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Previously...
2
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on Stargate SG-1...
3
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I'm not just interested in outer space.
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I'm from outer space.
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Four excellent heroes
in an extraordinary new sci-fi series,
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starring Nick Marlowe as the wry Colonel Danning.
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As a matter of fact,
it does say "Colonel" on my uniform.
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Wormhole Extreme!
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It's what I do.
10
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He sold the idea to the studio.
11
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He obviously got the whole thing from
his knowledge of the Stargate Program.
12
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If the Air Force didn't want it to happen,
they wouldn't have let it go this far.
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Come on out.
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We are the Furlings.
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We thought we'd never get to meet you.
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We led them straight here.
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Sam!
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I thought I could make it work.
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The thermodynamic loop
is feeding back into the planet's core.
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Well, that never happened.
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Well, you've got to open big,
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catch people's attention, make them think
the whole thing is going to be jam-packed.
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I love jam!
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Oh, I get it. It's yet another playful twist
on words in your "Earth" language.
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It makes us look stupid.
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You realize it's not actually us.
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Okay, okay, it makes the characters look stupid.
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I mean, do you really think the best way
to introduce the heroes of the story
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is to show them causing a massive catastrophe?
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That's... realistic.
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I don't care.
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Come on. It would be fun.
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You know, you say that about everything.
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Come to think of it, why am I doing this?
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To make sure that the Air Force
is being properly represented,
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and because General O'Neill
has requested you specifically.
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Of course he did.
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Jackson, how often do we get to give notes
on a big Hollywood feature script?
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I believe this is intended to be a television movie.
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A fictionalized, albeit slightly ridiculous version
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of Stargate Command is an excellent cover
for the real thing in the event of a security leak.
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Plausible deniability.
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I'm sorry, Sir, did you say "slightly" ridiculous?
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You're doing this.
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You have no choice.
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Just give the man five minutes.
I'll get you out of this when the time comes.
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I've been looking through this,
and there doesn't seem to be any mention of...
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a sexy female alien...
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Anywhere.
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I'm not even in this!
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You know, the really unbelievable part
52
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is that anyone would consider spending
millions of dollars on this thing.
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I mean, seriously, all these writers,
and they couldn't come up with anything better?
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I don't know, I've been watching a lot of
television lately, and apart from one glaring omission,
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it doesn't seem to be that bad.
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Maybe... we can make it better.
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No, I'm with Sam on this one. I mean, who...
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who makes a movie out of a series
that only lasted three episodes?
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It allegedly performed well on DVD.
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No, I'm not using any shots from the series.
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It's a movie, not a clip show.
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The budget is the budget.
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They are a bunch of pencil-pushing,
bean-counting idiots.
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You tell them if they don't like it,
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I'm going to take it somewhere else.
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You know not to say that last part, right?
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Yeah, movie, not clip show, is fine.
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Yeah, I've got to go.
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Yeah.
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Cell coverage is just terrible in here.
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How's it going? You done?
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Well, it...
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certainly seems to be packed full of jam.
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I knew I should have given you my first draft.
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The producer brought in the other writers.
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I thought you were the producer.
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Yeah, the real one.
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Look, just be honest.
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I trust you guys. That's why I'm here.
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Just tell me what you think.
81
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Come on, you must have some ideas.
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Don't be afraid. Just pitch them out.
We call it "spinning"!
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Don't worry. No one's going to judge you.
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Okay, for starters,
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I think you need a strong opening title sequence.
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Are you serious?
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No one does that anymore.
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You just throw up the title and get on with it.
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Transcript by Tara Pathirana / sadgeezer.com
Subtitles by SG-66 - www.seriestele.net
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Season 10
200th Episode
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Walter! Dial 447!
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The only way to stop this is
to get the device back to the planet.
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Look, no offense, but...
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Zombies have been done to death.
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No... pun intended.
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Besides, this is science-fiction, not horror.
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Did I mention the Tel'Chak device?
'Cause that's what turned them into zombies.
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Oh, sorry.
99
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Go for Marty.
100
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Oh, hey, Charlie. What's up?
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It's the studio.
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What kind of problem?
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Just out of curiosity, what was the rest of the team
doing while your character was fighting the zombies?
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Son of a bitch!
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Studio executives...?
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What? Oh, no, Charlie...
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He's a great guy.
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He's the only one I trust.
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So, what's the problem, then?
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Our lead backed out.
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How am I supposed to tell a story
without my lead character?
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Easy. You just bring in a character to replace him.
113
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What?
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You guys have to help me.
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I mean, how can I keep the main character in the story
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without actually having the actor who plays him?
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Well, you could have the other characters
refer to him all the time,
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maybe get him on the phone once in a while.
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Oh, yeah, right. I mean something cool, like...
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Face-switching or... body-swapping?
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As if anyone would believe that.
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Come on, you guys must have some
real-life experiences I can draw on.
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Oh, well, there was that time
that Colonel O'Neill was invisible.
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So, essentially what I think happened
125
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is that you were bombarded by the particle field
being emanated by the cloaking generator.
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See, you were in the engine room standing right
next to it when the device was turned on.
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That would account for the minor traces
of radiation we've been picking up from you. But...
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the good news is
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I think I've found a way to reverse the process.
130
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We have to go back to the mothership
and get the cloaking generator.
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Sam, who are you talking to?
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Oh, Colonel O'Neill. I was just explaining to him
how we're going to make him visible again.
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No, you're not.
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Jack's in...
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Hammond's office.
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I can't believe he did that to me again.
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Yeah.
You know, getting that
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cloaking generator off that mothership that's gonna be
the least of our problems. Now, getting Jack to help...
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that's going to be the hard part.
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- Oh, don't tell me...
- Oh, yes.
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He likes being invisible.
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And so, by translating this tablet,
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we should be able to determine
the most important thing in the universe.
144
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Does everyone just want to poke around,
145
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see if you can find him?
146
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Sir...
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are you there?
148
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Nope.
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You cannot remain this way, O'Neill.
150
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Why not?
151
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It gives us an advantage over the Goa'uld.
152
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I can sneak around all I want totally undetected.
153
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I...
154
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give us the element of surprise.
155
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The bottom line is
156
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I can do more for this planet,
157
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invisible than I ever could
as my own sweet salient self.
158
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I assume I am staring at you stoically.
159
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- Not buying it...?
- No.
160
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You are most transparent, O'Neill.
161
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Oh, I get it.
162
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Good one.
163
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I can see right through you.
164
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Don't push it.
165
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Hello?
166
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Hand signals.
167
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I'm waving you over.
168
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Okay, I've made the necessary adjustments.
All I have to do now is initiate the sequence.
169
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Okay.
170
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Let's do it.
171
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Oh, yeah.
172
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This is better.
173
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It might feel like kind of a cheat.
174
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:13,197
Maybe it's best just not to mention the guy at all.
175
00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:18,619
Yeah... besides, invisibility can be very powerful.
176
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You might not want to open that can of worms.
177
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You don't want your heroes to become too powerful.
178
00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:27,419
Well, you could always invent
some negative side-effects.
179
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:31,256
That's how we talked
Colonel O'Neill into becoming visible again.
180
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:34,676
Okay, that's it.
SG-1, you are cleared to leave.
181
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:35,511
Thank you.
182
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,804
They can't leave!
They haven't finished reading my script!
183
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:40,641
That's funny,
I thought it said "General" on my uniform.
184
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- We owe you one, Sir.
- You mean another one.
185
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,979
What are you talking about?
I thought you said it was gonna be fun.
186
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,190
Not after his zombie idea got shot down.
187
00:10:48,232 --> 00:10:50,526
So, where are you guys all off to?
188
00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:53,070
Some place pretty important...?
189
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,364
It's just a recon mission, isn't it?
190
00:10:55,405 --> 00:11:00,619
Just a recon mission? This is no simple recon mission.
This is no less than my 200th trip through the Gate.
191
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:01,578
Really?
192
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- You're counting?
- You bet.
193
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:06,291
I have been reflecting while changing into our gear...
194
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:09,503
I believe this is far from your 200th mission,
Colonel Mitchell.
195
00:11:09,545 --> 00:11:13,882
I didn't say 200th mission.
I said 200th trip through the Gate. That's counting...
196
00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:17,761
off-world Gates, back and forth,
pretty much any time I crossed the event horizon.
197
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:21,056
Yeah...
this is gonna be huge...
198
00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:23,141
the big 2-0-0.
199
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,322
Fix it.
200
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,115
Quickly.
201
00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:39,074
I'm on it.
202
00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:41,076
Indeed.
203
00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:50,794
We've got to go! We've got 10 seconds
before the time dilation field is activated.
204
00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:53,630
If we don't make it through the Gate,
we'll be stuck here forever!
205
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:00,304
Okay, this could be a problem.
206
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,056
That was close...?
207
00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:04,308
Oh yeah.
208
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:05,767
Are you serious?
209
00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:06,643
What?
210
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,187
How did we escape?
211
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:09,563
They.
212
00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:12,566
Fine, they. They, they, they.
How did they escape?
213
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:14,860
Isn't it obvious?
214
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,446
Even if the valley wasn't filled with Jaffa,
215
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,407
we could never have made it
to the Gate and dialed out in under...
216
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:21,742
10 seconds.
217
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:22,201
Good.
218
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,119
See, that's why we're here.
219
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,162
So, what do you think?
220
00:12:25,204 --> 00:12:26,413
30 seconds?
221
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,082
May... maybe not such a round number.
222
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,083
How about...
223
00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:31,710
Thirty eight?
224
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:36,131
What difference does it make?
I mean, it's not like you're gonna have
an actual ticking clock on the screen.
225
00:12:36,215 --> 00:12:37,674
That's brilliant!
226
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,134
That's ridiculous.
227
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:40,052
Trust me.
228
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:43,096
Jeopardy plus ticking clock is box office.
229
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:45,849
It's the e = mc2 of the entertainment world.
230
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,392
Ask any executive.
231
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,979
Except I think
you've replaced jeopardy with certain death.
232
00:12:51,063 --> 00:12:51,855
Oh, come on,
233
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:55,484
you guys have escaped
situations more dire than this before.
234
00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:56,985
He has a point.
235
00:12:57,027 --> 00:13:00,155
- So show the actual escape.
- Oh, no, no, no.
236
00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:04,326
You can't give away too much too early.
It'll step on the ending.
237
00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:06,787
Maybe if my character doesn't say,
238
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,164
"this is a problem."
He could say something like,
239
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:12,459
- "this should be easy."
- How many times do I have to tell you?
240
00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:13,961
It's not you.
241
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:15,420
Colonel Danning...
242
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:17,422
is based on Colonel O'Neill.
243
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:23,720
Please tell me you have the Gate working again.
244
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:26,306
We're running another diagnostic,
but right now, we're stumped.
245
00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:30,435
The power's getting through to the capacitors,
but for some reason, the charge isn't holding.
246
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:33,605
That's causing the control crystal
to send feedback into the interface
247
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:36,859
and reset the programming code
of the base computer's dialing protocol.
248
00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:39,903
That was awesome.
249
00:13:39,945 --> 00:13:41,196
Say that again.
250
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:43,073
No.
251
00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:49,246
Everybody, take five.
I've got to get that down before I forget it.
252
00:13:49,288 --> 00:13:51,832
The power getting to the flux capacitor, but
253
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:56,587
feedback is not feeding back into the feedback face.
This is gold!
254
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:57,254
Hey.
255
00:13:58,714 --> 00:14:00,174
Forget about the techno-talk.
256
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:01,925
No one's really interested in it.
257
00:14:03,093 --> 00:14:05,387
- You're an alien, right?
- Exactly,
258
00:14:05,429 --> 00:14:07,181
and I know just what this movie needs.
259
00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:11,727
So how would you know what sci-fi fans
from Earth would be interested in?
260
00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:13,896
Aren't you also an alien?
261
00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:16,690
Yeah, but I've been here quite a while.
262
00:14:16,732 --> 00:14:17,691
Right. Look,
263
00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:20,485
I think I know a good story when I hear one.
264
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,447
Don't you want this movie to appeal
to a broad range of people?
265
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,698
From Earth.
266
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:30,913
I have all kinds of fabulous adventures,
none of which have been classified by the Air Force.
267
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,166
Okay, shoot. Give me your best one.
268
00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:34,791
Right.
269
00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:37,544
I was in a stolen cargo ship on my way home
270
00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:42,299
when a solar flare from a nearby star wreaked havoc
with my navigation system, and I was forced
271
00:14:42,341 --> 00:14:44,176
to crash-land on the nearest planet.
272
00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:45,802
In a bizarre twist of fate,
273
00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:49,223
I crashed right on top of
the Goa'uld who ruled that planet,
274
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:53,310
which was fortunate because my ship was too badly
damaged to repair, and I needed help.
275
00:14:54,228 --> 00:14:56,563
The local villagers were very grateful.
276
00:14:57,689 --> 00:15:03,028
They introduced me to a lovely fair-haired Tok'ra
who had been hiding out on the planet.
277
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:07,866
She told me the legend of a powerful ascended being
who supposedly lived in some distant,
278
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:11,662
- far-off mountains through a treacherous forest.
- Look, I don't have all day.
279
00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:13,330
- Cut to the chase.
- All right,
280
00:15:13,372 --> 00:15:18,043
I met up with a number of my friends along the way,
and after a dangerous and eventful journey,
281
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:21,547
we finally come face to face with the ascended being.
282
00:15:21,797 --> 00:15:24,007
What can I do for you?
283
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:27,219
Well, at first I thought I just wanted to go home but
284
00:15:27,261 --> 00:15:30,138
now I've decided I'd quite like
to be a part of something...
285
00:15:30,848 --> 00:15:34,101
a regular part, if you catch my drift.
286
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:38,647
Oh, and... these guys have their own issues. Boys?
287
00:15:49,408 --> 00:15:51,827
That's the Wizard of Oz.
288
00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:55,581
You've seen that one?
289
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:56,999
Yeah.
290
00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:59,168
Oh, that's my phone.
291
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,711
Martin Lloyd.
292
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,212
I didn't hear it ring.
293
00:16:02,254 --> 00:16:04,006
It's on... vibrate.
294
00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,591
Yes, go ahead.
295
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,342
I can sing.
296
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,055
So how's it going?
297
00:16:12,264 --> 00:16:13,557
Not well.
298
00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:15,684
Samantha, 200 is waiting.
299
00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:19,354
Right now, I'm just hoping we haven't done
something to permanently damage the Gate.
300
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:23,650
How can something work perfectly fine for 10 years,
then all of a sudden it doesn't work anymore?
301
00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,068
I don't know.
302
00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,695
Okay, try it now.
303
00:16:29,615 --> 00:16:32,701
We're getting some strange
power readings here, Colonel.
304
00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:34,369
Shut it down.
305
00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,164
It's not responding.
306
00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:40,167
The Gate's drawing massive amounts of energy
into its capacitors.
307
00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,294
Close the blast door and the iris.
308
00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:52,721
I can't shut it down.
309
00:16:53,222 --> 00:16:55,516
Siler, manually cut the power!
310
00:17:06,485 --> 00:17:09,613
Why does this always happen to me?
311
00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:12,366
Sir, we have to evacuate the base!
312
00:17:13,242 --> 00:17:16,745
This is General Landry.
I'm declaring a code red emergency.
313
00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:19,456
All personnel, evacuate the base immediately.
314
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:22,709
Sir, the capacitors are overloading.
We have to get out of here now.
315
00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:23,585
Hurry.
316
00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:34,596
And that is the end of act two.
317
00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:39,017
The mountain blows up?
318
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,061
No possible hope for survival.
319
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:41,895
Cool...?
320
00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:44,648
I just wrote it,
based on what's going on with the Gate.
321
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:47,442
I love it when art imitates life.
322
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,527
Hang on...
323
00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:50,863
we're alive in the next scene.
324
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:53,198
Oh, I just haven't fixed that part yet.
325
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:57,953
I'm thinking I can back-sell it and say
you were beamed out at the last second.
326
00:17:57,995 --> 00:17:59,079
Beamed out?
327
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,330
Sure. Why not?
328
00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:02,207
Is that not too convenient?
329
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:03,959
Not if you hang a lantern on it.
330
00:18:04,001 --> 00:18:04,793
What's that?
331
00:18:04,835 --> 00:18:06,211
It's a writer's term.
332
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:10,174
Another character points out how convenient it is.
333
00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:12,092
Dr. Levant can say,
334
00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:14,553
"Wow, that was great timing."
335
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:20,767
That way, the audience knows
I intended for it to be convenient, and we move on.
336
00:18:21,185 --> 00:18:22,394
Really.
337
00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,229
Okay, where were we?
338
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:25,898
Scene 24.
339
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:26,815
Oh, great,
340
00:18:26,857 --> 00:18:28,609
one of my favorite scenes.
341
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,027
Go ahead.
342
00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:35,741
Interior, bridge.
343
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,452
The crew mans their stations...
344
00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:40,954
I'm picking up a strange energy anomaly, Colonel.
345
00:18:40,996 --> 00:18:43,040
It appears the singularity is about to explode.
346
00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:44,333
Weapons are at maximum.
347
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,418
Dammit, Captain! Solar flare.
348
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:48,378
We've got a shock wave heading straight for us.
349
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:51,256
Can you reverse the... polarity?
350
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,674
I'll do my best.
351
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:54,801
Engine room...
352
00:18:54,843 --> 00:18:56,512
warp speed!
353
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:57,846
Take us out of here...
354
00:18:57,888 --> 00:18:59,014
now.
355
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:04,436
I'm giving it all I've got, Captain,
but you're expecting a bloody miracle.
356
00:19:04,478 --> 00:19:05,395
Hang on, hang on.
357
00:19:05,437 --> 00:19:06,188
What?
358
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:07,397
Okay, one...
359
00:19:07,564 --> 00:19:09,650
that's Star Trek. And two...
360
00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:11,109
it's ridiculous.
361
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,528
What's wrong with it?
362
00:19:12,569 --> 00:19:15,155
"The singularity is about to explode?"
363
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:16,240
Yes.
364
00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:18,367
Everything about that statement is wrong.
365
00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:21,703
How exactly is having weapons at maximum
going to help the situation?
366
00:19:21,745 --> 00:19:24,081
The audience isn't gonna know the difference.
367
00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:27,543
They love "weapons at maximum."
368
00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:31,755
Never underestimate your audience.
They're generally sensitive, intelligent people
369
00:19:31,797 --> 00:19:34,716
who respond positively to quality entertainment.
370
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:38,679
I do not understand why everything in this script
must inevitably explode.
371
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:45,269
Look, you guys may all know how things really work
out there in the galaxy, but I know the film business.
372
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:48,188
Explosions make great trailers.
373
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,731
Simple fact.
374
00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:51,149
More explosions,
375
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:52,401
better trailer.
376
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:53,485
Better trailer,
377
00:19:53,527 --> 00:19:55,654
more viewers.
378
00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:01,410
Yeah, go for Marty.
379
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,996
Oh, hey, Nora.
380
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:05,581
What?
381
00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:08,000
That's ridiculous.
382
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,169
Tell them to stop panicking.
383
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:11,753
We're gonna sign him.
384
00:20:11,795 --> 00:20:12,838
Don't worry.
385
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,048
I already put in a call in to his manager.
386
00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:17,134
We'll get back to you.
387
00:20:17,301 --> 00:20:18,886
Yeah. Bye.
388
00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,306
So... trouble with Nora.
389
00:20:22,347 --> 00:20:23,974
No. Nora...
she's great.
390
00:20:24,016 --> 00:20:26,894
But since Nick Marlowe is holding out,
391
00:20:26,977 --> 00:20:31,148
one of the new junior executives
at the network has suggested
392
00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:35,819
we re-cast the whole movie with
younger, edgier versions of the team.
393
00:20:35,861 --> 00:20:37,696
Can you imagine that?
394
00:20:48,999 --> 00:20:50,918
Yo, dawg,
what'd you do that for?
395
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:53,378
Dude, that hot chick was
so totally a Goa'uld!
396
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:55,255
Duh. I was still gonna tap that.
397
00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:57,049
You don't appreciate me, do you?
398
00:20:57,299 --> 00:21:00,010
I think you're so totally awesome.
399
00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:04,765
That's what I'm talkin' about.
400
00:21:07,184 --> 00:21:10,854
Yo, wonderbread,
you got that address figured out yet?
401
00:21:12,064 --> 00:21:13,023
Chill, T.
402
00:21:13,065 --> 00:21:16,109
I'm, like,
translating as fast as I can.
403
00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:19,905
I'm so sick of being treated like some
sort of object to be worshiped.
404
00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:22,032
I'm a real person with real feelings.
405
00:21:22,074 --> 00:21:23,033
You know,
406
00:21:24,576 --> 00:21:26,995
I don't think Mitchell likes me anymore.
407
00:21:27,079 --> 00:21:28,622
I'm pregnant.
408
00:21:30,958 --> 00:21:31,875
No.
409
00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:33,377
Nope.
410
00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:37,714
I need a latte.
411
00:21:39,883 --> 00:21:40,634
How about this one?
412
00:21:40,676 --> 00:21:44,388
We were in a cloaked cargo ship on a simple,
three-hour reconnaissance mission...
413
00:21:44,429 --> 00:21:46,265
Gilligan's island, right?
414
00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:48,851
You got that from
"three-hour reconnaissance mission"?
415
00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:49,977
Piece of advice...
416
00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:51,520
if you're gonna rip something off,
417
00:21:51,562 --> 00:21:53,814
think of something a little more obscure.
418
00:21:53,856 --> 00:21:55,023
Oh, okay.
419
00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:56,900
Call me fahrbot,
420
00:21:57,109 --> 00:21:59,319
but they gonna have our mivonks
on a platter if we don't...
421
00:21:59,736 --> 00:22:01,321
starburst the draz out of here.
422
00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:03,615
The cluster's been damaged,
we're not going anywhere.
423
00:22:05,659 --> 00:22:07,411
Oh, dren.
424
00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:08,996
Hezmana!
425
00:22:10,998 --> 00:22:12,291
Frell!
426
00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:15,085
Son of a hazmot!
427
00:22:15,919 --> 00:22:16,962
Yotz!
428
00:22:19,089 --> 00:22:20,883
Okay, you got me.
429
00:22:20,924 --> 00:22:23,594
I have no idea what that is.
430
00:22:24,136 --> 00:22:27,097
Oh, for crying out loud,
what now?
431
00:22:28,182 --> 00:22:30,517
Oh, give me a break!
432
00:22:32,436 --> 00:22:35,397
I just a got a text message from the studio.
433
00:22:35,439 --> 00:22:38,901
The foreign distributor went bankrupt.
They're slashing my budget.
434
00:22:39,026 --> 00:22:40,527
In a text message?
435
00:22:40,569 --> 00:22:43,447
This totally screws up the end of act three.
436
00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:45,365
What happens at the end of act three?
437
00:22:45,449 --> 00:22:47,367
With these cuts, not much.
438
00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:49,077
Act three just ends.
439
00:22:51,496 --> 00:22:52,915
What's so bad about this?
440
00:22:52,956 --> 00:22:54,875
Any idea when we'll be able to go?
441
00:22:54,917 --> 00:22:56,168
Sorry.
442
00:22:56,210 --> 00:22:58,921
We're trying a full reset of the system, Sir.
443
00:23:03,675 --> 00:23:05,219
If you want this to be more accurate,
444
00:23:05,260 --> 00:23:06,970
why don't you just give him your mission files?
445
00:23:07,012 --> 00:23:08,096
They're classified.
446
00:23:08,138 --> 00:23:11,683
So? Didn't you say that no one on your planet
would believe this was all real anyway?
447
00:23:11,725 --> 00:23:14,394
Even still, do you know how many
mission files there are?
448
00:23:14,478 --> 00:23:16,813
1,263,
449
00:23:17,272 --> 00:23:19,316
hopefully 64 by the end of the day.
450
00:23:19,358 --> 00:23:22,236
Actually, it's 1,264 already.
451
00:23:22,277 --> 00:23:25,739
No, it's 63, pretty sure.
I've read all the files recently.
452
00:23:25,781 --> 00:23:28,784
Actually, you haven't read 30185.
453
00:23:29,535 --> 00:23:31,703
30185?
454
00:23:32,663 --> 00:23:33,580
What's that?
455
00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:35,582
We can't tell you.
456
00:23:36,083 --> 00:23:38,210
What do you mean you can't tell me?
457
00:23:38,252 --> 00:23:40,671
I have the highest security clearance
known to mankind. What...
458
00:23:40,712 --> 00:23:43,257
what is 30185?
459
00:23:43,340 --> 00:23:45,342
We were sworn to secrecy.
460
00:23:46,802 --> 00:23:50,097
Well, why even mention it to me if you're
not going to tell me what it is?
461
00:23:50,764 --> 00:23:51,932
Sorry.
462
00:23:52,057 --> 00:23:54,351
- Can you tell me?
- Oh, yeah, we can tell you.
463
00:23:54,685 --> 00:23:58,522
It has to do with the time that
the Gate sent us back to 1969.
464
00:23:58,814 --> 00:24:01,859
Well, that can't have anything to do with me.
I wasn't born till a year later.
465
00:24:01,900 --> 00:24:05,070
Actually, it was nine months
before he was born.
466
00:24:05,153 --> 00:24:06,196
What?
467
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:08,740
You have to remember it was the '60s.
468
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,243
Come on...
469
00:24:11,660 --> 00:24:15,497
you have to have known that Jack's
always taken an interest in your life.
470
00:24:15,747 --> 00:24:16,665
Jack?
471
00:24:16,832 --> 00:24:18,041
O'Neill?
472
00:24:18,959 --> 00:24:20,169
Indeed.
473
00:24:21,128 --> 00:24:25,465
Do you remember when you were chosen for the 302
program even though you didn't think you should get in?
474
00:24:25,549 --> 00:24:27,718
How about when you were chosen for SG-1?
475
00:24:28,635 --> 00:24:29,803
Wait, are you saying that...
476
00:24:29,887 --> 00:24:31,847
- Jack O'Neill is...
- My daddy?
477
00:24:31,972 --> 00:24:34,892
All starting to make sense now, isn't it?
478
00:24:37,936 --> 00:24:40,272
Oh, I'm being punk'd, aren't I?
479
00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:43,483
We honestly can't tell you about 30185.
480
00:24:44,776 --> 00:24:46,069
I can't believe it!
481
00:24:46,278 --> 00:24:50,574
The whole cast heard Marlowe is holding out for
more money, and now they're all joining in.
482
00:24:51,366 --> 00:24:53,410
Where do they think it comes from?
483
00:24:55,329 --> 00:24:58,165
How am I supposed to do a movie
without any actors?
484
00:24:58,248 --> 00:24:59,082
Carter...
485
00:24:59,249 --> 00:25:04,254
correct me if I'm wrong on this,but is it not a fact
of parallel dimension physics that each of us exists
486
00:25:04,296 --> 00:25:07,633
somewhere in some universe in whatever way,
shape, or form we can imagine?
487
00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:10,844
Any way, shape, or form we can imagine.
We've seen it for ourselves.
488
00:25:11,094 --> 00:25:12,387
There you go.
489
00:25:13,555 --> 00:25:15,057
Use your imagination.
490
00:25:25,108 --> 00:25:26,485
All right, people.
491
00:25:26,527 --> 00:25:33,367
We created this multi-billion dollar facility under
cheyenne mountain so that we can use this thing...
492
00:25:34,493 --> 00:25:36,119
anyone know how?
493
00:25:40,749 --> 00:25:43,752
Sir, we thought you knew.
494
00:25:44,294 --> 00:25:45,712
I do know this...
495
00:25:45,963 --> 00:25:48,048
we need to put together a team,
496
00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:53,470
starting with the most beautiful,
battle-ready scientific genius I know...
497
00:25:53,804 --> 00:25:57,724
- Captain Doctor Samantha Carter.
- Reporting for duty, Sir.
498
00:25:57,766 --> 00:25:59,726
What can you tell us, Captain?
499
00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:06,483
Well, at first glance, I suspect the device creates
a stable wormhole between superconducting rings
500
00:26:06,525 --> 00:26:10,737
that have been placed in fixed positions elsewhere...
... converts matter into energy at the event horizon...
501
00:26:10,779 --> 00:26:13,031
once the initial vortex has subsided, of course...
502
00:26:13,073 --> 00:26:15,158
and just because my sex organs are on the inside
503
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,244
instead of the outside doesn't
mean that I can't handle...
504
00:26:17,286 --> 00:26:20,247
provided, of course, that sufficient energy
has been channeled to the device
505
00:26:20,289 --> 00:26:22,624
and that the correct coordinates have been calculated.
506
00:26:24,376 --> 00:26:26,336
Okay, get to it.
507
00:26:27,504 --> 00:26:32,885
Next, we need a bookworm adventurer who
can say "brains" and "guts" in 27 languages...
508
00:26:32,926 --> 00:26:34,511
Dr. Daniel Jackson.
509
00:26:34,553 --> 00:26:37,014
Why have I been brought here? This is not...
510
00:26:39,266 --> 00:26:40,809
What is that?
511
00:26:40,851 --> 00:26:42,686
The reason you're here, Doctor.
512
00:26:42,728 --> 00:26:44,188
This big ring...
513
00:26:44,229 --> 00:26:47,608
was discovered in the sands of Egypt near giza.
514
00:26:48,984 --> 00:26:50,277
Then I was right.
515
00:26:50,861 --> 00:26:57,117
The pyramids really were landing sites for
interplanetary starships that enslaved primitive
human populations by posing as their gods.
516
00:26:57,826 --> 00:26:58,744
Well...
517
00:26:58,785 --> 00:27:00,954
we found the ring in the sand.
518
00:27:01,205 --> 00:27:03,290
These symbols, they look familiar.
519
00:27:03,874 --> 00:27:06,043
They're like constellations. Don't you see?
520
00:27:06,418 --> 00:27:07,419
Here.
521
00:27:09,963 --> 00:27:13,467
If each symbol represents a specific point in space,
522
00:27:13,509 --> 00:27:17,095
then six of them would create a sort of box.
523
00:27:17,137 --> 00:27:18,931
The intersection point between those six points
524
00:27:18,972 --> 00:27:20,933
would indicate a destination.
525
00:27:20,974 --> 00:27:22,976
Maybe, just maybe,
526
00:27:23,018 --> 00:27:26,188
the seventh marks the starting point.
527
00:27:26,230 --> 00:27:28,732
Is there a monitor that shows these symbols in detail?
528
00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:30,526
Over here, Dr. Jackson.
529
00:27:37,950 --> 00:27:38,951
Wait.
530
00:27:39,243 --> 00:27:40,911
This one seems different.
531
00:27:41,495 --> 00:27:43,080
You found the ring in egypt...
532
00:27:43,121 --> 00:27:44,831
the pyramid represents Earth.
533
00:27:44,873 --> 00:27:47,000
This symbol has to be the point of origin.
534
00:27:47,084 --> 00:27:49,545
It was under our noses the whole time.
535
00:27:50,087 --> 00:27:52,047
I feel so stupid.
536
00:27:52,589 --> 00:27:54,842
And now what this team needs is a leader,
537
00:27:54,883 --> 00:27:58,095
someone who'll laugh in the face of his enemy,
538
00:27:58,136 --> 00:28:00,639
even when it's inappropriate.
539
00:28:01,265 --> 00:28:02,891
Colonel Jack O'Neill.
540
00:28:03,392 --> 00:28:05,352
I thought I told you I retired.
541
00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:09,314
I thought you said you were tired.
542
00:28:11,024 --> 00:28:13,944
Well, as a matter of fact, I am a little tired.
543
00:28:13,986 --> 00:28:16,029
There's no time for that now.
544
00:28:16,071 --> 00:28:18,282
You have a mission to lead.
545
00:28:18,448 --> 00:28:19,616
Right!
546
00:28:21,660 --> 00:28:22,578
Sergeant?
547
00:28:22,619 --> 00:28:24,079
Make it spin.
548
00:28:24,329 --> 00:28:25,539
Spin?
549
00:28:26,707 --> 00:28:28,250
Sir, it doesn't spin.
550
00:28:28,417 --> 00:28:29,418
What?
551
00:28:29,710 --> 00:28:31,837
It has to spin. It's round.
552
00:28:32,087 --> 00:28:34,882
Spinning is so much cooler than not spinning.
553
00:28:35,007 --> 00:28:36,425
I'm the General.
554
00:28:36,466 --> 00:28:37,968
I want it to spin.
555
00:28:38,010 --> 00:28:39,011
Now!
556
00:28:39,052 --> 00:28:40,387
Yes, Sir.
557
00:28:44,141 --> 00:28:45,934
Hey, look at that.
558
00:28:50,647 --> 00:28:52,774
Chevron one is lit up.
559
00:28:52,816 --> 00:28:54,818
I wonder what we're going to find on the other side.
560
00:28:54,860 --> 00:28:56,737
Whatever it is, I'll bet it's amazing.
561
00:28:56,778 --> 00:28:58,030
Well, don't get too excited.
562
00:28:58,071 --> 00:28:59,865
It's just a simple recon.
563
00:28:59,907 --> 00:29:02,409
Aren't you the least bit
curious about what's out there?
564
00:29:02,451 --> 00:29:04,953
Well, I'm just hoping
we find some new meat for the team,
565
00:29:04,995 --> 00:29:08,248
preferably something bald,
566
00:29:08,457 --> 00:29:09,958
mysterious...
567
00:29:10,250 --> 00:29:12,461
you know the warrior type with lots of,
568
00:29:12,503 --> 00:29:14,379
you know, muscles...
569
00:29:14,421 --> 00:29:18,842
Sir, the odds against any alien lifeforms
we encounter looking remotely human are
570
00:29:19,051 --> 00:29:20,385
astronomical.
571
00:29:20,427 --> 00:29:21,595
Yeah, well...
572
00:29:22,971 --> 00:29:24,181
we'll see.
573
00:29:27,351 --> 00:29:28,685
Chevron seven...
574
00:29:28,727 --> 00:29:30,479
also lit up.
575
00:29:38,028 --> 00:29:38,737
Holy...
576
00:29:38,779 --> 00:29:41,365
Colonel O'Neill, you have a go.
577
00:29:41,406 --> 00:29:42,741
Godspeed.
578
00:29:42,950 --> 00:29:44,785
Easy for him to say.
579
00:29:53,710 --> 00:29:55,212
Okay,
580
00:29:56,046 --> 00:29:58,715
we're all going to do this together on three, right?
581
00:29:59,258 --> 00:30:00,384
Okay?
582
00:30:00,717 --> 00:30:01,844
Okay.
583
00:30:02,511 --> 00:30:03,595
One...
584
00:30:04,805 --> 00:30:05,389
two...
585
00:30:05,430 --> 00:30:06,431
three!
586
00:30:14,356 --> 00:30:16,608
Dear god in heaven.
587
00:30:18,569 --> 00:30:21,697
I feel so stupid.
588
00:30:34,543 --> 00:30:37,254
Yeah, that'll work.
589
00:30:37,296 --> 00:30:39,381
A whole movie made with puppets.
590
00:30:39,423 --> 00:30:42,217
- Hey, I'm just saying...
- Maybe we can have puppet O'Neill
591
00:30:42,259 --> 00:30:44,136
jump over a puppet shark
592
00:30:44,178 --> 00:30:46,430
on a one-third scale motorcycle.
593
00:30:47,556 --> 00:30:48,682
I don't get it.
594
00:30:48,724 --> 00:30:51,185
Look, you don't know the business like I do.
595
00:30:51,226 --> 00:30:53,103
I don't have any money,
596
00:30:53,145 --> 00:30:57,441
so I have to give the actors something else.
597
00:30:57,566 --> 00:30:58,734
Bigger trailers?
598
00:30:58,775 --> 00:31:00,485
I can't afford that either.
599
00:31:00,527 --> 00:31:02,070
No, I have to give them something
600
00:31:02,112 --> 00:31:06,116
that costs me nothing but no actor can refuse.
601
00:31:06,158 --> 00:31:07,367
And what's that?
602
00:31:07,409 --> 00:31:09,703
A good ego stroking.
603
00:31:09,745 --> 00:31:11,038
I have to make them think
604
00:31:11,079 --> 00:31:13,457
that I re-wrote the script just for them.
605
00:31:13,498 --> 00:31:17,085
In this draft, there has to be something
that makes them want to do this movie
606
00:31:17,127 --> 00:31:18,712
even if it's for scale.
607
00:31:18,754 --> 00:31:19,630
You know,
608
00:31:19,671 --> 00:31:21,757
we've been trying here.
609
00:31:22,174 --> 00:31:23,592
You're not listening.
610
00:31:23,634 --> 00:31:26,094
I'm talking about a twist,
611
00:31:26,136 --> 00:31:27,888
something nobody's expecting.
612
00:31:27,930 --> 00:31:30,015
You mean something like this?
613
00:31:38,732 --> 00:31:40,943
I don't think anyone will see that coming.
614
00:31:40,984 --> 00:31:42,402
No, but there'll be spoilers.
615
00:31:42,444 --> 00:31:43,403
Are you kidding?
616
00:31:43,445 --> 00:31:45,197
It'll be in the commercial.
617
00:31:48,492 --> 00:31:50,494
When it comes to fighting crime,
618
00:31:50,536 --> 00:31:53,247
there's only one man keepin' the streets safe...
619
00:31:53,288 --> 00:31:55,082
while keepin' it real.
620
00:31:59,294 --> 00:32:00,671
Indeed.
621
00:32:00,712 --> 00:32:02,089
Teal'c P.I.
622
00:32:02,214 --> 00:32:03,757
Coming this fall.
623
00:32:04,758 --> 00:32:06,009
I love it.
624
00:32:08,136 --> 00:32:10,514
I'm just not sure if the network...
625
00:32:10,556 --> 00:32:13,100
but I'll pitch it to them next week and...
626
00:32:13,141 --> 00:32:15,894
and we'll see what they think...
627
00:32:16,728 --> 00:32:19,106
Oh, I have to get that.
628
00:32:19,147 --> 00:32:21,108
We'll talk later.
629
00:32:21,358 --> 00:32:22,651
You got Marty.
630
00:32:22,693 --> 00:32:24,528
So what brings you this way, Sir?
631
00:32:25,779 --> 00:32:29,324
What, a guy can't just stop by from Malibu to say, hi?
632
00:32:29,366 --> 00:32:30,492
Malibu?
633
00:32:30,534 --> 00:32:31,410
Sure.
634
00:32:32,119 --> 00:32:33,912
I was there on business.
635
00:32:34,162 --> 00:32:34,872
Exactly, Sir.
636
00:32:34,913 --> 00:32:38,125
You're an Air Force General
with enormous responsibilities.
637
00:32:39,001 --> 00:32:42,421
Ostensibly, I just stopped by
to see how you were doing with Marty.
638
00:32:45,716 --> 00:32:48,510
Well, truth be known that...
639
00:32:48,844 --> 00:32:52,139
lately I've been feeling a little...
640
00:32:52,556 --> 00:32:53,557
what...
641
00:32:53,599 --> 00:32:55,184
how do I say it?
642
00:32:55,934 --> 00:32:58,228
It's okay to say that you missed us, Sir.
643
00:32:58,270 --> 00:32:59,479
No, not that.
644
00:32:59,521 --> 00:33:01,607
Like you have unfinished business?
645
00:33:01,648 --> 00:33:02,649
Okay.
646
00:33:03,734 --> 00:33:05,027
You need closure,
647
00:33:05,068 --> 00:33:06,820
and I have the perfect thing.
648
00:33:07,196 --> 00:33:10,908
We were about to go on a mission to
commemorate my 200th trip through the Gate.
649
00:33:10,949 --> 00:33:12,034
Really?
650
00:33:12,326 --> 00:33:13,911
200, you say?
651
00:33:14,369 --> 00:33:17,539
That's 200 times he's stepped through the Gate, Sir,
652
00:33:17,581 --> 00:33:19,416
not actual missions.
653
00:33:19,458 --> 00:33:20,667
To be honest,
654
00:33:20,709 --> 00:33:24,421
I wouldn't mind one last jaunt through the old orifice.
655
00:33:29,009 --> 00:33:30,177
What?
656
00:33:31,553 --> 00:33:33,889
We call it that sometimes don't we?
657
00:33:34,806 --> 00:33:36,266
Orifice?
658
00:33:36,725 --> 00:33:39,019
Stupid focus groups!
659
00:33:39,061 --> 00:33:40,604
They hate the ending.
660
00:33:40,646 --> 00:33:42,439
I have to think of something new.
661
00:33:42,481 --> 00:33:43,899
They could go fishing.
662
00:33:44,358 --> 00:33:45,275
Fishing?
663
00:33:45,317 --> 00:33:47,027
Yeah, it would be the perfect ending.
664
00:33:47,402 --> 00:33:48,695
I mean, after that,
665
00:33:48,737 --> 00:33:52,157
anything else would seem... pointless.
666
00:33:53,700 --> 00:33:54,952
This is great.
667
00:33:55,994 --> 00:33:57,329
I told you.
668
00:34:02,209 --> 00:34:05,003
Yup, it's good to be here.
669
00:34:05,963 --> 00:34:07,714
You weren't there.
670
00:34:08,757 --> 00:34:11,426
So, what's the twist?
671
00:34:11,468 --> 00:34:12,886
No fish?
672
00:34:13,679 --> 00:34:16,557
I need something with more impact,
673
00:34:16,598 --> 00:34:18,433
something more...
674
00:34:18,725 --> 00:34:20,060
moving.
675
00:34:21,854 --> 00:34:23,730
Everyone loves a wedding.
676
00:34:36,076 --> 00:34:39,746
It's just a summer cold, Sir.
677
00:34:41,498 --> 00:34:42,791
A bit of a wait.
678
00:34:42,833 --> 00:34:44,334
Indeed.
679
00:34:49,089 --> 00:34:50,382
You know if she doesn't show,
680
00:34:50,424 --> 00:34:53,343
people are going to think that you and I are...
681
00:34:54,761 --> 00:34:56,138
What?
682
00:35:13,697 --> 00:35:14,948
Nice entrance.
683
00:35:15,032 --> 00:35:16,408
Sorry, Sir.
684
00:35:16,783 --> 00:35:17,910
Carter...
685
00:35:18,952 --> 00:35:20,287
Jack.
686
00:35:21,330 --> 00:35:22,581
Thank you.
687
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:24,791
Shall we begin?
688
00:35:29,171 --> 00:35:30,547
Yeah, right,
689
00:35:30,589 --> 00:35:33,926
if I want to torture the audience on purpose.
690
00:35:33,967 --> 00:35:35,928
The Gate is back up and running.
691
00:35:36,136 --> 00:35:36,845
General.
692
00:35:37,054 --> 00:35:37,888
General.
693
00:35:38,555 --> 00:35:39,806
With permission...?
694
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,399
but I still don't have my ending!
695
00:36:01,411 --> 00:36:03,622
You keep these kids out of trouble, Jack.
696
00:36:05,582 --> 00:36:07,376
Here's an idea, Hank.
697
00:36:07,793 --> 00:36:09,503
Why don't you come along with us?
698
00:36:11,171 --> 00:36:12,130
- No, seriously.
- I don't think so.
699
00:36:12,172 --> 00:36:13,215
Yeah, come on.
700
00:36:13,799 --> 00:36:17,386
It'll be kind of like a special occasion deal.
701
00:36:19,513 --> 00:36:21,139
Aw, what the hell.
702
00:36:21,181 --> 00:36:22,224
Hey, Walter!
703
00:36:22,266 --> 00:36:24,351
Come on, we're all going.
704
00:36:24,768 --> 00:36:26,436
I don't have the right outfit.
705
00:36:26,478 --> 00:36:27,980
You look fine!
706
00:36:44,037 --> 00:36:45,330
Everything ready?
707
00:36:46,748 --> 00:36:48,876
SGs 3 through 18 are waiting, Sir.
708
00:36:48,917 --> 00:36:50,043
The cake?
709
00:36:50,377 --> 00:36:51,670
It's all set.
710
00:36:51,962 --> 00:36:54,256
Balloons, streamers, the works.
711
00:36:54,423 --> 00:36:55,215
All right,
712
00:36:55,257 --> 00:36:58,886
let's go check out the mysteries of P2C-106.
713
00:37:01,722 --> 00:37:03,182
Hey, Marty.
714
00:37:03,557 --> 00:37:05,184
Why don't you come with us?
715
00:37:05,559 --> 00:37:08,729
Maybe find a little inspiration for the "end"
716
00:37:08,770 --> 00:37:11,106
of your little "movie."
717
00:37:11,148 --> 00:37:12,191
I can't.
718
00:37:12,232 --> 00:37:15,444
I just heard from the studio.
The movie's been canceled.
719
00:37:16,612 --> 00:37:18,739
Oh, there's some heartbreak.
720
00:37:18,780 --> 00:37:19,948
Oh, that's too bad.
721
00:37:19,990 --> 00:37:21,116
Not for me.
722
00:37:21,617 --> 00:37:24,328
They decided to renew the series instead!
723
00:37:27,789 --> 00:37:29,041
Okay.
724
00:37:29,958 --> 00:37:31,418
Let's move out.
725
00:37:46,975 --> 00:37:48,352
And...cut!
726
00:37:50,395 --> 00:37:51,647
....
727
00:37:52,147 --> 00:37:53,440
Good job, Doug.
728
00:37:53,899 --> 00:37:54,483
Ocean.
729
00:37:54,525 --> 00:37:55,442
Thanks.
730
00:37:55,651 --> 00:37:57,110
Well, that wasn't so bad.
731
00:37:57,152 --> 00:38:01,740
And that's a cut everybody.
That is a wrap on the 200th episode!
732
00:38:03,116 --> 00:38:05,202
Nice job, everybody.
733
00:38:07,287 --> 00:38:11,041
So... did you ever think
a show like this would go on for 200?
734
00:38:11,083 --> 00:38:12,459
Well, sure.
735
00:38:12,876 --> 00:38:15,546
What do you mean a show like this?
736
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,341
Martin Lloyd.
737
00:38:19,842 --> 00:38:20,843
Yeah.
738
00:38:22,010 --> 00:38:23,512
Are you kidding?
739
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:26,223
Hey, everybody.
740
00:38:26,390 --> 00:38:27,558
Guess what.
741
00:38:27,850 --> 00:38:30,018
The movie's back on!
742
00:38:35,357 --> 00:38:36,859
Ten seasons,
743
00:38:37,025 --> 00:38:40,571
seven saturn awards for best cable
744
00:38:40,612 --> 00:38:43,907
or syndication science fiction show...
745
00:38:44,783 --> 00:38:46,660
who would have guessed?
746
00:38:47,244 --> 00:38:49,288
I think first and foremost it has to do,
747
00:38:49,329 --> 00:38:50,956
you know with the writing.
748
00:38:52,249 --> 00:38:53,417
Obviously,
749
00:38:53,625 --> 00:38:56,378
we don't take ourselves too seriously...
750
00:38:56,420 --> 00:38:58,213
Oh, the writers are really great guys,
751
00:38:58,255 --> 00:38:59,464
all of them.
752
00:39:00,424 --> 00:39:02,009
Men... you know.
753
00:39:02,259 --> 00:39:04,386
Yeah it's a bit of a boys' club.
754
00:39:04,428 --> 00:39:08,849
The real challenge was coming up
with a good catch phrase.
755
00:39:09,474 --> 00:39:12,686
"It's what I do."
756
00:39:13,103 --> 00:39:16,523
"It's what I do."
757
00:39:17,107 --> 00:39:18,942
That was so...
758
00:39:19,234 --> 00:39:20,277
you know...
759
00:39:20,694 --> 00:39:22,029
good.
760
00:39:22,321 --> 00:39:24,489
It defined Colonel Danning.
761
00:39:24,656 --> 00:39:27,701
I just don't think they know what
they want to do with my character.
762
00:39:27,951 --> 00:39:30,120
I probably should have taken up golf
763
00:39:30,162 --> 00:39:32,414
a long time ago.
764
00:39:33,415 --> 00:39:35,751
Just... just kidding.
765
00:39:35,792 --> 00:39:39,505
And I needed something even better to make
766
00:39:39,546 --> 00:39:45,511
you forget about the guy that fans loved
to watch for the first seven years of the show.
767
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:47,596
I know he was here for eight but,
768
00:39:47,638 --> 00:39:53,018
you know a lot of people say he just
kind of phoned it in that last season.
769
00:39:53,060 --> 00:39:56,855
Yeah, well, that's ancient history.
We don't talk about that around here.
770
00:39:56,897 --> 00:39:58,357
The fact of the matter is,
771
00:39:58,398 --> 00:40:00,442
I don't really even know what happened there.
772
00:40:00,484 --> 00:40:03,153
You know, to me,
it never felt like I was leaving the show.
773
00:40:03,195 --> 00:40:07,115
I just needed a little space, a little time, you know?
I wanted to get back to my roots... theater.
774
00:40:07,157 --> 00:40:09,618
So I go to new york. Did a little Broadway,
775
00:40:09,660 --> 00:40:10,452
off-off-Broadway.
776
00:40:10,494 --> 00:40:12,079
Either way it doesn't matter. It was acting, you know,
777
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:16,667
acting without having people hurling
papier-mache boulders at you all *** day.
778
00:40:16,708 --> 00:40:18,710
It was great, you know. I like 'em both.
779
00:40:18,752 --> 00:40:20,003
I like boulders I'm fine with that.
780
00:40:20,045 --> 00:40:24,007
This production runs like a well-oiled machine and...
781
00:40:24,049 --> 00:40:26,552
sure that starts from the top but, I mean,
782
00:40:26,593 --> 00:40:29,263
we all love the show...
783
00:40:29,304 --> 00:40:32,641
the gaffers, the lighting guy,
784
00:40:32,683 --> 00:40:35,477
the medic, makeup,
785
00:40:35,519 --> 00:40:36,895
and the caterers.
786
00:40:36,937 --> 00:40:38,063
It's like a family.
787
00:40:38,105 --> 00:40:40,941
The writers were trying to come up with a catch phrase.
788
00:40:41,984 --> 00:40:44,778
"I can get behind that!"
789
00:40:44,820 --> 00:40:47,239
Was something we tried for a while.
790
00:40:47,322 --> 00:40:48,282
Anyway, I mean,
791
00:40:48,323 --> 00:40:51,368
I'd actually like to do some writing...
792
00:40:52,619 --> 00:40:53,495
maybe have a baby?
793
00:40:54,371 --> 00:40:56,373
It just hit me.
794
00:40:57,958 --> 00:41:03,088
"Sweet *** *** ***"
795
00:41:04,173 --> 00:41:06,425
And we can get away with that too because
796
00:41:06,466 --> 00:41:07,426
it's cable.
797
00:41:07,801 --> 00:41:10,679
You can't get there without the fans, right.
I have to thank them.
798
00:41:10,721 --> 00:41:13,098
I've got to thank specifically the ones...
799
00:41:13,140 --> 00:41:14,766
oh, god, what's it called?
800
00:41:14,975 --> 00:41:16,685
The... SaveDr.Levant.com.
801
00:41:16,727 --> 00:41:17,769
Have you seen the site?
802
00:41:17,811 --> 00:41:18,437
I mean, it's insane.
803
00:41:18,478 --> 00:41:22,191
Apparently they get dozens of hits a month,
whatever I think that's a lot.
804
00:41:22,232 --> 00:41:26,111
But between them and
the ad in Variety that they put out,
805
00:41:26,153 --> 00:41:29,573
I'm pretty sure that went a long way towards
convincing the producers to take me back...
806
00:41:29,615 --> 00:41:31,283
have me... to invite me back.
807
00:41:31,366 --> 00:41:32,784
It wasn't their decision
808
00:41:32,826 --> 00:41:33,827
you know, they called,
809
00:41:33,869 --> 00:41:35,662
said, "do you want it?"
You know, and I was ready.
810
00:41:35,704 --> 00:41:39,958
What I think really makes the show what it is
811
00:41:40,334 --> 00:41:45,923
is the chemistry with the cast.
812
00:41:46,131 --> 00:41:48,091
Yeah, oh, could you hold on?
813
00:41:48,133 --> 00:41:49,676
Stop the tape.
814
00:41:49,718 --> 00:41:51,803
Who does he think he is?
815
00:41:52,179 --> 00:41:57,142
Well, you tell that ungrateful
*** *** bag to shove it up his *** ***.
816
00:41:57,184 --> 00:42:01,522
Yeah, yeah, let him try
to get a job that pays this much.
817
00:42:04,024 --> 00:42:06,735
You weren't rolling, were...
818
00:42:06,860 --> 00:42:07,444
okay.
819
00:42:08,695 --> 00:42:09,571
What...
820
00:42:09,613 --> 00:42:10,614
what was I saying?
821
00:42:10,656 --> 00:42:13,575
Oh, oh, yes, the cast.
822
00:42:14,868 --> 00:42:21,333
Holy *** *** *** ***
823
00:42:22,334 --> 00:42:24,461
that would be like a nineteen.
824
00:42:24,503 --> 00:42:26,547
That's it you're good?
Right.
825
00:42:26,922 --> 00:42:29,007
Can I get my *** sandwich please?
826
00:42:29,967 --> 00:42:31,510
Right, many thanks man.
827
00:42:31,927 --> 00:42:34,805
Science fiction is a existential metaphor.
828
00:42:34,847 --> 00:42:38,183
It allows to tell stories about the human condition.
829
00:42:38,475 --> 00:42:40,060
Isaac Asimov one said
830
00:42:40,102 --> 00:42:43,438
indivudual science fiction stories
may seem as trivial as ever
831
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,108
to the blinder critics and philosophers of today
832
00:42:46,358 --> 00:42:48,527
but the core of science fiction,
833
00:42:48,569 --> 00:42:51,697
its essence has become crucial to our salvation
834
00:42:51,738 --> 00:42:53,866
if we are to be saved at all.