1 00:00:01,301 --> 00:00:03,826 Previously on Stargate SG-1. 2 00:00:03,937 --> 00:00:07,373 I'm not just interested in outer space, 3 00:00:07,474 --> 00:00:09,601 I'm from outer space. 4 00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:14,544 Four excellent heroes in an extraordinary new sci-fi series, 5 00:00:14,647 --> 00:00:17,980 starring Nick Marlowe as the wry Colonel Danning. 6 00:00:18,451 --> 00:00:21,750 As a matter of fact, it does say "Colonel" on my uniform. 7 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,255 Wormhole X-treme. 8 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:25,324 It's what I do. 9 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,257 He sold the idea to the studio. 10 00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:31,353 He obviously got the whole thing from his knowledge of the Stargate Program. 11 00:00:31,464 --> 00:00:33,022 No, if the Air Force didn't want it to happen, 12 00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:35,727 they wouldn't have let it go this far. 13 00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:39,196 Come on out. 14 00:00:40,573 --> 00:00:42,598 We are the Furlings. 15 00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:45,804 We thought we'd never get to meet you. 16 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,911 We led them straight here. 17 00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:00,621 - Sam! - I thought I could make it work. 18 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:04,493 The thermodynamic loop is feeding back into the planet's core. 19 00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:14,166 Well, that never happened. 20 00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:16,333 Well, you've got to open big, catch people's attention, 21 00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:18,934 make them think the whole thing is going to be jam-packed. 22 00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:21,213 I love jam. 23 00:01:22,449 --> 00:01:26,545 Oh, I get it, it's yet another playful twist on words in your Earth language. 24 00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:30,084 It makes us look stupid. 25 00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:31,953 You realize it's not actually us. 26 00:01:32,058 --> 00:01:35,050 Okay, okay, it makes the characters look stupid. 27 00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:37,925 I mean, do you really think the best way to introduce the heroes of 28 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:40,329 the story is to show them causing a massive catastrophe? 29 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,264 That's realistic. 30 00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:44,859 - I don't care. - Come on. It'll be fun. 31 00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:46,529 You know, you say that about everything. 32 00:01:46,639 --> 00:01:48,834 Come to think of it, why am I doing this? 33 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,843 To make sure that the Air Force is being properly represented 34 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:56,905 and because General O'Neill has requested you specifically. 35 00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:58,909 Of course he did. 36 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,987 Jackson, how often do we get to give notes on a big Hollywood feature script? 37 00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,518 I believe this is intended to be a television movie. 38 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:10,187 A fictionalized, albeit slightly ridiculous, version of Stargate Command 39 00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:13,754 is an excellent cover for the real thing in the event of a security leak. 40 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:14,991 Plausible deniability. 41 00:02:15,101 --> 00:02:17,228 I'm sorry, sir, did you say slightly ridiculous? 42 00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:19,897 You're doing this. You have no choice. 43 00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:22,098 Just give the man five minutes. 44 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:24,472 I'll get you out of this when the time comes. 45 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:30,276 I've been looking through this, and there doesn't seem to be 46 00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:34,877 any mention of a sexy female alien anywhere. 47 00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:37,589 I'm not even in this. 48 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,317 You know, the really unbelievable part 49 00:02:39,425 --> 00:02:40,756 is that anyone would consider spending 50 00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:42,953 millions of dollars on this thing. 51 00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:45,223 I mean, seriously, all these writers and they couldn't come up 52 00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:46,355 with anything better? 53 00:02:46,466 --> 00:02:48,957 I don't know, I've been watching a lot of television lately 54 00:02:49,068 --> 00:02:52,868 and, apart from one glaring omission, it doesn't seem to be that bad. 55 00:02:52,972 --> 00:02:55,668 Maybe we can make it better. 56 00:02:55,775 --> 00:02:56,764 No, I'm with Sam on this one. 57 00:02:56,876 --> 00:02:59,709 I mean, who makes a movie out of a series that only lasted three episodes? 58 00:02:59,812 --> 00:03:03,043 It allegedly performed well on DVD. 59 00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:05,879 No, I'm not using any shots from the series. 60 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,714 It's a movie, not a clip show. 61 00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,022 The budget is the budget. 62 00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:14,457 They are a bunch of pencil-pushing, bean-counting idiots. 63 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:19,131 You tell them if they don't like it, I'm going to take it somewhere else. 64 00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:24,765 You know not to say that last part, right? 65 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:28,897 Yeah, movie, not clip show, is fine. 66 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:33,970 Yeah, I've got to go. Yeah. 67 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:38,077 Your cell coverage is just terrible in here. 68 00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:40,911 How's it going? You done? 69 00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:50,326 Well, it certainly seems to be packed full of jam. 70 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,561 I knew I should have given you my first draft. 71 00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:55,828 The producer brought in the other writers. 72 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:59,097 - I thought you were the producer. - Yeah, the real one. 73 00:03:59,205 --> 00:04:01,730 Look, just be honest. 74 00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:04,639 I trust you guys. That's why I'm here. 75 00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:08,712 Just tell me what you think. 76 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,219 Come on, you must have some ideas. 77 00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:17,779 Don't be afraid. Just pitch them out. We call it spinning. 78 00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:21,452 Don't worry. No one's going to judge you. 79 00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:27,090 Okay, for starters, I think you need a strong opening title sequence. 80 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,427 Are you serious? 81 00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:29,899 No one does that anymore. 82 00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:32,335 You just throw up the title and get on with it. 83 00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:05,436 Walter! Dial 447. 84 00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:08,803 The only way to stop this is to get the device back to the planet. 85 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:30,058 Look, no offense, but zombies have been done to death. 86 00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:33,665 No pun intended. 87 00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:36,633 Besides, this is science fiction, not horror. 88 00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,067 Did I mention the Tel'chak device? 89 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,435 'Cause that's what turned them into zombies. 90 00:05:41,607 --> 00:05:43,131 Sorry. Go for Marty. 91 00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:48,540 Hey, Charlie. What's up? It's the studio. 92 00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:50,973 What kind of problem? 93 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:53,314 Just out of curiosity, what was the rest of the team doing 94 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,887 while your character was fighting the zombies? 95 00:06:00,993 --> 00:06:04,895 - Son of a bitch! - Studio executives, huh? 96 00:06:05,231 --> 00:06:08,530 What? No, Charlie, he's a great guy. 97 00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:10,829 He's the only one I trust. 98 00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:12,666 So, what's the problem then? 99 00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:14,629 Our lead backed out. 100 00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:17,733 How am I supposed to tell a story without my lead character? 101 00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:21,075 Easy. You just bring in a character to replace him. 102 00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:26,543 What? 103 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,451 You guys have to help me. 104 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:32,217 I mean, how can I keep the main character in the story 105 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:35,590 without actually having the actor who plays him? 106 00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:39,861 Well, you could have the other characters refer to him all the time, 107 00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:42,560 maybe get him on the phone once in a while. 108 00:06:42,668 --> 00:06:46,195 Yeah, right. I mean something cool, 109 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:50,600 like face-switching or body-swapping. 110 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,708 As if anyone would believe that. 111 00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:57,947 Come on, you guys must have some real-life experiences I can draw on. 112 00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:02,386 Well, there was that time that Colonel O'Neill was invisible. 113 00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:06,648 So, essentially, what I think happened is that you were bombarded by 114 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:09,728 the particle field being emanated by the cloaking generator. 115 00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:12,093 See, you were in the engine room standing right next to it 116 00:07:12,198 --> 00:07:14,132 when the device was turned on. 117 00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:16,201 That would account for the minute traces of radiation 118 00:07:16,302 --> 00:07:17,428 we've been picking up from you. 119 00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:21,633 But the good news is, I think I've found a way to reverse the process. 120 00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:24,642 We have to go back to the mothership and get the cloaking generator. 121 00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:26,974 - Sam, who are you talking to? - Colonel O'Neill. 122 00:07:27,079 --> 00:07:29,707 I was just explaining to him how we're going to make him visible again. 123 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:31,408 No, you're not. 124 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,049 Jack's in Hammond's office. 125 00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,750 - I can't believe he did that to me again. - Yeah. 126 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:40,189 You know, getting that cloaking generator off that mothership, 127 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,453 that's going to be the least of our problems. 128 00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:45,122 Now, getting Jack to help, that's going to be the hard part. 129 00:07:45,431 --> 00:07:49,060 - Oh, don't tell me. - Yes. He likes being invisible. 130 00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:02,810 And so, by translating this tablet, 131 00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:07,511 we should be able to determine the most important thing in the universe. 132 00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:20,324 Everyone just want to poke around, see if you can find him? 133 00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:23,936 Sir, are you there? 134 00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:29,602 Nope. 135 00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:33,941 - You cannot remain this way, O'Neill. - Why not? 136 00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:37,605 It gives us an advantage over the Goa'uld. 137 00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:40,845 I can sneak around all I want totally undetected. 138 00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:45,619 I give us the element of surprise. 139 00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:50,458 The bottom line is I can do more for this planet invisible 140 00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:53,031 than I ever could as my own sweet, salient self. 141 00:08:57,436 --> 00:09:00,166 I assume I'm staring at you stoically. 142 00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:04,142 - Not buying it, eh? - No. 143 00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:06,711 You are most transparent, O'Neill. 144 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,642 I get it. Good one. 145 00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:14,309 I can see right through you. 146 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,251 Don't push it. 147 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,839 Hello? Hand signals? 148 00:09:44,350 --> 00:09:46,511 I'm waving you over. 149 00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:50,250 Okay, I've made the necessary adjustments. 150 00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:52,881 All you have to do now is initiate the sequence. 151 00:09:53,859 --> 00:09:54,826 Okay. 152 00:09:55,728 --> 00:09:57,093 Let's do it. 153 00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:05,968 Oh, yeah. This is better. 154 00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:10,909 It might feel like kind of a cheat. 155 00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:14,179 Maybe it's best just not to mention the guy at all. 156 00:10:15,247 --> 00:10:19,741 Yeah, besides, invisibility can be very powerful. 157 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,785 You might not want to open that can of worms. 158 00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:25,584 You don't want your heroes to become too powerful. 159 00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:28,922 Well, you could always invent some negative side-effects. 160 00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:32,889 That's how we talked Colonel O'Neill into becoming visible again. 161 00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:36,127 Okay, that's it, SG-1, you are cleared to leave. 162 00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:37,668 - Thank you. - They can't leave! 163 00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:39,533 They haven't finished reading my script! 164 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,199 That's funny, I thought it said "General" on my uniform. 165 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:45,072 - We owe you one, sir. - You mean another one. 166 00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:47,702 What are you talking about? I thought you said it was going to be fun. 167 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,940 Not after his zombie idea got shot down. 168 00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:52,415 So, where are you guys all off to? 169 00:10:52,518 --> 00:10:55,078 Someplace pretty important, huh? 170 00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:56,711 It's just a recon mission, isn't it? 171 00:10:57,056 --> 00:10:59,524 "Just" a recon mission? This is no simple recon mission. 172 00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:02,150 This is no less than my 200th trip through the gate. 173 00:11:02,261 --> 00:11:03,228 Really? 174 00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:04,688 - You're counting? - You bet. 175 00:11:04,797 --> 00:11:07,459 I have been reflecting while changing into our gear. 176 00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:11,002 I believe this is far from your 200th mission, Colonel Mitchell. 177 00:11:11,103 --> 00:11:14,664 I didn't say 200th mission. I said 200th trip through the gate. 178 00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:17,641 That's counting off-world gates, back and forth, pretty much anytime 179 00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:19,677 I crossed the event horizon. 180 00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:22,748 Yeah. This is going to be huge. 181 00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:24,975 The big 200. 182 00:11:38,297 --> 00:11:39,696 - Fix it. - Quickly. 183 00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:42,859 - I'm on it. - Indeed. 184 00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:48,263 Gotta go! 185 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:51,468 We've got 10 seconds before the time dilation field is activated. 186 00:11:51,577 --> 00:11:55,775 If we don't make it through the gate, we'll be stuck here forever! 187 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,615 Okay, this could be a problem. 188 00:12:02,254 --> 00:12:04,882 - That was close, huh? - Oh, yeah. 189 00:12:05,257 --> 00:12:07,282 Are you serious? What? 190 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,860 How did we escape? 191 00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,463 - They. - Fine, they, they, they. 192 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:15,432 - How did they escape? - Isn't it obvious? 193 00:12:15,534 --> 00:12:19,163 Even if the valley wasn't filled with Jaffa, we could never have made it 194 00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:22,206 to the gate and dialed out in under 10 seconds. 195 00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:24,839 Good. See, that's why we're here. 196 00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:27,412 So, what do you think? 30 seconds? 197 00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:29,777 Maybe not such a round number. 198 00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:32,311 How about 38? 199 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:33,612 What difference does it make? 200 00:12:33,719 --> 00:12:36,779 I mean, it's not like you're going to have an actual ticking clock on the screen. 201 00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:39,756 - That's brilliant! - That's ridiculous. 202 00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:43,693 Trust me, jeopardy plus ticking clock is box office. 203 00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:46,492 It's the E=MC-squared of the entertainment world. 204 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:47,930 Ask any executive. 205 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:51,692 Except I think you've replaced jeopardy with certain death. 206 00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:56,374 Oh, come on. You guys have escaped situations more dire than this before. 207 00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:59,735 - He has a point. - So show the actual escape. 208 00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:03,547 No, no, no. You can't give away too much, too early. 209 00:13:03,649 --> 00:13:04,843 It'll step on the ending. 210 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:08,351 Maybe if my character doesn't say, "This is a problem." 211 00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:11,014 He could say something like, "This should be easy." 212 00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:14,682 How many times do I have to tell you? It's not you. 213 00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:18,057 Colonel Danning is based on Colonel O'Neill. 214 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,367 Please tell me you have the gate working again. 215 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:27,098 We're running another diagnostic, but right now, we're stumped. 216 00:13:27,206 --> 00:13:29,003 The power's getting through to the capacitors, 217 00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:31,338 but, for some reason, the charge isn't holding. 218 00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:34,310 That's causing the control crystal to send feedback into the interface 219 00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:38,144 and reset the programming code of the base computer's dialing protocol. 220 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:41,447 Whoa! That was awesome. Say that again. 221 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,285 No. 222 00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:50,026 Oh. Everybody, take five. I've got to get that down before I forget it. 223 00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:52,495 The power getting to the flux capacitor, 224 00:13:52,598 --> 00:13:56,090 but feedback is not feeding back into the feedback face. 225 00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:57,635 This is gold! 226 00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:03,065 Forget about the techno talk. No one's really interested in it. 227 00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:05,170 You're an alien, right? 228 00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,871 Exactly, and I know just what this movie needs. 229 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:12,383 So how would you know what sci-fi fans from Earth would be interested in? 230 00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:17,348 - Aren't you also an alien? - Yeah, but I've been here quite a while. 231 00:14:17,723 --> 00:14:21,159 Right. Look, I think I know a good story when I hear one. 232 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,854 Don't you want this movie to appeal to a broad range of people? 233 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:27,563 - From Earth. - I have all kinds of fabulous adventures, 234 00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:30,931 none of which have been classified by the Air Force. 235 00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:35,304 - Okay, shoot. Give me your best one. - Right. 236 00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:38,171 I was in a stolen cargo ship, on my way home, 237 00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:42,371 when a solar flare from a nearby star wreaked havoc with my navigation system 238 00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:44,949 and I was forced to crash-land on the nearest planet. 239 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,449 In a bizarre twist of fate, 240 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,715 I crashed right on top of the Goa'uld who ruled that planet, 241 00:14:49,855 --> 00:14:52,688 which was fortunate because my ship was too badly damaged to repair 242 00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:54,418 and I needed help. 243 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,656 The local villagers were very grateful. 244 00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:01,863 They introduced me to a lovely fair-haired Tok'ra 245 00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,730 who had been hiding out on the planet. 246 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:06,498 She told me the legend of a powerful Ascended being 247 00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:09,836 who supposedly lived in some distant, far-off mountains 248 00:15:09,942 --> 00:15:11,273 through a treacherous forest. 249 00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:13,436 Look, I don't have all day. Cut to the chase. 250 00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:16,070 All right. I met up with a number of my friends along the way, 251 00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,809 and after a dangerous and eventful journey, 252 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:22,251 we finally come face to face with the Ascended being. 253 00:15:22,621 --> 00:15:24,885 What can I do for you? 254 00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:27,652 Well, at first I thought I just wanted to go home, 255 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,560 but now I've decided I'd quite like to be a part of something. 256 00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:34,258 A regular part, if you catch my drift. 257 00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:38,561 Oh, and these guys have their own issues. Boys? 258 00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:51,907 That's The Wizard of Oz. 259 00:15:53,485 --> 00:15:57,046 - Oh, you've seen that one? - Yeah. 260 00:15:58,023 --> 00:16:01,049 Oh, that's my phone. Martin Lloyd. 261 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,288 - I didn't hear it ring. - It's on vibrate. 262 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,359 Yes, go ahead. 263 00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:07,800 I can sing. 264 00:16:11,603 --> 00:16:13,764 - So how's it going? - Not well. 265 00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:16,307 Samantha, 200 is waiting. 266 00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:17,466 Right now, I'm just hoping 267 00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:19,942 we haven't done something to permanently damage the gate. 268 00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:22,639 How can something work perfectly fine for 10 years 269 00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:24,272 then all of a sudden it doesn't work anymore? 270 00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:26,681 I don't know. Okay, try it now. 271 00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:33,681 We're getting some strange power readings here, Colonel. 272 00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:37,690 - Shut it down. - It's not responding. 273 00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:40,731 The gate's drawing massive amounts of energy into its capacitors. 274 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,233 Close the blast door and the iris. 275 00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:54,012 I can't shut it down. 276 00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:56,308 Siler, manually cut the power! 277 00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,726 Why does this always happen to me? 278 00:17:10,729 --> 00:17:13,254 Sir, we have to evacuate the base! 279 00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:17,060 This is General Landry. I'm declaring a code red emergency. 280 00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:19,262 All personnel, evacuate the base immediately. 281 00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:23,465 Sir, the capacitors are overloading. We have to get out of here now. 282 00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:24,872 Hurry. 283 00:17:31,316 --> 00:17:34,285 And that is the end of act two. 284 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:41,181 - The mountain blows up? - No possible hope for survival. 285 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:44,658 Cool, huh? I just wrote it based on what's going on with the gate. 286 00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:47,363 I love it when art imitates life. 287 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,562 Hang on. We're alive in the next scene. 288 00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:53,434 Oh, I just haven't fixed that part yet. 289 00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:58,203 I'm thinking I can back-sell it and say you were beamed out at the last second. 290 00:17:58,310 --> 00:18:00,574 - Beamed out? - Sure. Why not? 291 00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:04,171 - Is that not too convenient? - Not if you hang a lantern on it. 292 00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,376 - What's that? - It's a writer's term. 293 00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:09,976 Another character points out how convenient it is. 294 00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:14,649 Dr. Levant can say, "Well, that was great timing." 295 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:19,421 That way the audience knows I intended for it to be convenient, 296 00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:22,125 - and we move on. - Really. 297 00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:25,994 - Okay, where were we? - Scene 24. 298 00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:28,696 Oh, great, one of my favorite scenes. 299 00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:31,334 Go ahead. 300 00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:36,581 "Interior Bridge. 301 00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,616 "The crew mans their stations." 302 00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:40,981 I'm picking up a strange energy anomaly, Colonel. 303 00:18:41,086 --> 00:18:43,077 It appears the singularity is about to explode. 304 00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:44,519 Weapons are at maximum. 305 00:18:44,656 --> 00:18:46,624 Damn it, Captain! Solar flare. 306 00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:48,659 We've got a shockwave heading straight for us. 307 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,251 Can you reverse the polarity? 308 00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,288 I'll do my best. 309 00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:56,634 Engine room. Warp speed! 310 00:18:56,735 --> 00:18:58,828 Take us out of here now. 311 00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:03,907 I'm giving it all I've got, Captain, but you're expecting a bloody miracle. 312 00:19:04,009 --> 00:19:06,375 - Hang on, hang on, hang on. - What? 313 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:10,809 Okay, one, that's Star Trek. And two, it's ridiculous. 314 00:19:11,450 --> 00:19:12,747 What's wrong with it? 315 00:19:12,851 --> 00:19:15,786 - The singularity is about to explode? - Yes. 316 00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:18,614 Everything about that statement is wrong. 317 00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:22,023 How exactly is having weapons at maximum going to help the situation? 318 00:19:22,127 --> 00:19:24,527 The audience isn't going to know the difference. 319 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:27,531 They love weapons at maximum. 320 00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:29,958 Never underestimate your audience. 321 00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:32,036 They're generally sensitive, intelligent people 322 00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:34,503 who respond positively to quality entertainment. 323 00:19:35,207 --> 00:19:37,300 I do not understand why everything in this script 324 00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:38,899 must inevitably explode. 325 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,808 Look, you guys may all know 326 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:43,211 how things really work out there in the galaxy, 327 00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:48,378 but I know the film business. Explosions make great trailers. 328 00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:51,223 Simple fact. More explosions, better trailer. 329 00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:52,349 Simple fact. More explosions, better trailer. 330 00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:55,625 Better trailer, more viewers. 331 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:03,767 Yeah, go for Marty. Oh, hey, Nora. 332 00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:07,500 What? That's ridiculous. 333 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,599 Tell them to stop panicking. 334 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:15,009 We're going to sign him. Don't worry. I already put in a call to his manager. 335 00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:18,942 We'll get back to you. Yeah. Bye. 336 00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:23,987 - So, trouble with Nora? - No. Nora, she's great. 337 00:20:24,489 --> 00:20:27,185 But since Nick Marlowe is holding out, 338 00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:31,251 one of the new junior executives at the network has suggested 339 00:20:31,363 --> 00:20:35,800 we re-cast the whole movie with younger, edgier versions of the team. 340 00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,764 Can you imagine that? 341 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,148 Yo, dawg, what did you do that for? 342 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,377 Dude, that hot chick was so totally a Goa'uld! 343 00:20:53,485 --> 00:20:57,285 - Duh, I was still gonna tap that. - You don't appreciate me, do you? 344 00:20:57,556 --> 00:20:59,956 I think you're so totally awesome. 345 00:21:03,128 --> 00:21:04,618 That's what I'm talking about. 346 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:11,000 Yo, Wonderbread, you got that address figured out yet? 347 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:15,798 Chill, T. I'm, like, translating as fast as I can. 348 00:21:17,042 --> 00:21:20,341 I'm so sick of being treated like some sort of object to be worshiped. 349 00:21:20,445 --> 00:21:22,174 I'm a real person with real feelings. 350 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:26,650 You know, I don't think Mitchell likes me anymore. 351 00:21:27,486 --> 00:21:28,919 I'm pregnant. 352 00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:33,020 - No. - Nope. 353 00:21:36,495 --> 00:21:38,622 I need a latte. 354 00:21:40,065 --> 00:21:42,260 How about this one? We were in a cloaked cargo ship 355 00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:44,597 on a simple, three-hour reconnaissance mission... 356 00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:46,671 Gilligan's Island, right? 357 00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:48,966 You got that from "Three-hour reconnaissance mission?" 358 00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:50,165 Piece of advice. 359 00:21:50,275 --> 00:21:54,006 If you're going to rip something off, think of something a little more obscure. 360 00:21:54,112 --> 00:21:55,170 Oh, okay. 361 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:59,379 Call me fahrbot, but they're gonna have our mivonks on a platter if we don't 362 00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:01,384 starburst the draz out of here. 363 00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:04,649 The cluster's been damaged. We're not going anywhere. 364 00:22:05,857 --> 00:22:07,916 Oh, dren. 365 00:22:08,026 --> 00:22:09,254 Hezmana! 366 00:22:11,363 --> 00:22:12,489 Frell! 367 00:22:13,365 --> 00:22:15,265 Son of a hasmot! 368 00:22:15,967 --> 00:22:17,264 Yotz! 369 00:22:19,471 --> 00:22:22,963 Okay, you got me. I have no idea what that is. 370 00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:27,310 Oh, for crying out loud, what now? 371 00:22:28,613 --> 00:22:30,342 Oh, give me a break! 372 00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:35,618 I just a got a text message from the studio. 373 00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:39,322 The foreign distributor went bankrupt. They're slashing my budget. 374 00:22:39,424 --> 00:22:40,891 In a text message? 375 00:22:40,992 --> 00:22:43,756 This totally screws up the end of act three. 376 00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:47,662 - What happens at the end of act three? - With these cuts, not much. 377 00:22:47,766 --> 00:22:49,495 Act three just ends. 378 00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:53,728 What's so bad about this? 379 00:22:53,905 --> 00:22:56,601 - Any idea when we'll be able to go? - Sorry. 380 00:22:57,008 --> 00:23:00,341 We're trying a full reset of the system, sir. 381 00:23:00,912 --> 00:23:02,072 Hey. 382 00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:05,846 If you want this to be more accurate, 383 00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:07,646 why don't you just give him your mission files? 384 00:23:07,753 --> 00:23:09,186 - They're classified. - So? 385 00:23:09,287 --> 00:23:12,279 Didn't you say that no one on your planet would believe this was all real anyway? 386 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:15,087 Even still, do you know how many mission files there are? 387 00:23:15,193 --> 00:23:17,457 1,263. 388 00:23:17,863 --> 00:23:19,763 Hopefully 64 by the end of the day. 389 00:23:20,031 --> 00:23:22,932 Actually, it's 1,264 already. 390 00:23:23,034 --> 00:23:26,265 No, it's 63. Pretty sure. I've read all the files recently. 391 00:23:26,371 --> 00:23:29,465 Actually, you haven't read 30185. 392 00:23:30,308 --> 00:23:34,039 30185? What's that? 393 00:23:35,046 --> 00:23:36,013 We can't tell you. 394 00:23:36,782 --> 00:23:38,773 What do you mean you can't tell me? 395 00:23:38,984 --> 00:23:43,785 I have the highest security clearance known to mankind. What is 30185? 396 00:23:44,122 --> 00:23:46,283 We were sworn to secrecy. 397 00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:51,323 Well, why even mention it to me if you're not going to tell me what it is? 398 00:23:51,530 --> 00:23:52,497 Sorry. 399 00:23:52,831 --> 00:23:55,265 - Can you tell me? - Oh, yeah, we can tell you. 400 00:23:55,634 --> 00:23:59,434 It has to do with the time that the gate sent us back to 1969. 401 00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:01,037 Well, that can't have anything to do with me. 402 00:24:01,139 --> 00:24:02,504 I wasn't born till a year later. 403 00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:05,770 Actually, it was nine months before he was born. 404 00:24:05,877 --> 00:24:06,866 What? 405 00:24:06,978 --> 00:24:09,606 You have to remember, it was the '60s. 406 00:24:10,882 --> 00:24:11,849 Come on, 407 00:24:12,484 --> 00:24:16,318 you have to have known that Jack's always taken an interest in your life. 408 00:24:16,521 --> 00:24:18,318 Jack O'Neill? 409 00:24:19,658 --> 00:24:20,886 Indeed. 410 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,121 Do you remember when you were chosen for the 302 program 411 00:24:24,229 --> 00:24:26,129 even though you didn't think you should get in? 412 00:24:26,231 --> 00:24:29,200 How about when you were chosen for SG-1? 413 00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:32,737 - Wait, are you saying that Jack O'Neill is... - My daddy? 414 00:24:32,838 --> 00:24:35,671 All starting to make sense now, isn't it? 415 00:24:38,710 --> 00:24:40,905 Oh, I'm being punked, aren't I? 416 00:24:41,012 --> 00:24:43,849 We honestly can't tell you about 30185. 417 00:24:43,849 --> 00:24:44,679 We honestly can't tell you about 30185. 418 00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:47,008 I can't believe it! 419 00:24:47,185 --> 00:24:49,449 The whole cast heard Marlowe is holding out for more money, 420 00:24:49,554 --> 00:24:51,579 and now they're all joining in. 421 00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,557 Where do they think it comes from? 422 00:24:56,061 --> 00:24:58,791 How am I supposed to do a movie without any actors? 423 00:24:59,064 --> 00:25:01,760 Carter, correct me if I'm wrong on this, but is it not 424 00:25:01,867 --> 00:25:04,961 a fact of parallel dimension physics that each of us exists 425 00:25:05,070 --> 00:25:08,233 somewhere in some universe in whatever way, shape, or form we can imagine? 426 00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:11,707 Any way, shape, or form we can imagine. We've seen it for ourselves. 427 00:25:11,843 --> 00:25:13,276 There you go. 428 00:25:14,212 --> 00:25:15,839 Use your imagination. 429 00:25:25,957 --> 00:25:27,254 All right, people. 430 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:31,659 We created this multi-billion dollar facility under Cheyenne Mountain 431 00:25:31,763 --> 00:25:33,958 so that we can use this thing. 432 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:36,958 Anyone know how? 433 00:25:41,473 --> 00:25:43,771 Sir, we thought you knew. 434 00:25:44,910 --> 00:25:49,438 I do know this, we need to put together a team, 435 00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:53,848 starting with the most beautiful, battle-ready scientific genius I know, 436 00:25:54,619 --> 00:25:58,385 - Captain Doctor Samantha Carter. - Reporting for duty, sir. 437 00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:00,787 What can you tell us, Captain? 438 00:26:02,861 --> 00:26:05,694 Well, at first glance, I suspect the device creates a stable wormhole 439 00:26:05,797 --> 00:26:08,664 between superconducting rings that have been placed in fixed positions 440 00:26:08,767 --> 00:26:09,756 elsewhere in the galaxy... 441 00:26:09,868 --> 00:26:11,426 ...converts matter into energy at the event horizon, 442 00:26:11,536 --> 00:26:13,697 once the initial vortex has subsided, of course. 443 00:26:13,805 --> 00:26:16,638 And just because my sex organs are on the inside instead of the outside 444 00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:17,901 doesn't mean that I can't handle... 445 00:26:18,009 --> 00:26:20,807 Provided, of course, that sufficient energy has been channeled to the device 446 00:26:20,912 --> 00:26:23,779 and that the correct coordinates have been calculated. 447 00:26:25,116 --> 00:26:26,811 Okay, get to it. 448 00:26:28,186 --> 00:26:31,678 Next, we need a bookworm adventurer who can say "brains" and "guts" 449 00:26:31,790 --> 00:26:33,485 in 27 languages. 450 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:35,116 Dr. Daniel Jackson. 451 00:26:35,226 --> 00:26:38,093 Why have I been brought here? This is not... 452 00:26:40,265 --> 00:26:41,232 What is that? 453 00:26:41,499 --> 00:26:43,160 The reason you're here, Doctor. 454 00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:47,864 This big ring was discovered in the sands of Egypt, near Giza. 455 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,200 Then I was right. 456 00:26:51,543 --> 00:26:54,205 The pyramids really were landing sites for interplanetary starships that 457 00:26:54,312 --> 00:26:58,271 enslaved primitive human populations by posing as their gods. 458 00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,975 Well, we found the ring in the sand. 459 00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:04,179 These symbols, they look familiar. 460 00:27:04,389 --> 00:27:07,552 They're like constellations. Don't you see? Here. 461 00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:14,087 If each symbol represents a specific point in space, 462 00:27:14,199 --> 00:27:17,498 then six of them would create a sort of box. 463 00:27:17,602 --> 00:27:21,333 The intersection point between those six points would indicate a destination. 464 00:27:21,439 --> 00:27:26,604 Maybe, just maybe, the seventh marks the starting point. 465 00:27:26,878 --> 00:27:29,438 Is there a monitor that shows these symbols in detail? 466 00:27:29,547 --> 00:27:31,412 Over here, Dr. Jackson. 467 00:27:38,590 --> 00:27:39,750 Wait. 468 00:27:39,858 --> 00:27:41,917 This one seems different. 469 00:27:42,027 --> 00:27:43,756 You found the ring in Egypt. 470 00:27:43,862 --> 00:27:45,352 The pyramid represents Earth. 471 00:27:45,463 --> 00:27:47,556 This symbol has to be the point of origin. 472 00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:50,260 It was under our noses the whole time. 473 00:27:50,735 --> 00:27:53,226 I feel so stupid. 474 00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:57,775 And now what this team needs is a leader, someone who'll laugh in the face 475 00:27:57,876 --> 00:28:00,868 of his enemy, even when it's inappropriate. 476 00:28:01,846 --> 00:28:03,780 Colonel Jack O'Neill. 477 00:28:03,882 --> 00:28:05,782 I thought I told you I retired. 478 00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:10,086 I thought you said you were tired. 479 00:28:11,623 --> 00:28:14,524 Well, as a matter of fact, I am a little tired. 480 00:28:14,626 --> 00:28:16,651 There's no time for that now. 481 00:28:16,761 --> 00:28:18,820 You have a mission to lead. 482 00:28:18,930 --> 00:28:19,919 Right! 483 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,191 Sergeant? Make it spin. 484 00:28:24,969 --> 00:28:26,061 Spin? 485 00:28:27,338 --> 00:28:28,930 Sir, it doesn't spin. 486 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:30,234 What? 487 00:28:30,341 --> 00:28:32,536 It has to spin. It's round. 488 00:28:32,644 --> 00:28:35,545 Spinning is so much cooler than not spinning. 489 00:28:35,647 --> 00:28:36,978 I'm the General. 490 00:28:37,082 --> 00:28:39,175 I want it to spin. Now! 491 00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:41,242 Yes, sir. 492 00:28:44,789 --> 00:28:46,552 Hey, look at that. 493 00:28:51,296 --> 00:28:53,355 Chevron one is lit up. 494 00:28:53,465 --> 00:28:55,262 I wonder what we're going to find on the other side. 495 00:28:55,366 --> 00:28:57,163 Whatever it is, I'll bet it's amazing. 496 00:28:57,268 --> 00:29:00,328 Well, don't get too excited. It's just a simple recon. 497 00:29:00,438 --> 00:29:02,838 Aren't you the least bit curious about what's out there? 498 00:29:02,941 --> 00:29:06,035 Well, I'm just hoping we find some new meat for the team, 499 00:29:06,144 --> 00:29:11,810 preferably something bald, mysterious, you know, the warrior type, 500 00:29:11,916 --> 00:29:14,817 with lots of, you know, muscles. 501 00:29:14,919 --> 00:29:18,878 Sir, the odds against any alien life forms we encounter looking remotely human 502 00:29:18,990 --> 00:29:20,685 are astronomical. 503 00:29:20,892 --> 00:29:22,655 Yeah, well... 504 00:29:23,561 --> 00:29:24,629 We'll see. 505 00:29:24,629 --> 00:29:24,890 We'll see. 506 00:29:27,966 --> 00:29:30,434 Chevron seven, also lit up. 507 00:29:38,676 --> 00:29:41,474 - Holy... - Colonel O'Neill, you have a go. 508 00:29:41,980 --> 00:29:43,345 Godspeed. 509 00:29:43,648 --> 00:29:45,445 Easy for him to say. 510 00:29:54,325 --> 00:29:55,292 Okay. 511 00:29:56,661 --> 00:30:00,461 We're all gonna do this together on three, all right? Okay? 512 00:30:01,499 --> 00:30:02,466 Okay. 513 00:30:03,168 --> 00:30:06,763 One, two, three! 514 00:30:14,979 --> 00:30:16,412 Dear God in heaven. 515 00:30:19,217 --> 00:30:21,708 I feel so stupid. 516 00:30:35,166 --> 00:30:37,327 Yeah, that'll work. 517 00:30:37,802 --> 00:30:39,929 A whole movie made with puppets. 518 00:30:40,138 --> 00:30:41,230 Hey, I'm just saying... 519 00:30:41,339 --> 00:30:42,806 Maybe we can have puppet O'Neill 520 00:30:42,907 --> 00:30:46,604 jump over a puppet shark on a one-third scale motorcycle. 521 00:30:48,279 --> 00:30:49,246 I don't get it. 522 00:30:49,447 --> 00:30:51,779 Look, you don't know the business like I do. 523 00:30:51,883 --> 00:30:57,753 I don't have any money, so I have to give the actors something else. 524 00:30:58,389 --> 00:31:01,051 - Bigger trailers? - I can't afford that either. 525 00:31:01,159 --> 00:31:06,563 No, I have to give them something that costs me nothing but no actor can refuse. 526 00:31:06,865 --> 00:31:07,923 And what's that? 527 00:31:08,032 --> 00:31:09,795 A good ego-stroking. 528 00:31:10,501 --> 00:31:13,993 I have to make them think that I re-wrote the script just for them. 529 00:31:14,105 --> 00:31:17,541 In this draft, there has to be something that makes them want to do this movie 530 00:31:17,842 --> 00:31:19,400 even if it's for scale. 531 00:31:19,510 --> 00:31:21,944 You know, we've been trying here. 532 00:31:22,947 --> 00:31:24,005 You're not listening. 533 00:31:24,115 --> 00:31:28,449 I'm talking about a twist, something nobody's expecting. 534 00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:30,748 You mean something like this? 535 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:41,528 Wow, I don't think anyone will see that coming. 536 00:31:41,633 --> 00:31:43,828 - No, but there'll be spoilers. - Are you kidding? 537 00:31:43,935 --> 00:31:45,835 Lt'll be in the commercial. 538 00:31:48,773 --> 00:31:50,673 When it comes to fighting crime, 539 00:31:50,775 --> 00:31:54,711 there's only one man keeping the streets safe, while keeping it real. 540 00:31:59,550 --> 00:32:00,812 Indeed. 541 00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:03,649 Teal'c, P. L. Coming this fall. 542 00:32:04,923 --> 00:32:06,220 I love it. 543 00:32:08,326 --> 00:32:10,760 I'm just not sure if the network... 544 00:32:10,862 --> 00:32:15,526 But I'll pitch it to them next week and we'll see what they think. 545 00:32:18,136 --> 00:32:21,037 I have to get that. We'll talk later. 546 00:32:21,639 --> 00:32:22,731 You got Marty. 547 00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:24,705 So what brings you this way, sir? 548 00:32:25,977 --> 00:32:29,310 What, a guy can't just stop by from Malibu to say hi? 549 00:32:29,647 --> 00:32:31,308 - Malibu? - Sure. 550 00:32:32,450 --> 00:32:34,179 I was there on business. 551 00:32:34,285 --> 00:32:38,244 Exactly, sir. You're an Air Force General with enormous responsibilities. 552 00:32:39,223 --> 00:32:43,319 Ostensibly, I just stopped by to see how you were doing with Marty. 553 00:32:45,897 --> 00:32:47,922 Well, truth be known that 554 00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:51,333 lately I've been feeling a little... 555 00:32:52,704 --> 00:32:55,036 What? How do I say it? 556 00:32:56,341 --> 00:32:58,309 It's okay to say that you missed us, sir. 557 00:32:58,409 --> 00:32:59,706 No, not that. 558 00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:02,575 - Like you have unfinished business? - Okay. 559 00:33:03,982 --> 00:33:07,179 You need closure, and I have the perfect thing. 560 00:33:07,285 --> 00:33:09,219 We were about to go on a mission to commemorate 561 00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:11,151 my 200th trip through the gate. 562 00:33:11,255 --> 00:33:13,917 Really? 200, you say? 563 00:33:14,559 --> 00:33:19,326 That's 200 times he's stepped through the gate, sir, not actual missions. 564 00:33:19,731 --> 00:33:22,791 To be honest, I wouldn't mind one last jaunt 565 00:33:22,900 --> 00:33:24,765 through the old orifice. 566 00:33:29,273 --> 00:33:30,331 What? 567 00:33:31,776 --> 00:33:33,801 We call it that sometimes, don't we? 568 00:33:35,113 --> 00:33:36,307 Orifice? 569 00:33:36,948 --> 00:33:39,143 Stupid focus groups. 570 00:33:39,250 --> 00:33:40,717 They hate the ending. 571 00:33:40,885 --> 00:33:42,580 I have to think of something new. 572 00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:44,484 They could go fishing. 573 00:33:44,589 --> 00:33:47,080 - Fishing? - Yeah, it'd be the perfect ending. 574 00:33:47,592 --> 00:33:51,756 I mean, after that, anything else would seem pointless. 575 00:33:53,831 --> 00:33:55,230 This is great. 576 00:33:56,234 --> 00:33:57,633 I told you. 577 00:34:02,573 --> 00:34:04,905 Yup, it's good to be here. 578 00:34:06,144 --> 00:34:07,771 You weren't there. 579 00:34:08,846 --> 00:34:12,612 So, what's the twist? No fish? 580 00:34:13,117 --> 00:34:18,054 No, I need something with more impact, something more... 581 00:34:18,890 --> 00:34:20,016 Moving. 582 00:34:22,126 --> 00:34:24,287 Everyone loves a wedding. 583 00:34:36,207 --> 00:34:39,472 It's just a summer cold, sir. 584 00:34:41,846 --> 00:34:44,110 - A bit of a wait. - Indeed. 585 00:34:49,387 --> 00:34:53,517 You know, if she doesn't show, people are gonna think that you and I are... 586 00:34:54,992 --> 00:34:55,959 What? 587 00:35:13,811 --> 00:35:16,109 - Nice entrance. - Sorry, sir. 588 00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:18,245 Carter. 589 00:35:19,183 --> 00:35:20,582 Jack. 590 00:35:21,552 --> 00:35:22,849 Thank you. 591 00:35:23,387 --> 00:35:25,116 Shall we begin? 592 00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:33,894 Yeah, right, if I want to torture the audience on purpose. 593 00:35:34,265 --> 00:35:38,531 - The gate is back up and running. General. - General. 594 00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:40,327 With permission? 595 00:35:46,878 --> 00:35:49,346 But I still don't have my ending. 596 00:36:01,626 --> 00:36:04,322 You keep these kids out of trouble, Jack. 597 00:36:05,930 --> 00:36:07,898 Here's an idea, Hank. 598 00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:10,126 Why don't you come along with us? 599 00:36:10,234 --> 00:36:11,258 No, it's all right. 600 00:36:11,369 --> 00:36:12,393 - No, seriously. - I don't know. 601 00:36:12,503 --> 00:36:13,970 Yeah, come on. 602 00:36:14,071 --> 00:36:17,165 It'll be kind of like a special occasion deal. 603 00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:21,175 - Well, what the hell. - Yeah, that's it. 604 00:36:21,279 --> 00:36:24,214 Hey, Walter! Come on, we're all going. 605 00:36:25,283 --> 00:36:26,580 I don't have the right outfit. 606 00:36:26,684 --> 00:36:28,914 You look fine! 607 00:36:44,235 --> 00:36:46,931 Everything ready? 608 00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:49,199 SGs 3 through 18 are waiting, sir. 609 00:36:49,307 --> 00:36:51,468 - The cake? - It's all set. 610 00:36:52,343 --> 00:36:54,641 Balloons, streamers, the works. 611 00:36:54,745 --> 00:36:58,237 All right, let's go check out the mysteries of P2C-106. 612 00:37:02,153 --> 00:37:03,552 Hey, Marty. 613 00:37:03,654 --> 00:37:05,451 Why don't you come with us? 614 00:37:05,790 --> 00:37:10,955 Maybe find a little inspiration for the end of your little movie. 615 00:37:11,162 --> 00:37:12,288 I can't. 616 00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:15,559 I just heard from the studio. The movie's been canceled. 617 00:37:17,368 --> 00:37:18,835 There's some heartbreak. 618 00:37:18,936 --> 00:37:19,237 - That's too bad. - Not for me. 619 00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:21,728 - That's too bad. - Not for me. 620 00:37:22,106 --> 00:37:24,904 They decided to renew the series instead! 621 00:37:27,979 --> 00:37:28,946 Okay. 622 00:37:30,147 --> 00:37:31,580 Let's move out. 623 00:37:46,964 --> 00:37:48,454 And, cut! 624 00:37:52,336 --> 00:37:54,133 - Good job, Doug. - Here, here, here. 625 00:37:54,305 --> 00:37:55,431 - Ocean. - Thanks. 626 00:37:56,007 --> 00:37:57,406 Well, that wasn't so bad. 627 00:37:57,508 --> 00:37:58,668 And that's a cut, everybody. 628 00:37:58,776 --> 00:38:02,075 That is a wrap on the 200th episode! 629 00:38:03,381 --> 00:38:05,042 Nice job, everybody. 630 00:38:07,618 --> 00:38:11,247 So, did you ever think a show like this would go on for 200? 631 00:38:11,355 --> 00:38:12,720 Well, sure. 632 00:38:13,190 --> 00:38:15,590 What do you mean, "A show like this"? 633 00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:20,689 Martin Lloyd. Yeah. 634 00:38:22,266 --> 00:38:23,858 Are you kidding? 635 00:38:25,136 --> 00:38:28,003 Hey, everybody. Guess what? 636 00:38:28,105 --> 00:38:29,834 The movie's back on! 637 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,672 Ten seasons, seven Saturn Awards 638 00:38:38,783 --> 00:38:43,482 for Best Cable or Syndication Science Fiction Show. 639 00:38:45,189 --> 00:38:46,918 Who would have guessed? 640 00:38:47,491 --> 00:38:51,689 I think, first and foremost, it has to do, you know, with the writing. 641 00:38:51,796 --> 00:38:56,426 I mean, obviously we don't take ourselves too seriously. 642 00:38:56,967 --> 00:39:00,425 The writers are really great guys, all of them. 643 00:39:00,538 --> 00:39:02,062 Men, you know. 644 00:39:02,573 --> 00:39:04,564 Yeah, it's a bit of a boys' club. 645 00:39:04,675 --> 00:39:08,111 The real challenge was coming up with a good catch phrase. 646 00:39:09,714 --> 00:39:12,376 "It's what I do." 647 00:39:13,384 --> 00:39:15,978 "It's what I do." 648 00:39:17,521 --> 00:39:21,719 That was so, you know, good. 649 00:39:22,526 --> 00:39:24,619 It defined Colonel Danning. 650 00:39:24,995 --> 00:39:28,123 I just don't think they know what they want to do with my character. 651 00:39:28,232 --> 00:39:32,760 I probably should have taken up golf a long time ago. 652 00:39:33,671 --> 00:39:35,730 Just... Just kidding. 653 00:39:36,140 --> 00:39:38,335 And I needed something even better 654 00:39:38,442 --> 00:39:43,436 to make you forget about the guy that fans loved to watch 655 00:39:43,547 --> 00:39:46,015 for the first seven years of the show. 656 00:39:46,117 --> 00:39:47,982 I know he was here for eight, 657 00:39:48,085 --> 00:39:51,316 but, you know, a lot of people say he just kind of phoned it in 658 00:39:51,889 --> 00:39:53,083 that last season. 659 00:39:53,190 --> 00:39:56,921 Yeah, well, that's ancient history. We don't talk about that around here. 660 00:39:57,261 --> 00:40:00,492 The fact of the matter is, I don't really even know what happened there. 661 00:40:00,598 --> 00:40:03,294 You know, to me, it never felt like I was leaving the show. 662 00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:05,198 I just needed a little space, a little time, you know? 663 00:40:05,302 --> 00:40:07,236 I wanted to get back to my roots. Theater, right? 664 00:40:07,338 --> 00:40:09,863 So I go to New York, do a little Broadway, 665 00:40:09,974 --> 00:40:11,441 off-off-Broadway. Either way, it doesn't matter. 666 00:40:11,542 --> 00:40:14,670 Acting, you know? Acting without having people hurling 667 00:40:14,779 --> 00:40:17,907 papier-maché boulders at you all Day. It was great, you know? 668 00:40:18,015 --> 00:40:20,176 I like them both. I like boulders. I'm fine with that. 669 00:40:20,284 --> 00:40:23,481 This production runs like a well-oiled machine, 670 00:40:23,587 --> 00:40:26,784 and, sure, that starts from the top, but, I mean, 671 00:40:26,891 --> 00:40:29,052 we all love the show. 672 00:40:29,460 --> 00:40:34,227 The gaffers, the lighting guy, the medic, 673 00:40:34,331 --> 00:40:37,095 the makeup and the caterers. 674 00:40:37,201 --> 00:40:38,293 It's like a family. 675 00:40:38,402 --> 00:40:41,838 The writers were trying to come up with a catch phrase. 676 00:40:42,373 --> 00:40:47,333 "I can get behind that," was something we tried for a while. 677 00:40:47,578 --> 00:40:52,038 Anyway, I mean, I'd actually like to do some writing. 678 00:40:52,650 --> 00:40:53,708 Maybe have a baby. 679 00:40:54,919 --> 00:40:56,648 It just hit me. 680 00:40:58,155 --> 00:40:59,554 Sweet... 681 00:41:04,495 --> 00:41:07,726 And we can get away with that, too, because it's cable. 682 00:41:08,065 --> 00:41:10,932 You can't get there without the fans, right? I have to thank them. 683 00:41:11,101 --> 00:41:13,467 I've got to thank specifically the ones... 684 00:41:13,571 --> 00:41:16,938 Oh, God, what's it called? SaveDrLevant. Com. 685 00:41:17,041 --> 00:41:18,702 Have you seen the site? I mean, it's insane. 686 00:41:18,809 --> 00:41:22,370 Apparently they get dozens of hits a month, whatever. I think that's a lot. 687 00:41:22,513 --> 00:41:26,745 But between them and the ad in Variety that they put out, I'm pretty sure 688 00:41:26,851 --> 00:41:29,820 that went a long way towards convincing the producers to take me back. 689 00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:31,581 Have me... To invite me back. 690 00:41:31,689 --> 00:41:34,681 It wasn't their decision, you know. They called, said, "Hey, do you want it?" 691 00:41:34,792 --> 00:41:36,054 You know, and I was ready. 692 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:39,618 What I think really makes this show what it is, 693 00:41:40,397 --> 00:41:45,425 is the chemistry with the cast. 694 00:41:46,604 --> 00:41:48,162 Yeah. Oh, could you hold on? 695 00:41:48,272 --> 00:41:49,933 Stop the tape. 696 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,008 Who does he think he is? 697 00:41:52,610 --> 00:41:57,274 Well, you tell that ungrateful little Bag to shove it up his 698 00:41:57,548 --> 00:42:01,416 Yeah, yeah, let him try to get a job that pays this much. 699 00:42:04,622 --> 00:42:07,420 You weren't rolling, were... Okay. 700 00:42:09,093 --> 00:42:10,583 What... What was I saying? 701 00:42:10,694 --> 00:42:13,424 Oh, yes, the cast. 702 00:42:15,065 --> 00:42:16,225 Holy... 703 00:42:22,806 --> 00:42:24,706 That would be, like, a 19. 704 00:42:24,808 --> 00:42:26,969 That's it? You're good? All right. 705 00:42:27,244 --> 00:42:29,610 Can I get my sandwich, please? 706 00:42:30,147 --> 00:42:32,012 All right. Hey, thanks, man. 707 00:42:32,316 --> 00:42:35,046 Science fiction is an existential metaphor 708 00:42:35,152 --> 00:42:38,588 that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. 709 00:42:38,789 --> 00:42:42,350 Isaac Asimov once said, "Individual science fiction stories may seem 710 00:42:42,459 --> 00:42:46,691 "as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, 711 00:42:46,797 --> 00:42:50,392 "but the core of science fiction, its essence, has become crucial 712 00:42:50,501 --> 00:42:53,368 "to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all."