. 780 00:40:20,045 --> 00:40:24,007 This production runs like a well-oiled machine and... 781 00:40:24,049 --> 00:40:26,552 sure that starts from the top but, I mean, 782 00:40:26,593 --> 00:40:29,263 we all love the show... 783 00:40:29,304 --> 00:40:32,641 the gaffers, the lighting guy, 784 00:40:32,683 --> 00:40:35,477 the medic, makeup, 785 00:40:35,519 --> 00:40:36,895 and the caterers. 786 00:40:36,937 --> 00:40:38,063 It's like a family. 787 00:40:38,105 --> 00:40:40,941 The writers were trying to come up with a catch phrase. 788 00:40:41,984 --> 00:40:44,778 "I can get behind that!" 789 00:40:44,820 --> 00:40:47,239 Was something we tried for a while. 790 00:40:47,322 --> 00:40:48,282 Anyway, I mean, 791 00:40:48,323 --> 00:40:51,368 I'd actually like to do some writing... 792 00:40:52,619 --> 00:40:53,495 maybe have a baby? 793 00:40:54,371 --> 00:40:56,373 It just hit me. 794 00:40:57,958 --> 00:41:03,088 "Sweet *** *** ***" 795 00:41:04,173 --> 00:41:06,425 And we can get away with that too because 796 00:41:06,466 --> 00:41:07,426 it's cable. 797 00:41:07,801 --> 00:41:10,679 You can't get there without the fans, right. I have to thank them. 798 00:41:10,721 --> 00:41:13,098 I've got to thank specifically the ones... 799 00:41:13,140 --> 00:41:14,766 oh, god, what's it called? 800 00:41:14,975 --> 00:41:16,685 The... SaveDr.Levant.com. 801 00:41:16,727 --> 00:41:17,769 Have you seen the site? 802 00:41:17,811 --> 00:41:18,437 I mean, it's insane. 803 00:41:18,478 --> 00:41:22,191 Apparently they get dozens of hits a month, whatever I think that's a lot. 804 00:41:22,232 --> 00:41:26,111 But between them and the ad in Variety that they put out, 805 00:41:26,153 --> 00:41:29,573 I'm pretty sure that went a long way towards convincing the producers to take me back... 806 00:41:29,615 --> 00:41:31,283 have me... to invite me back. 807 00:41:31,366 --> 00:41:32,784 It wasn't their decision 808 00:41:32,826 --> 00:41:33,827 you know, they called, 809 00:41:33,869 --> 00:41:35,662 said, "do you want it?" You know, and I was ready. 810 00:41:35,704 --> 00:41:39,958 What I think really makes the show what it is 811 00:41:40,334 --> 00:41:45,923 is the chemistry with the cast. 812 00:41:46,131 --> 00:41:48,091 Yeah, oh, could you hold on? 813 00:41:48,133 --> 00:41:49,676 Stop the tape. 814 00:41:49,718 --> 00:41:51,803 Who does he think he is? 815 00:41:52,179 --> 00:41:57,142 Well, you tell that ungrateful *** *** bag to shove it up his *** ***. 816 00:41:57,184 --> 00:42:01,522 Yeah, yeah, let him try to get a job that pays this much. 817 00:42:04,024 --> 00:42:06,735 You weren't rolling, were... 818 00:42:06,860 --> 00:42:07,444 okay. 819 00:42:08,695 --> 00:42:09,571 What... 820 00:42:09,613 --> 00:42:10,614 what was I saying? 821 00:42:10,656 --> 00:42:13,575 Oh, oh, yes, the cast. 822 00:42:14,868 --> 00:42:21,333 Holy *** *** *** *** 823 00:42:22,334 --> 00:42:24,461 that would be like a nineteen. 824 00:42:24,503 --> 00:42:26,547 That's it you're good? Right. 825 00:42:26,922 --> 00:42:29,007 Can I get my *** sandwich please? 826 00:42:29,967 --> 00:42:31,510 Right, many thanks man. 827 00:42:31,927 --> 00:42:34,805 Science fiction is a existential metaphor. 828 00:42:34,847 --> 00:42:38,183 It allows to tell stories about the human condition. 829 00:42:38,475 --> 00:42:40,060 Isaac Asimov one said 830 00:42:40,102 --> 00:42:43,438 indivudual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever 831 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,108 to the blinder critics and philosophers of today 832 00:42:46,358 --> 00:42:48,527 but the core of science fiction, 833 00:42:48,569 --> 00:42:51,697 its essence has become crucial to our salvation 834 00:42:51,738 --> 00:42:53,866 if we are to be saved at all.