{1}{1}23.976
{7}{30}{Y:i}Previously...
{32}{70}{Y:i}on Stargate SG-1...
{71}{130}I'm not just interested in outer space.
{153}{205}I'm from outer space.
{206}{321}{Y:i}Four excellent heroes|in an extraordinary new sci-fi series,
{325}{409}{Y:i}starring Nick Marlowe as the wry Colonel Danning.
{416}{493}As a matter of fact,|it does say "Colonel" on my uniform.
{498}{548}{Y:i}Wormhole Extreme!
{560}{590}It's what I do.
{621}{656}{Y:i}He sold the idea to the studio.
{657}{732}He obviously got the whole thing from|his knowledge of the Stargate Program.
{733}{811}If the Air Force didn't want it to happen,|they wouldn't have let it go this far.
{874}{901}Come on out.
{948}{1004}{Y:i}We are the Furlings.
{1021}{1071}We thought we'd never get to meet you.
{1242}{1291}We led them straight here.
{1376}{1396}{Y:i}Sam!
{1397}{1430}I thought I could make it work.
{1431}{1512}The thermodynamic loop|is feeding back into the planet's core.
{1723}{1755}{Y:i}Well, that never happened.
{1756}{1785}{Y:i}Well, you've got to open big,
{1789}{1868}catch people's attention, make them think|the whole thing is going to be jam-packed.
{1871}{1903}I love jam!
{1947}{2061}Oh, I get it. It's yet another playful twist|on words in your "Earth" language.
{2079}{2125}It makes us look stupid.
{2136}{2180}{Y:i}You realize it's not actually us.
{2181}{2248}Okay, okay, it makes the characters look stupid.
{2255}{2326}I mean, do you really think the best way|to introduce the heroes of the story
{2327}{2384}is to show them causing a massive catastrophe?
{2385}{2428}That's... realistic.
{2430}{2457}I don't care.
{2458}{2489}Come on. It would be fun.
{2490}{2531}{Y:i}You know, you say that about everything.
{2532}{2583}Come to think of it, why am I doing this?
{2584}{2659}To make sure that the Air Force|is being properly represented,
{2660}{2785}and because General O'Neill|has requested you specifically.
{2786}{2830}Of course he did.
{2831}{2927}Jackson, how often do we get to give notes|on a big Hollywood feature script?
{2928}{2986}I believe this is intended to be a television movie.
{2987}{3068}A fictionalized, albeit slightly ridiculous version
{3069}{3184}of Stargate Command is an excellent cover|for the real thing in the event of a security leak.
{3185}{3213}Plausible deniability.
{3215}{3266}I'm sorry, Sir, did you say "slightly" ridiculous?
{3267}{3294}{Y:i}You're doing this.
{3295}{3329}{Y:i}You have no choice.
{3332}{3443}Just give the man five minutes.|I'll get you out of this when the time comes.
{3524}{3605}I've been looking through this,|and there doesn't seem to be any mention of...
{3608}{3659}a sexy female alien...
{3673}{3698}Anywhere.
{3718}{3748}I'm not even in this!
{3753}{3793}{Y:i}You know, the really unbelievable part
{3794}{3879}is that anyone would consider spending|millions of dollars on this thing.
{3881}{3965}I mean, seriously, all these writers,|and they couldn't come up with anything better?
{3966}{4084}I don't know, I've been watching a lot of|television lately, and apart from one glaring omission,
{4086}{4122}it doesn't seem to be that bad.
{4123}{4191}Maybe... we can make it better.
{4192}{4226}No, I'm with Sam on this one. I mean, who...
{4227}{4287}who makes a movie out of a series|that only lasted three episodes?
{4288}{4355}It allegedly performed well on DVD.
{4366}{4440}No, I'm not using any shots from the series.
{4445}{4511}It's a movie, not a clip show.
{4519}{4557}{Y:i}The budget is the budget.
{4558}{4642}{Y:i}They are a bunch of pencil-pushing,|bean-counting idiots.
{4643}{4698}You tell them if they don't like it,
{4705}{4761}I'm going to take it somewhere else.
{4816}{4876}You know not to say that last part, right?
{4924}{4993}Yeah, movie, not clip show, is fine.
{5006}{5057}Yeah, I've got to go.
{5076}{5098}Yeah.
{5148}{5222}Cell coverage is just terrible in here.
{5234}{5279}How's it going? You done?
{5380}{5402}{Y:i}Well, it...
{5427}{5491}certainly seems to be packed full of jam.
{5505}{5560}I knew I should have given you my first draft.
{5563}{5634}The producer brought in the other writers.
{5635}{5668}I thought you were the producer.
{5670}{5701}Yeah, the real one.
{5708}{5775}Look, just be honest.
{5776}{5843}I trust you guys. That's why I'm here.
{5844}{5897}Just tell me what you think.
{5999}{6051}{Y:i}Come on, you must have some ideas.
{6054}{6167}Don't be afraid. Just pitch them out.|We call it "spinning"!
{6168}{6228}Don't worry. No one's going to judge you.
{6250}{6309}Okay, for starters,
{6310}{6381}I think you need a strong opening title sequence.
{6382}{6414}Are you serious?
{6415}{6451}No one does that anymore.
{6452}{6505}You just throw up the title and get on with it.
{6508}{6600}Transcript by Tara Pathirana / sadgeezer.com|Subtitles by SG-66 - www.seriestele.net
{6646}{6709}Season 10|200th Episode
{7223}{7269}Walter! Dial 447!
{7284}{7369}The only way to stop this is|to get the device back to the planet.
{7737}{7816}Look, no offense, but...
{7817}{7887}Zombies have been done to death.
{7909}{7959}No... pun intended.
{7962}{8033}{Y:i}Besides, this is science-fiction, not horror.
{8034}{8121}Did I mention the Tel'Chak device?|'Cause that's what turned them into zombies.
{8122}{8152}Oh, sorry.
{8159}{8191}{Y:i}Go for Marty.
{8201}{8273}Oh, hey, Charlie. What's up?
{8279}{8318}It's the studio.
{8339}{8372}{Y:i}What kind of problem?
{8375}{8494}Just out of curiosity, what was the rest of the team|doing while your character was fighting the zombies?
{8614}{8661}{Y:i}Son of a bitch!
{8679}{8715}Studio executives...?
{8716}{8769}What? Oh, no, Charlie...
{8770}{8801}He's a great guy.
{8809}{8841}He's the only one I trust.
{8853}{8900}So, what's the problem, then?
{8903}{8941}Our lead backed out.
{8942}{9018}How am I supposed to tell a story|without my lead character?
{9019}{9089}Easy. You just bring in a character to replace him.
{9200}{9222}What?
{9241}{9271}{Y:i}You guys have to help me.
{9276}{9365}{Y:i}I mean, how can I keep the main character in the story
{9366}{9455}without actually having the actor who plays him?
{9456}{9546}Well, you could have the other characters|refer to him all the time,
{9548}{9604}maybe get him on the phone once in a while.
{9605}{9705}Oh, yeah, right. I mean something cool, like...
{9720}{9812}{Y:i}Face-switching or... body-swapping?
{9817}{9862}As if anyone would believe that.
{9888}{9988}Come on, you guys must have some|real-life experiences I can draw on.
{9996}{10087}Oh, well, there was that time|that Colonel O'Neill was invisible.
{10114}{10157}{Y:i}So, essentially what I think happened
{10158}{10263}is that you were bombarded by the particle field|being emanated by the cloaking generator.
{10264}{10366}See, you were in the engine room standing right|next to it when the device was turned on.
{10372}{10463}That would account for the minor traces|of radiation we've been picking up from you. But...
{10465}{10489}the good news is
{10490}{10548}I think I've found a way to reverse the process.
{10549}{10621}We have to go back to the mothership|and get the cloaking generator.
{10622}{10655}Sam, who are you talking to?
{10656}{10743}Oh, Colonel O'Neill. I was just explaining to him|how we're going to make him visible again.
{10744}{10771}No, you're not.
{10803}{10833}Jack's in...
{10839}{10875}Hammond's office.
{10879}{10920}I can't believe he did that to me again.
{10921}{10953}Yeah.|You know, getting that
{10954}{11061}cloaking generator off that mothership that's gonna be|the least of our problems. Now, getting Jack to help...
{11062}{11105}that's going to be the hard part.
{11118}{11164}- Oh, don't tell me...|- Oh, yes.
{11165}{11212}He likes being invisible.
{11468}{11534}{Y:i}And so, by translating this tablet,
{11537}{11658}we should be able to determine|the most important thing in the universe.
{11867}{11918}Does everyone just want to poke around,
{11925}{11964}see if you can find him?
{11994}{12013}Sir...
{12023}{12055}are you there?
{12149}{12170}{Y:i}Nope.
{12216}{12266}You cannot remain this way, O'Neill.
{12267}{12291}{Y:i}Why not?
{12307}{12367}{Y:i}It gives us an advantage over the Goa'uld.
{12372}{12462}{Y:i}I can sneak around all I want totally undetected.
{12471}{12493}{Y:i}I...
{12501}{12562}{Y:i}give us the element of surprise.
{12563}{12602}{Y:i}The bottom line is
{12613}{12660}{Y:i}I can do more for this planet,
{12661}{12763}{Y:i}invisible than I ever could|as my own sweet salient self.
{12845}{12909}I assume I am staring at you stoically.
{12958}{13012}{y:i}- Not buying it...?|- No.
{13019}{13074}You are most transparent, O'Neill.
{13107}{13156}{Y:i}Oh, I get it.
{13167}{13196}{Y:i}Good one.
{13197}{13241}I can see right through you.
{13252}{13285}{Y:i}Don't push it.
{13899}{13924}{Y:i}Hello?
{13925}{13959}{Y:i}Hand signals.
{13969}{14014}{Y:i}I'm waving you over.
{14080}{14178}Okay, I've made the necessary adjustments.|All I have to do now is initiate the sequence.
{14198}{14221}{Y:i}Okay.
{14242}{14265}{Y:i}Let's do it.
{14435}{14461}{Y:i}Oh, yeah.
{14472}{14501}{Y:i}This is better.
{14514}{14595}It might feel like kind of a cheat.
{14614}{14702}Maybe it's best just not to mention the guy at all.
{14712}{14832}Yeah... besides, invisibility can be very powerful.
{14833}{14893}You might not want to open that can of worms.
{14894}{14965}You don't want your heroes to become too powerful.
{14966}{15043}Well, you could always invent|some negative side-effects.
{15059}{15135}That's how we talked|Colonel O'Neill into becoming visible again.
{15136}{15217}Okay, that's it.|SG-1, you are cleared to leave.
{15218}{15237}Thank you.
{15238}{15292}They can't leave!|They haven't finished reading my script!
{15293}{15360}That's funny,|I thought it said "General" on my uniform.
{15361}{15411}- We owe you one, Sir.|- You mean another one.
{15430}{15488}What are you talking about?|I thought you said it was gonna be fun.
{15492}{15541}Not after his zombie idea got shot down.
{15542}{15597}So, where are you guys all off to?
{15605}{15658}Some place pretty important...?
{15665}{15713}It's just a recon mission, isn't it?
{15714}{15839}Just a recon mission? This is no simple recon mission.|This is no less than my 200th trip through the Gate.
{15840}{15862}Really?
{15863}{15899}- You're counting?|- You bet.
{15900}{15975}I have been reflecting while changing into our gear...
{15979}{16052}I believe this is far from your 200th mission,|Colonel Mitchell.
{16053}{16157}I didn't say 200th mission.|I said 200th trip through the Gate. That's counting...
{16158}{16250}off-world Gates, back and forth,|pretty much any time I crossed the event horizon.
{16257}{16329}Yeah...|this is gonna be huge...
{16330}{16379}the big 2-0-0.
{16700}{16719}Fix it.
{16720}{16738}Quickly.
{16739}{16761}I'm on it.
{16778}{16809}Indeed.
{16943}{17042}We've got to go! We've got 10 seconds|before the time dilation field is activated.
{17043}{17110}If we don't make it through the Gate,|we'll be stuck here forever!
{17232}{17270}Okay, this could be a problem.
{17299}{17336}That was close...?
{17341}{17366}Oh yeah.
{17374}{17401}{Y:i}Are you serious?
{17402}{17422}{Y:i}What?
{17423}{17459}How did we escape?
{17473}{17492}They.
{17493}{17564}Fine, they. They, they, they.|How did they escape?
{17588}{17619}Isn't it obvious?
{17620}{17681}Even if the valley wasn't filled with Jaffa,
{17682}{17752}we could never have made it|to the Gate and dialed out in under...
{17762}{17784}10 seconds.
{17785}{17795}Good.
{17796}{17841}See, that's why we're here.
{17842}{17866}So, what do you think?
{17867}{17896}30 seconds?
{17904}{17960}{Y:i}May... maybe not such a round number.
{17964}{17984}How about...
{17997}{18023}Thirty eight?
{18024}{18129}What difference does it make?|I mean, it's not like you're gonna have|an actual ticking clock on the screen.
{18131}{18166}That's brilliant!
{18170}{18201}That's ridiculous.
{18202}{18223}{Y:i}Trust me.
{18224}{18296}Jeopardy plus ticking clock is box office.
{18297}{18362}It's the e = mc2 of the entertainment world.
{18364}{18399}{Y:i}Ask any executive.
{18400}{18485}Except I think|you've replaced jeopardy with certain death.
{18487}{18506}Oh, come on,
{18507}{18593}you guys have escaped|situations more dire than this before.
{18602}{18629}He has a point.
{18630}{18705}- So show the actual escape.|{y:i}- Oh, no, no, no.
{18706}{18805}You can't give away too much too early.|It'll step on the ending.
{18806}{18864}{Y:i}Maybe if my character doesn't say,
{18865}{18921}"this is a problem."|He could say something like,
{18932}{19000}- "this should be easy."|- How many times do I have to tell you?
{19002}{19036}It's not you.
{19039}{19071}{Y:i}Colonel Danning...
{19076}{19119}{Y:i}is based on Colonel O'Neill.
{19209}{19270}Please tell me you have the Gate working again.
{19271}{19332}We're running another diagnostic,|but right now, we're stumped.
{19337}{19431}The power's getting through to the capacitors,|but for some reason, the charge isn't holding.
{19436}{19507}That's causing the control crystal|to send feedback into the interface
{19508}{19585}and reset the programming code|of the base computer's dialing protocol.
{19629}{19658}{Y:i}That was awesome.
{19659}{19689}Say that again.
{19713}{19734}No.
{19790}{19882}Everybody, take five.|I've got to get that down before I forget it.
{19883}{19944}{Y:i}The power getting to the flux capacitor, but
{19945}{20058}{Y:i}feedback is not feeding back into the feedback face.|This is gold!
{20059}{20074}Hey.
{20109}{20144}Forget about the techno-talk.
{20145}{20186}No one's really interested in it.
{20214}{20269}- You're an alien, right?|- Exactly,
{20270}{20312}and I know just what this movie needs.
{20313}{20421}So how would you know what sci-fi fans|from Earth would be interested in?
{20438}{20473}Aren't you also an alien?
{20479}{20540}Yeah, but I've been here quite a while.
{20541}{20564}Right. Look,
{20565}{20631}I think I know a good story when I hear one.
{20632}{20702}Don't you want this movie to appeal|to a broad range of people?
{20703}{20732}From Earth.
{20733}{20881}I have all kinds of fabulous adventures,|none of which have been classified by the Air Force.
{20903}{20959}Okay, shoot. Give me your best one.
{20960}{20974}Right.
{20975}{21040}I was in a stolen cargo ship on my way home
{21041}{21154}{Y:i}when a solar flare from a nearby star wreaked havoc|with my navigation system, and I was forced
{21155}{21199}to crash-land on the nearest planet.
{21200}{21238}In a bizarre twist of fate,
{21239}{21320}{Y:i}I crashed right on top of|the Goa'uld who ruled that planet,
{21321}{21418}{Y:i}which was fortunate because my ship was too badly|damaged to repair, and I needed help.
{21440}{21496}{Y:i}The local villagers were very grateful.
{21523}{21651}{Y:i}They introduced me to a lovely fair-haired Tok'ra|who had been hiding out on the planet.
{21652}{21767}{Y:i}She told me the legend of a powerful ascended being|who supposedly lived in some distant,
{21768}{21858}{Y:i}- far-off mountains through a treacherous forest.|- Look, I don't have all day.
{21859}{21898}- Cut to the chase.|- All right,
{21899}{22011}I met up with a number of my friends along the way,|and after a dangerous and eventful journey,
{22012}{22095}we finally come face to face with the ascended being.
{22101}{22154}What can I do for you?
{22155}{22231}Well, at first I thought I just wanted to go home but
{22232}{22301}now I've decided I'd quite like|to be a part of something...
{22318}{22396}a regular part, if you catch my drift.
{22416}{22505}Oh, and... these guys have their own issues. Boys?
{22763}{22821}That's the Wizard of Oz.
{22878}{22911}You've seen that one?
{22912}{22945}Yeah.
{22948}{22997}Oh, that's my phone.
{22998}{23034}Martin Lloyd.
{23035}{23070}I didn't hear it ring.
{23071}{23113}It's on... vibrate.
{23114}{23151}{Y:i}Yes, go ahead.
{23152}{23193}I can sing.
{23272}{23306}So how's it going?
{23311}{23342}Not well.
{23343}{23393}Samantha, 200 is waiting.
{23394}{23481}Right now, I'm just hoping we haven't done|something to permanently damage the Gate.
{23482}{23584}How can something work perfectly fine for 10 years,|then all of a sudden it doesn't work anymore?
{23585}{23618}I don't know.
{23619}{23657}Okay, try it now.
{23727}{23801}We're getting some strange|power readings here, Colonel.
{23815}{23841}Shut it down.
{23880}{23908}It's not responding.
{23909}{23980}The Gate's drawing massive amounts of energy|into its capacitors.
{23981}{24031}Close the blast door and the iris.
{24245}{24281}I can't shut it down.
{24293}{24348}Siler, manually cut the power!
{24611}{24686}Why does this always happen to me?
{24704}{24752}Sir, we have to evacuate the base!
{24773}{24857}This is General Landry.|I'm declaring a code red emergency.
{24858}{24922}All personnel, evacuate the base immediately.
{24932}{25000}Sir, the capacitors are overloading.|We have to get out of here now.
{25001}{25021}Hurry.
{25198}{25285}And that is the end of act two.
{25354}{25391}The mountain blows up?
{25392}{25440}No possible hope for survival.
{25441}{25460}Cool...?
{25461}{25526}I just wrote it,|based on what's going on with the Gate.
{25527}{25593}I love it when art imitates life.
{25594}{25619}Hang on...
{25626}{25675}we're alive in the next scene.
{25676}{25731}Oh, I just haven't fixed that part yet.
{25732}{25845}I'm thinking I can back-sell it and say|you were beamed out at the last second.
{25846}{25872}{Y:i}Beamed out?
{25873}{25902}Sure. Why not?
{25903}{25947}Is that not too convenient?
{25948}{25989}Not if you hang a lantern on it.
{25990}{26009}What's that?
{26010}{26043}It's a writer's term.
{26044}{26138}Another character points out how convenient it is.
{26139}{26184}{Y:i}Dr. Levant can say,
{26190}{26243}{Y:i}"Wow, that was great timing."
{26244}{26392}That way, the audience knows|I intended for it to be convenient, and we move on.
{26402}{26431}Really.
{26434}{26475}Okay, where were we?
{26476}{26515}Scene 24.
{26516}{26537}{Y:i}Oh, great,
{26538}{26580}one of my favorite scenes.
{26584}{26614}Go ahead.
{26720}{26751}Interior, bridge.
{26774}{26816}{Y:i}The crew mans their stations...
{26817}{26876}I'm picking up a strange energy anomaly, Colonel.
{26877}{26926}It appears the singularity is about to explode.
{26927}{26957}Weapons are at maximum.
{26958}{27007}Dammit, Captain! Solar flare.
{27008}{27054}We've got a shock wave heading straight for us.
{27055}{27123}Can you reverse the... polarity?
{27124}{27157}I'll do my best.
{27181}{27208}Engine room...
{27209}{27249}warp speed!
{27250}{27281}{Y:i}Take us out of here...
{27282}{27309}{Y:i}now.
{27335}{27439}I'm giving it all I've got, Captain,|but you're expecting a bloody miracle.
{27440}{27462}{Y:i}Hang on, hang on.
{27463}{27481}What?
{27482}{27510}Okay, one...
{27514}{27564}that's Star Trek. And two...
{27565}{27599}it's ridiculous.
{27600}{27633}What's wrong with it?
{27634}{27696}"The singularity is about to explode?"
{27697}{27722}Yes.
{27723}{27773}Everything about that statement is wrong.
{27774}{27853}How exactly is having weapons at maximum|going to help the situation?
{27854}{27910}The audience isn't gonna know the difference.
{27911}{27993}They love "weapons at maximum."
{27994}{28094}Never underestimate your audience.|They're generally sensitive, intelligent people
{28095}{28165}who respond positively to quality entertainment.
{28166}{28260}{y:i}I do not understand why everything in this script|must inevitably explode.
{28261}{28418}{y:i}Look, you guys may all know how things really work|out there in the galaxy, but I know the film business.
{28419}{28488}Explosions make great trailers.
{28489}{28525}{Y:i}Simple fact.
{28526}{28559}{Y:i}More explosions,
{28560}{28589}{Y:i}better trailer.
{28590}{28615}{Y:i}Better trailer,
{28616}{28667}more viewers.
{28757}{28805}Yeah, go for Marty.
{28822}{28867}Oh, hey, Nora.
{28882}{28905}{Y:i}What?
{28920}{28963}{Y:i}That's ridiculous.
{28968}{29015}{Y:i}Tell them to stop panicking.
{29016}{29053}{Y:i}We're gonna sign him.
{29054}{29079}{Y:i}Don't worry.
{29080}{29132}{Y:i}I already put in a call in to his manager.
{29133}{29182}{Y:i}We'll get back to you.
{29186}{29224}Yeah. Bye.
{29256}{29306}So... trouble with Nora.
{29307}{29346}{Y:i}No. Nora...|she's great.
{29347}{29416}But since Nick Marlowe is holding out,
{29418}{29518}one of the new junior executives|at the network has suggested
{29519}{29630}we re-cast the whole movie with|younger, edgier versions of the team.
{29631}{29675}Can you imagine that?
{29946}{29992}Yo, dawg,|what'd you do that for?
{29993}{30051}Dude, that hot chick was|so totally a Goa'uld!
{30052}{30096}Duh. I was still gonna tap that.
{30097}{30139}You don't appreciate me, do you?
{30145}{30210}I think you're so totally awesome.
{30280}{30324}That's what I'm talkin' about.
{30382}{30470}Yo, wonderbread,|you got that address figured out yet?
{30499}{30522}Chill, T.
{30523}{30596}I'm, like,|translating as fast as I can.
{30610}{30687}I'm so sick of being treated like some|sort of object to be worshiped.
{30689}{30738}I'm a real person with real feelings.
{30739}{30762}You know,
{30799}{30857}I don't think Mitchell likes me anymore.
{30859}{30896}I'm pregnant.
{30952}{30974}No.
{30984}{31010}Nope.
{31076}{31114}I need a latte.
{31166}{31184}How about this one?
{31185}{31274}We were in a cloaked cargo ship on a simple,|three-hour reconnaissance mission...
{31275}{31319}Gilligan's island, right?
{31320}{31381}You got that from|"three-hour reconnaissance mission"?
{31382}{31408}Piece of advice...
{31409}{31445}if you're gonna rip something off,
{31446}{31500}think of something a little more obscure.
{31501}{31529}Oh, okay.
{31554}{31574}Call me fahrbot,
{31579}{31632}but they gonna have our mivonks|on a platter if we don't...
{31642}{31680}starburst the draz out of here.
{31681}{31735}The cluster's been damaged,|we're not going anywhere.
{31784}{31826}Oh, dren.
{31834}{31864}Hezmana!
{31912}{31943}Frell!
{31963}{32010}Son of a hazmot!
{32030}{32055}Yotz!
{32106}{32149}Okay, you got me.
{32150}{32214}I have no idea what that is.
{32227}{32298}Oh, for crying out loud,|what now?
{32324}{32380}Oh, give me a break!
{32426}{32497}I just a got a text message from the studio.
{32498}{32581}The foreign distributor went bankrupt.|They're slashing my budget.
{32584}{32620}In a text message?
{32621}{32690}This totally screws up the end of act three.
{32692}{32736}What happens at the end of act three?
{32738}{32784}With these cuts, not much.
{32788}{32825}Act three just ends.
{32883}{32917}What's so bad about this?
{32918}{32964}Any idea when we'll be able to go?
{32965}{32995}Sorry.
{32996}{33061}We're trying a full reset of the system, Sir.
{33175}{33212}If you want this to be more accurate,
{33213}{33254}why don't you just give him your mission files?
{33255}{33281}They're classified.
{33282}{33367}So? Didn't you say that no one on your planet|would believe this was all real anyway?
{33368}{33432}Even still, do you know how many|mission files there are?
{33434}{33490}{Y:i}1,263,
{33501}{33550}hopefully 64 by the end of the day.
{33551}{33620}Actually, it's 1,264 already.
{33621}{33704}No, it's 63, pretty sure.|I've read all the files recently.
{33705}{33777}Actually, you haven't read 30185.
{33795}{33847}30185?
{33870}{33892}What's that?
{33909}{33940}We can't tell you.
{33952}{34003}What do you mean you can't tell me?
{34004}{34062}I have the highest security clearance|known to mankind. What...
{34063}{34124}what is 30185?
{34126}{34174}We were sworn to secrecy.
{34209}{34288}Well, why even mention it to me if you're|not going to tell me what it is?
{34304}{34332}Sorry.
{34335}{34390}- Can you tell me?|- Oh, yeah, we can tell you.
{34398}{34490}It has to do with the time that|the Gate sent us back to 1969.
{34497}{34570}Well, that can't have anything to do with me.|I wasn't born till a year later.
{34571}{34647}Actually, it was nine months|before he was born.
{34649}{34674}What?
{34676}{34735}You have to remember it was the '60s.
{34770}{34795}{Y:i}Come on...
{34805}{34897}you have to have known that Jack's|always taken an interest in your life.
{34903}{34925}{Y:i}Jack?
{34929}{34958}O'Neill?
{34980}{35009}Indeed.
{35032}{35136}{Y:i}Do you remember when you were chosen for the 302|program even though you didn't think you should get in?
{35138}{35190}How about when you were chosen for SG-1?
{35212}{35240}Wait, are you saying that...
{35242}{35289}- Jack O'Neill is...|- My daddy?
{35292}{35362}All starting to make sense now, isn't it?
{35435}{35491}Oh, I'm being punk'd, aren't I?
{35493}{35568}We honestly can't tell you about 30185.
{35599}{35630}{Y:i}I can't believe it!
{35635}{35738}The whole cast heard Marlowe is holding out for|more money, and now they're all joining in.
{35757}{35806}Where do they think it comes from?
{35852}{35920}How am I supposed to do a movie|without any actors?
{35922}{35942}{Y:i}Carter...
{35946}{36066}correct me if I'm wrong on this,but is it not a fact|of parallel dimension physics that each of us exists
{36067}{36147}{Y:i}somewhere in some universe in whatever way,|shape, or form we can imagine?
{36148}{36224}Any way, shape, or form we can imagine.|We've seen it for ourselves.
{36230}{36261}There you go.
{36289}{36325}Use your imagination.
{36566}{36599}All right, people.
{36600}{36764}We created this multi-billion dollar facility under|cheyenne mountain so that we can use this thing...
{36791}{36830}anyone know how?
{36941}{37013}Sir, we thought you knew.
{37026}{37060}I do know this...
{37066}{37116}we need to put together a team,
{37119}{37246}starting with the most beautiful,|battle-ready scientific genius I know...
{37254}{37348}- Captain Doctor Samantha Carter.|- Reporting for duty, Sir.
{37349}{37396}What can you tell us, Captain?
{37454}{37558}Well, at first glance, I suspect the device creates|a stable wormhole between superconducting rings
{37559}{37660}that have been placed in fixed positions elsewhere...|... converts matter into energy at the event horizon...
{37661}{37715}once the initial vortex has subsided, of course...
{37716}{37766}and just because my sex organs are on the inside
{37767}{37816}instead of the outside doesn't|mean that I can't handle...
{37817}{37888}provided, of course, that sufficient energy|has been channeled to the device
{37889}{37945}and that the correct coordinates have been calculated.
{37987}{38034}Okay, get to it.
{38062}{38191}Next, we need a bookworm adventurer who|can say "brains" and "guts" in 27 languages...
{38192}{38230}Dr. Daniel Jackson.
{38231}{38290}Why have I been brought here? This is not...
{38344}{38381}What is that?
{38382}{38426}The reason you're here, Doctor.
{38427}{38462}This big ring...
{38463}{38544}was discovered in the sands of Egypt near giza.
{38577}{38608}Then I was right.
{38622}{38772}The pyramids really were landing sites for|interplanetary starships that enslaved primitive|human populations by posing as their gods.
{38789}{38811}Well...
{38812}{38864}we found the ring in the sand.
{38870}{38920}These symbols, they look familiar.
{38934}{38986}They're like constellations. Don't you see?
{38995}{39019}Here.
{39080}{39164}If each symbol represents a specific point in space,
{39165}{39251}{Y:i}then six of them would create a sort of box.
{39252}{39295}{Y:i}The intersection point between those six points
{39296}{39343}would indicate a destination.
{39344}{39392}Maybe, just maybe,
{39393}{39469}the seventh marks the starting point.
{39470}{39530}Is there a monitor that shows these symbols in detail?
{39532}{39573}Over here, Dr. Jackson.
{39751}{39775}{Y:i}Wait.
{39782}{39822}This one seems different.
{39836}{39874}{Y:i}You found the ring in egypt...
{39875}{39916}the pyramid represents Earth.
{39917}{39968}This symbol has to be the point of origin.
{39970}{40029}It was under our noses the whole time.
{40042}{40089}I feel so stupid.
{40102}{40156}And now what this team needs is a leader,
{40157}{40234}someone who'll laugh in the face of his enemy,
{40235}{40295}even when it's inappropriate.
{40310}{40349}Colonel Jack O'Neill.
{40361}{40408}I thought I told you I retired.
{40448}{40503}I thought you said you were tired.
{40544}{40614}Well, as a matter of fact, I am a little tired.
{40615}{40664}There's no time for that now.
{40665}{40718}You have a mission to lead.
{40722}{40750}Right!
{40799}{40821}Sergeant?
{40822}{40857}Make it spin.
{40863}{40892}Spin?
{40920}{40957}Sir, it doesn't spin.
{40961}{40985}What?
{40992}{41043}It has to spin. It's round.
{41049}{41116}{Y:i}Spinning is so much cooler than not spinning.
{41119}{41153}I'm the General.
{41154}{41190}I want it to spin.
{41191}{41215}Now!
{41216}{41248}Yes, Sir.
{41338}{41381}Hey, look at that.
{41494}{41545}Chevron one is lit up.
{41546}{41594}I wonder what we're going to find on the other side.
{41595}{41640}Whatever it is, I'll bet it's amazing.
{41641}{41671}Well, don't get too excited.
{41672}{41715}It's just a simple recon.
{41716}{41776}Aren't you the least bit|curious about what's out there?
{41777}{41837}Well, I'm just hoping|we find some new meat for the team,
{41838}{41916}preferably something bald,
{41921}{41957}mysterious...
{41964}{42017}you know the warrior type with lots of,
{42018}{42063}you know, muscles...
{42064}{42170}Sir, the odds against any alien lifeforms|we encounter looking remotely human are
{42175}{42207}astronomical.
{42208}{42236}Yeah, well...
{42269}{42298}we'll see.
{42374}{42406}Chevron seven...
{42407}{42449}also lit up.
{42630}{42647}Holy...
{42648}{42710}Colonel O'Neill, you have a go.
{42711}{42743}Godspeed.
{42748}{42792}Easy for him to say.
{43006}{43042}Okay,
{43062}{43126}we're all going to do this together on three, right?
{43139}{43166}Okay?
{43174}{43201}Okay.
{43217}{43243}One...
{43272}{43286}two...
{43287}{43311}three!
{43501}{43555}Dear god in heaven.
{43602}{43677}I feel so stupid.
{43985}{44050}Yeah, that'll work.
{44051}{44101}A whole movie made with puppets.
{44102}{44169}- Hey, I'm just saying...|{y:i}- Maybe we can have puppet O'Neill
{44170}{44215}jump over a puppet shark
{44216}{44270}on a one-third scale motorcycle.
{44297}{44324}I don't get it.
{44325}{44384}Look, you don't know the business like I do.
{44385}{44430}I don't have any money,
{44431}{44534}so I have to give the actors something else.
{44537}{44565}Bigger trailers?
{44566}{44607}I can't afford that either.
{44608}{44645}No, I have to give them something
{44646}{44742}that costs me nothing but no actor can refuse.
{44743}{44772}And what's that?
{44773}{44828}A good ego stroking.
{44829}{44860}{Y:i}I have to make them think
{44861}{44918}{Y:i}that I re-wrote the script just for them.
{44919}{45005}In this draft, there has to be something|that makes them want to do this movie
{45006}{45044}even if it's for scale.
{45045}{45066}You know,
{45067}{45117}we've been trying here.
{45127}{45161}You're not listening.
{45162}{45221}I'm talking about a twist,
{45222}{45264}something nobody's expecting.
{45265}{45315}{Y:i}You mean something like this?
{45524}{45577}I don't think anyone will see that coming.
{45578}{45612}No, but there'll be spoilers.
{45613}{45636}Are you kidding?
{45637}{45679}It'll be in the commercial.
{45758}{45806}{Y:i}When it comes to fighting crime,
{45807}{45872}{Y:i}there's only one man keepin' the streets safe...
{45873}{45916}{Y:i}while keepin' it real.
{46017}{46050}Indeed.
{46051}{46084}{Y:i}Teal'c P.I.
{46087}{46124}{Y:i}Coming this fall.
{46148}{46178}I love it.
{46229}{46286}I'm just not sure if the network...
{46287}{46348}but I'll pitch it to them next week and...
{46349}{46415}and we'll see what they think...
{46435}{46492}Oh, I have to get that.
{46493}{46540}We'll talk later.
{46546}{46577}You got Marty.
{46578}{46622}So what brings you this way, Sir?
{46652}{46737}What, a guy can't just stop by from Malibu to say, hi?
{46738}{46765}Malibu?
{46766}{46787}{Y:i}Sure.
{46804}{46847}I was there on business.
{46853}{46870}Exactly, Sir.
{46871}{46948}You're an Air Force General|with enormous responsibilities.
{46969}{47051}Ostensibly, I just stopped by|to see how you were doing with Marty.
{47130}{47197}Well, truth be known that...
{47205}{47284}lately I've been feeling a little...
{47294}{47318}what...
{47319}{47357}how do I say it?
{47375}{47430}It's okay to say that you missed us, Sir.
{47431}{47460}No, not that.
{47461}{47511}Like you have unfinished business?
{47512}{47536}Okay.
{47562}{47593}{Y:i}You need closure,
{47594}{47636}and I have the perfect thing.
{47645}{47734}We were about to go on a mission to|commemorate my 200th trip through the Gate.
{47735}{47761}Really?
{47768}{47806}200, you say?
{47817}{47893}That's 200 times he's stepped through the Gate, Sir,
{47894}{47938}not actual missions.
{47939}{47968}{Y:i}To be honest,
{47969}{48058}I wouldn't mind one last jaunt through the old orifice.
{48168}{48196}What?
{48229}{48285}We call it that sometimes don't we?
{48307}{48342}Orifice?
{48353}{48408}Stupid focus groups!
{48409}{48446}They hate the ending.
{48447}{48490}I have to think of something new.
{48491}{48525}They could go fishing.
{48536}{48558}Fishing?
{48559}{48600}Yeah, it would be the perfect ending.
{48609}{48640}I mean, after that,
{48641}{48723}anything else would seem... pointless.
{48760}{48790}This is great.
{48815}{48847}I told you.
{48964}{49031}Yup, it's good to be here.
{49054}{49096}You weren't there.
{49121}{49185}So, what's the twist?
{49186}{49220}No fish?
{49239}{49308}I need something with more impact,
{49309}{49353}something more...
{49360}{49392}moving.
{49435}{49480}Everyone loves a wedding.
{49776}{49864}It's just a summer cold, Sir.
{49906}{49937}A bit of a wait.
{49938}{49974}Indeed.
{50088}{50119}You know if she doesn't show,
{50120}{50190}people are going to think that you and I are...
{50224}{50257}What?
{50678}{50708}Nice entrance.
{50710}{50743}Sorry, Sir.
{50752}{50779}Carter...
{50804}{50836}Jack.
{50861}{50891}Thank you.
{50902}{50944}Shall we begin?
{51049}{51082}{Y:i}Yeah, right,
{51083}{51163}if I want to torture the audience on purpose.
{51164}{51211}The Gate is back up and running.
{51216}{51233}General.
{51238}{51258}General.
{51274}{51304}With permission...?
{51464}{51534}but I still don't have my ending!
{51822}{51875}You keep these kids out of trouble, Jack.
{51922}{51965}Here's an idea, Hank.
{51975}{52016}Why don't you come along with us?
{52056}{52079}- No, seriously.|- I don't think so.
{52080}{52105}Yeah, come on.
{52119}{52205}It'll be kind of like a special occasion deal.
{52256}{52295}Aw, what the hell.
{52296}{52321}Hey, Walter!
{52322}{52372}Come on, we're all going.
{52382}{52422}I don't have the right outfit.
{52423}{52459}You look fine!
{52844}{52875}Everything ready?
{52909}{52960}SGs 3 through 18 are waiting, Sir.
{52961}{52988}The cake?
{52996}{53027}It's all set.
{53034}{53089}Balloons, streamers, the works.
{53093}{53112}{Y:i}All right,
{53113}{53200}let's go check out the mysteries of P2C-106.
{53268}{53303}Hey, Marty.
{53312}{53351}Why don't you come with us?
{53360}{53436}Maybe find a little inspiration for the "end"
{53437}{53493}of your little "movie."
{53494}{53519}{Y:i}I can't.
{53520}{53597}I just heard from the studio.|The movie's been canceled.
{53625}{53676}Oh, there's some heartbreak.
{53677}{53705}Oh, that's too bad.
{53706}{53733}{Y:i}Not for me.
{53745}{53810}They decided to renew the series instead!
{53893}{53923}Okay.
{53945}{53980}Let's move out.
{54353}{54386}{Y:i}And...cut!
{54435}{54465}....
{54477}{54508}Good job, Doug.
{54519}{54533}Ocean.
{54534}{54556}Thanks.
{54561}{54596}Well, that wasn't so bad.
{54597}{54707}And that's a cut everybody.|That is a wrap on the 200th episode!
{54740}{54790}Nice job, everybody.
{54840}{54930}So... did you ever think|a show like this would go on for 200?
{54931}{54964}Well, sure.
{54974}{55038}What do you mean a show like this?
{55093}{55129}Martin Lloyd.
{55141}{55165}Yeah.
{55193}{55229}Are you kidding?
{55257}{55294}Hey, everybody.
{55298}{55326}Guess what.
{55333}{55385}The movie's back on!
{55513}{55549}Ten seasons,
{55553}{55638}seven saturn awards for best cable
{55639}{55718}or syndication science fiction show...
{55739}{55784}who would have guessed?
{55798}{55847}I think first and foremost it has to do,
{55848}{55887}you know with the writing.
{55918}{55946}Obviously,
{55951}{56017}we don't take ourselves too seriously...
{56018}{56061}Oh, the writers are really great guys,
{56062}{56091}all of them.
{56114}{56152}Men... you know.
{56158}{56209}Yeah it's a bit of a boys' club.
{56210}{56316}The real challenge was coming up|with a good catch phrase.
{56331}{56408}"It's what I do."
{56418}{56500}"It's what I do."
{56514}{56558}That was so...
{56565}{56590}you know...
{56600}{56632}good.
{56639}{56691}It defined Colonel Danning.
{56695}{56768}I just don't think they know what|they want to do with my character.
{56774}{56826}I probably should have taken up golf
{56827}{56881}a long time ago.
{56905}{56961}Just... just kidding.
{56962}{57051}And I needed something even better to make
{57052}{57195}you forget about the guy that fans loved|to watch for the first seven years of the show.
{57200}{57245}I know he was here for eight but,
{57246}{57375}you know a lot of people say he just|kind of phoned it in that last season.
{57376}{57467}Yeah, well, that's ancient history.|We don't talk about that around here.
{57468}{57503}The fact of the matter is,
{57504}{57553}I don't really even know what happened there.
{57554}{57618}You know, to me,|it never felt like I was leaving the show.
{57619}{57713}I just needed a little space, a little time, you know?|I wanted to get back to my roots... theater.
{57714}{57773}So I go to new york. Did a little Broadway,
{57774}{57793}off-off-Broadway.
{57794}{57832}Either way it doesn't matter. It was acting, you know,
{57833}{57942}acting without having people hurling|papier-mache boulders at you all *** day.
{57943}{57991}It was great, you know. I like 'em both.
{57992}{58022}I like boulders I'm fine with that.
{58023}{58118}This production runs like a well-oiled machine and...
{58119}{58179}sure that starts from the top but, I mean,
{58180}{58244}we all love the show...
{58245}{58325}the gaffers, the lighting guy,
{58326}{58393}the medic, makeup,
{58394}{58427}and the caterers.
{58428}{58455}It's like a family.
{58456}{58524}The writers were trying to come up with a catch phrase.
{58549}{58616}"I can get behind that!"
{58617}{58675}Was something we tried for a while.
{58677}{58700}Anyway, I mean,
{58701}{58774}I'd actually like to do some writing...
{58804}{58825}maybe have a baby?
{58846}{58894}It just hit me.
{58932}{59055}"Sweet *** *** ***"
{59081}{59135}And we can get away with that too because
{59136}{59159}it's cable.
{59168}{59237}You can't get there without the fans, right.|I have to thank them.
{59238}{59295}I've got to thank specifically the ones...
{59296}{59335}oh, god, what's it called?
{59340}{59381}The... SaveDr.Levant.com.
{59382}{59407}Have you seen the site?
{59408}{59423}I mean, it's insane.
{59424}{59513}Apparently they get dozens of hits a month,|whatever I think that's a lot.
{59514}{59607}But between them and|the ad in Variety that they put out,
{59608}{59690}I'm pretty sure that went a long way towards|convincing the producers to take me back...
{59691}{59731}have me... to invite me back.
{59733}{59767}It wasn't their decision
{59768}{59792}you know, they called,
{59793}{59836}said, "do you want it?"|You know, and I was ready.
{59837}{59939}What I think really makes the show what it is
{59948}{60082}is the chemistry with the cast.
{60087}{60134}Yeah, oh, could you hold on?
{60135}{60172}Stop the tape.
{60173}{60223}Who does he think he is?
{60232}{60351}Well, you tell that ungrateful|*** *** bag to shove it up his *** ***.
{60352}{60456}Yeah, yeah, let him try|to get a job that pays this much.
{60516}{60581}You weren't rolling, were...
{60584}{60598}okay.
{60628}{60649}What...
{60650}{60674}what was I saying?
{60675}{60745}Oh, oh, yes, the cast.
{60776}{60931}Holy *** *** *** ***
{60955}{61006}that would be like a nineteen.
{61007}{61056}That's it you're good?|Right.
{61065}{61115}Can I get my *** sandwich please?
{61138}{61175}Right, many thanks man.
{61185}{61254}Science fiction is a existential metaphor.
{61255}{61335}It allows to tell stories about the human condition.
{61342}{61380}Isaac Asimov one said
{61381}{61461}indivudual science fiction stories|may seem as trivial as ever
{61462}{61525}to the blinder critics and philosophers of today
{61531}{61583}but the core of science fiction,
{61584}{61659}its essence has become crucial to our salvation
{61660}{61711}if we are to be saved at all.