{1}{1}25.000
{45}{78}How about Monday morning?
{81}{145}No, I have a thing with someone from CIA.
{166}{261}Uh, Johnson someone or other.|It's about that whole Kinsey thing.
{264}{304}So, any big plans for the weekend?
{307}{374}Oh yeah. Big. Huge!
{381}{418}Yeah, me neither.
{419}{445}What are you talking about?
{446}{535}I just walked in with a whole handful|of ingredients for my world famous omelette.
{536}{587}World famous huh? What's in it?
{591}{621}Eggs.
{629}{713}I don't think that that actually|qualifies as a recipe.
{716}{867}Oh don't kid yourself. There's a secret ingredient.|I can't tell you what it is or I'd have to shoot you.
{870}{911}It's beer isn't it.
{914}{939}Carter....
{1055}{1085}I'm gonna call you back.
{1086}{1125}I knew it.
{1190}{1230}You're Jack O'Neill.
{1250}{1354}Yes. Here's a better question. Who are you?
{1357}{1455}It doesn't matter, to anyone.|All you need to know is...
{1480}{1535}You ruined my life!
{1661}{1794}Season 8 - Episode 15|Citizen Joe
{2100}{2200}Transcript:|stargatedanielfriendly.net
{2430}{2550}
{2600}{2700}Synchro:|DjNono, frost666, greatouillle, Kotaro
{2870}{2940}www.seriestele.net
{3145}{3210}
{3392}{3477}We should have gotten here earlier,|when the real deals were still available.
{3480}{3528}Honey, it's 7am.
{3558}{3668}Joe, start over there and see if you can|find a lamp that will work in the TV room.
{3732}{3852}Oh, my Lord, look!|They have those old English tea tins.
{4555}{4595}{Y:i}Security breached
{4596}{4637}They just got corridor C9 open.
{4638}{4668}Alright, let's go!
{5164}{5190}Excuse me.
{5220}{5245}How much?
{5281}{5389}So, there's this fella who walks into|a bar and he see's an ape sitting there.
{5437}{5538}Sorry, no! He's see's a gorilla. That's it. Right.
{5541}{5624}There's a gorilla sitting there, drinking a coke.
{5664}{5825}So he say's to the bartender,|"Hey! What's with that gorilla drinking that drink?"
{5834}{5958}Well the bartender says,|"Yeah, that ape usually orders a coke."
{6024}{6079}I mean a beer. He usually orders a beer.
{6082}{6162}Boss, Is it an ape or a gorilla, cos they're|a completely different species, you know?
{6164}{6222}It doesn't matter.|It could be a monkey, the point is....
{6225}{6297}The point is Joe, it's a good thing you can cut hair.
{6340}{6370}Very good.
{6392}{6433}Are we about done here?
{6437}{6471}All set.
{6492}{6580}Because someone, somewhere out there|are getting themselves a new car,
{6581}{6635}whether they know it or not, you know what I mean?
{6652}{6728}I feel the power to sell, moving through me today.
{6740}{6796}Boy's, it's been a slice.
{6797}{6840}- Thanks Fred.|- See you Fred.
{7080}{7120}Bow down now.
{7140}{7215}Show me your reverence for my son.
{7315}{7390}The mighty warrior Klorel!
{7426}{7501}Kel Apophis.
{7917}{7998}Oh, we are reading the best book,|in book club this week.
{8001}{8115}It's called the heart of a woman|and it is such a powerful story.
{8118}{8163}Everytime I think about it, I just....
{8165}{8192}You wanna hear a story?
{8195}{8271}Oh, sure dear, I'm sorry.|What happened to you today at the shop.
{8274}{8345}It's not work related. I have a story.
{8345}{8375}What do you mean?
{8376}{8461}You know, like in those books you read, only different.
{8463}{8516}Ok, sure.
{8533}{8636}It's about a team of adventurers known as SG-1.
{8640}{8768}They travel to other planets,|through an alien device known as a Stargate.
{8775}{8865}Their leader is the fearless Colonel Jack....
{8866}{8915}O'Neill, prepare yourself for...
{8980}{9020}Extreme deceleration.
{9044}{9088}Yeah, thanks Teal'c.
{9223}{9460}You will get to see your home one last time,|before you and everyone on your planet are destroyed,
{9486}{9618}and your kind will disturb the Goa'uld, no more.
{9755}{9806}So who are the Goa'uld again?
{9809}{9842}The bad guys.
{9845}{9896}And this Skaara character?
{9899}{9976}Yeah, I thought you said his name was Klorel.
{9979}{10090}I know it's a little complicated.|Just wait, I haven't gotten to the good part yet.
{10094}{10121}Skaara!
{10500}{10587}Skaara. I'm sorry.
{10592}{10628}That's it?
{10636}{10695}I think so. For now anyway's.
{10698}{10744}What happened to Earth?
{10752}{10837}I don't know.|I mean, I haven't figured that part out yet.
{10841}{10926}Well you gotta finish it Daddy.|You can't just end a story in the middle.
{10929}{11054}I tell you what. You get all your chores done|and I'll finish the story tomorrow.
{11056}{11132}Chores? What are we Amish?
{11136}{11174}Andy!
{11198}{11256}Go do your homework.
{11355}{11415}He's gotten so precocious.
{11441}{11488}You hated it, didn't you?
{11491}{11593}Well, you know I'm not the biggest|science fiction fan, but no, no.
{11630}{11733}It was just so detailed. How did you come up with it?
{11750}{11863}Honestly, I don't know.|It just sort of popped into my head.
{11867}{11914}That's amazing, really.
{11967}{12023}What didn't you like about it?
{12029}{12071}Don't get me wrong, it was exciting.
{12074}{12172}It's just that personally,|I like stories that are about interpersonal relations
{12173}{12241}and a little less to do with things blowing up.
{12359}{12452}A giant fireball in the night sky!
{12536}{12582}You say these folks are a military unit?
{12586}{12635}Yeah, a part of the US Air Force.
{12638}{12697}But they travel to other planets.
{12702}{12739}Through the Stargate.
{12743}{12791}Which is a time travel machine.
{12796}{12933}It's an alien device that creates a stable wormhole,|allowing instantaneous travel to other worlds.
{12936}{12969}Time has nothing to do with it.
{12970}{13054}Boss, a question. These Gould.
{13057}{13092}GO-A-ULD.
{13095}{13121}GO-A-OWL.
{13125}{13160}GO-A-ULD.
{13161}{13256}Never mind. The bad guy's.|You said they have snakes in their heads?
{13258}{13284}Symbiotes, yes.
{13285}{13337}And what about the one's with|the snakes in their bellies?
{13340}{13374}They're different, they're called Jaffa.
{13376}{13441}They incubate the symbiotes|until they're ready for implantation.
{13444}{13511}Now you see Joe, that's confusing.
{13513}{13590}He's right boss.|I mean, why can't there be just one kind of bad guy,
{13591}{13665}you know, snake goes in the head,|makes them evil, the end.
{13666}{13694}Called, the snake people.
{13695}{13726}Yeah, snake people's good.
{13727}{13802}They're not called the snake people,|they're called the Goa'uld.
{13805}{13880}And the Jaffa aren't bad guys,|they're enslaved warriors
{13881}{13939}who mistakenly believe that|the Goa'uld are their Gods.
{13940}{13994}And it's not confusing, it's complex!
{14100}{14169}Edge of my seat, the whole time.
{14270}{14320}United States Air Force. How may I direct your call?
{14350}{14537}Hi. I'm trying to reach one of your officers.|A Colonel Jack O'Neill, two LL's.
{14539}{14607}May I have your name and the nature of your call?
{14610}{14636}My name?
{14638}{14662}Yes please.
{14700}{14814}Right, right, of course. My name is Joe Smith.
{14817}{14899}Now listen, I realise Colonel O'Neill|is probably unavailable,
{14902}{14999}off on some important mission somewhere, but...|I know this is an odd request.
{15002}{15151}I mean, I don't know if you know Colonel O'Neill|personally, but could you describe him to me?
{15154}{15277}You know, height, weight, shoe size,|sense of humour, that sort of thing.
{15280}{15328}I really can't do that sir.
{15339}{15420}Of course, sure. National security.
{15423}{15610}Now am I understanding correctly, that there really|is a Colonel Jack O'Neill in the Air Force?
{15611}{15677}Is there a message that|you would like to leave for him sir?
{15678}{15751}That's fine, thankyou!
{15953}{16114}So in the end, Ry'ac was freed from Apophis' control.
{16117}{16218}Teal'c, Drey'auc and Ry'ac, were once again a family.
{16219}{16335}But Teal'c is still going back to Stargate Command,|to fight for the freedom of the Jaffa.
{16336}{16445}Yes of course. He's going to take Drey'auc and|Ry'ac to a place where they'll be safe.
{16446}{16529}So the Goa'uld won't put|any more bombs in Ry'acs teeth?
{16530}{16622}That's right. Now go to sleep.
{16659}{16700}Cool story Dad.
{17091}{17186}Joe, where do you get these ideas you've had lately?
{17187}{17217}I don't know
{17218}{17292}Fully formed ideas, plots, characters, just like that?
{17293}{17346}They just appear in your head?
{17346}{17393}Basically.
{17492}{17550}Why are you looking at me like that?
{17554}{17645}I think you've gotten in touch|with your dormant creativity.
{17646}{17720}Accessed your well spring of imagination.
{17721}{17742}What?
{17743}{17873}I read about this happening to other people.|You're opening yourself up to your inner muse.
{17874}{17924}My inner muse?
{17925}{17961}It's your midlife crisis.
{17961}{17990}It is?
{17991}{18110}Except, instead of chasing your youth by buying|a sports car or going hang-gliding,
{18111}{18215}your seeking immortality through creativity.
{18216}{18248}We can't afford a sports car.
{18249}{18284}Honey, it's a good thing.
{18285}{18436}Especially if it means you're not going|to have an affair with a younger woman.
{18489}{18515}Wait a second, wait a second.
{18516}{18600}You said that Teal'c put his face up to|that head grabber thing, before O'Neill.
{18601}{18639}Why didn't he get grabbed first?
{18640}{18735}Guys, I told you. Save your questions until I finish.
{18736}{18827}Now, what was left of Colonel O'Neill's mind,
{18828}{18906}managed to dial a gate address.
{18907}{19012}One they had never dialled before.
{19319}{19402}The Asgard? Those little grey guys, right.
{19403}{19486}Shut up and let him finish, Burt.
{19561}{19604}And...
{19628}{19712}I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I really,
{19718}{19830}really appreciate you getting|all of that stuff out of my head,
{19879}{19981}but you folks should understand
{20007}{20070}that we're out there now.
{20112}{20192}We might not be ready for a lot of this stuff,
{20193}{20250}but we're doing the best that we can.
{20761}{20880}You have already taken the first steps|towards becoming the fifth race.
{21000}{21051}Well what about the Furlings?|Are we ever gonna hear about them?
{21052}{21150}Oh, of course.|I'm sure we'll hear lot's of stories about them.
{21216}{21300}I mean, I'll make one up.
{21318}{21451}Furlings. They sound cute. Like Ewoks.
{21688}{21757}Andy finish up or you're going to miss your bus sweety.
{21758}{21813}- Good morning.|- Good morning.
{21814}{21921}And I want that lawn done today Mister.|It looks like a wheat field's growing in our backyard.
{21925}{21963}After school, I promise.
{21964}{22028}Son, you get that lawn finished,
{22029}{22080}and I'll tell you all about the Reetou.
{22081}{22121}Cool!
{22153}{22248}See you mom! See you Dad!
{22311}{22346}The Reetou?
{22347}{22402}Foothold situation at the SGC.
{22415}{22454}Joe, don't take this the wrong way,
{22454}{22538}but maybe you should cut back|on the storytelling a bit.
{22539}{22558}Why?
{22559}{22593}Nothing, it's just...
{22594}{22659}Well, I've heard a few comments from people in town.
{22660}{22692}People? What people?
{22693}{22823}Not everyone wants to hear about Jack O'Neill|and SG-1 every time they come in for a haircut.
{22824}{22876}They like hearing my stories.
{22877}{22930}Maybe they're just being polite, dear.
{22931}{22981}And it's not just at the shop.
{22982}{23140}Sam at the drug store said you talk his ear off|every time you're there, and Marjorie at the bank,|and Lennie at the gas station.
{23141}{23247}Sharlene, you were the one who told me to follow|my muse, now you want me to stop?
{23248}{23326}What if you write them down?
{23327}{23389}You mean like a writer?
{23392}{23424}Put them on paper.
{23425}{23486}You can have them there in the shop like the magazines.
{23487}{23570}That way, if people wanna read them, they can.
{23995}{24069}Sir, the timing has to be exact.|Just a few more seconds.
{24070}{24145}It's gonna have to be close enough. Go!
{24401}{24522}Young Lt Hammond
{24523}{24595}faced a tough decision.
{24599}{24774}Yet the strange force|had hardly seemed like Soviet spies.
{24775}{24844}Honey, it's three in the morning. Come to bed.
{24845}{24894}Just let me finish this story.
{24894}{24999}That's what you said last night and the night|before that. You've gotta get up in four hours.
{25000}{25080}How are you going to cut people's hair|if you're dead on your feet?
{25125}{25161}Joe?
{25161}{25219}In a minute.
{25569}{25676}They embraced and he looked|into her eyes one last time.
{25679}{25739}He walked away with sadness in his heart,
{25740}{25826}and she watched him go,|wondering if she would ever see him again.
{25827}{25861}The end.
{25861}{25915}That poor woman.
{25922}{26023}Do you think she was with child?
{26024}{26104}You'll just have to wait until the sequel.
{26105}{26140}You've gotta be kidding me.
{26141}{26186}What? I've got something in my eye.
{26187}{26277}Oh, you're such a softee.
{26294}{26335}See you tonight honey.
{26336}{26358}Bye.
{26359}{26390}Bye Sandy.
{26484}{26504}Morning boys.
{26505}{26521}Hey Calvin.
{26522}{26620}Joe, looks like you got some letters|from those magazines in New York.
{26917}{26985}Thankyou for your submission.
{26986}{27046}Unfortunately, blah, blah, blah.
{27048}{27102}Thankyou for your interest.|Best of luck in the future.
{27104}{27172}You see, I'm not sure you should|have sent in this one about Seth.
{27172}{27194}It wasn't one of your best.
{27194}{27280}They rejected Hathor? But it was gold.
{27383}{27448}
{27495}{27515}Dad!
{27516}{27536}I'm writing.
{27537}{27565}Seriously Dad.
{27565}{27600}You've gotta see this.
{27682}{27714}What?
{27714}{27750}Check it out.
{27916}{28037}Four excellent heroes,|in an extraordinary new scifi series.
{28038}{28127}Starring Dick Marlowe as Colonel Danning.
{28128}{28244}As a matter of fact,|it does say Colonel on my uniform.
{28245}{28314}There's no such thing as original thought, anymore.
{28318}{28414}We're all just regurgitating|the same old ideas, over and over again.
{28415}{28484}Welding them down into|the giant melting pot of mediocrity.
{28485}{28590}Introducing Douglas Anders as Krell the robot.
{28677}{28761}Wormhole X-Treme, coming this fall.
{28762}{28843}They stole my idea.
{28893}{28980}Hey, whatever happened to|that lawsuit you had against uh,
{28981}{29004}what was that show called?
{29004}{29035}Wormhole X-Treme?
{29054}{29106}It was cancelled after only one episode.
{29107}{29141}Bad ratings.
{29141}{29165}I liked it.
{29170}{29243}Not as much as your stories boss.
{29257}{29301}Actually, I have a new one.
{29302}{29345}This came to me last night.
{29358}{29456}SG-1 find out there's|a giant asteroid headed towards Earth.
{29457}{29513}I saw the movie. It's Paris.
{29514}{29557}No, this is different.
{29558}{29603}It starts when this amateur astronomer...
{29604}{29668}Actually Joe, if it's alright with you,
{29669}{29713} I'm not really in the mood.
{29715}{29792}Oh come on now, don't you wanna know how SG-1 stops it?
{29795}{29832}Here, I'll just tell you.
{29832}{29942}Major Carter is able to expand the hyperspace|window from the cargo ship, until it surrounds....
{29942}{30075}Look, no offence, but how many times can these|folks save the world from Apophis.
{30076}{30132}What's it up to now? Five, six times?
{30132}{30186}This story's about Anubis. Apophis is dead.
{30186}{30235}What's the diff, you know what I'm saying?
{30236}{30279}It's getting a little repetitive.
{30280}{30400}I mean, come on now. There must be other|things we can talk about besides SG-1.
{30503}{30540}You guys play golf?
{30776}{30820}Joe, I need to talk to you.
{30821}{30861}Just a second honey. I'm in the zone.
{30862}{30884}Honey, stop typing.
{30885}{30900}Writing.
{30905}{30919}Please.
{30948}{30969}What's up?
{30986}{31011}I want you to stop.
{31027}{31052}I just did.
{31080}{31140}I mean permanently.
{31141}{31163}What?
{31164}{31207}I've been going over our bills.
{31208}{31240}Sharlene.
{31241}{31353}Joe, you closed the shop early three|times this week, to come home and write.
{31354}{31431}I closed the shop because business has been slow.
{31432}{31472}And you don't see the connection?
{31472}{31577}Don't worry, once I get a few stories|published, land an agent, things will get better.
{31742}{31870}326. That's how many rejection|letters you've received.
{31875}{31924}We only need one yes.
{31932}{32017}They're not reading them anymore.|Just sending them back unopened.
{32030}{32062}Burt and Gordy liked them.
{32063}{32121}They work for you. What else are they gonna say?
{32121}{32168}You haven't even read them all.
{32169}{32267}I read Holiday, The Light, The Sentinel.
{32268}{32399}Ok I admit, those may have been a few small missteps,|but on the whole they're getting better aren't they?
{32410}{32439}I don't know.
{32439}{32516}Well what do you think the problem is?|Tell me. Maybe I can fix it.
{32529}{32666}Well, for one, it seems to me that the team|interaction isn't what it used to be in the beginning.
{32685}{32714}You hate them all?
{32714}{32797}No, I don't. I hate what this is doing to you.
{32833}{32882}You really want me to stop?
{32883}{33031}Joe, how can this really be more important|than your livelihood? Than your family?
{33054}{33152}Honestly Sharlene. I don't think I can stop.
{33166}{33197}Why not?
{33220}{33300}These stories, I think...
{33339}{33372}You think what?
{33399}{33449}I think they're real Sharlene.
{33534}{33719} I'm not making them up, they're happening somewhere.|I can see them and it's because of the stone.
{33728}{33846}I can't explain it. Somehow, I think it|allows me to see these incredible things.
{33846}{33907}That you believe are really happening.
{33908}{33945}Yes! Here, try it.
{33970}{33996}Where is it?
{34025}{34050}Joe.
{34065}{34095}Did you take it?
{34115}{34180}Sharlene? What did you do with it?
{34190}{34265}Sharlene! What have you done with my stone?
{34343}{34374}It was for your own good!
{34427}{34531}Whoa! Has he totally lost it or what?
{34577}{34642}Joe please! You need help.
{34697}{34824}Son? If you know where it is, just tell me.|I'm not mad, I just need my stone.
{34824}{34854}Mom?
{34855}{34986}You leave him out of this!|Joe please, you're scaring us!
{35476}{35515}Where are you going?
{35535}{35553}I don't know.
{35962}{36005}No!!!
{36050}{36100}He can't be gone.
{36173}{36221}He's dead.
{36328}{36383}Daniel's dead!
{36881}{36938}Gordy, you're wearing out the floor.
{36980}{37000}Calvin.
{37005}{37020}Gentlemen.
{37090}{37114}Slow day?
{37143}{37190}What have you got Calvin?
{37202}{37293}Looks like a stack of bills and a couple|more letters from those magazines.
{37326}{37352}Toss them.
{37357}{37462}There is also another letter here,|from the Air Force.
{37511}{37530}You read it.
{37761}{37850}Dear Mr Spencer. Regarding your|request to meet with Colonel Jack O'Neill,
{37877}{37956}we regret to inform you that...
{38013}{38194}Hey Joe, if you're so sure that this is all real, then|why don't we follow it up with more than just letters?
{38195}{38300}Call them up.|Tell them what you know. If it really is true.
{38309}{38355}Are you kidding? I'd disappear in a hearbeat.
{38356}{38391}You think?
{38391}{38470}Believe me, if the Government|didn't get me, NID is sure to.
{38474}{38560}I've seen it happen.|Do you remember Armen Sellick?
{38600}{38615}Dead!
{38665}{38685}Great.
{38790}{38977}Well, look, I've gotta get back|to my route now. You guys take care.
{38981}{39007}Thanks Calvin.
{39683}{39720}Hi Jack.
{39843}{39863}Daniel.
{39885}{39957}I leave and look at the mess you get yourself into.
{40043}{40060}Yes!
{40123}{40133}Yes!
{40217}{40243}Sharlene!
{40310}{40457}Sharlene, Sharlene, you won't|believe it! Sharlene? Oh, there you are.
{40458}{40534}Honey, it's incredible. Daniel's still alive.
{40535}{40605}I mean, I know he ascended to a|higher plane of existence, but he...
{40626}{40655}What are you doing?
{40656}{40721}Andy and I are going to my mother's for a while.
{40722}{40853}If you have even the slightest interest in saving|our marriage, you'll see someone who can help you.
{40854}{40924}Sharlene, I don't need a shrink. Sharlene!
{40925}{41046}Honey, don't do this please! Come on!
{41046}{41136}Honey, come on, we can work things out!
{41136}{41224}Sharlene look, our problems are small compared...
{41268}{41339}Let's talk. Can we just talk this out?
{41345}{41390}Goodbye Joe, I'll call you later.
{41428}{41463}Sharlene!
{41487}{41542}Wait! Sharlene!
{41752}{41858}Dear Colonel O'Neill. I understand|you are a very busy man, however,
{41859}{41972} I must wonder if you are getting each|and every piece of correspondence I send you.
{41972}{42075}I have written you many letters and left|countless messages for you with the Air Force,
{42076}{42150}but I have yet to receive|any kind of response from you.
{42201}{42270}Because of this, I realise|I have no choice but to take
{42270}{42381}my life into my own hands and come|clean with you. I know everything...
{42449}{42541}Geez Gordy, you scared...the hell out of me!
{42542}{42616}It's ok Gordy, I'm just glad it's you.
{42616}{42720}Boss, if it's alright with you, me and Burt,|we're gonna head home.
{42721}{42774}It looks like nobody's coming in again today.
{42775}{42796}Yeah.
{42796}{42894}Look, I know this is kind of a bad time, but...
{43018}{43040}What is it Gordy?
{43047}{43218}Well it's been really slow around here, and I kind of|dropped off an application at the Piggly Wiggly.
{43278}{43336}I understand. You gotta do what you've gotta do.
{43362}{43415}Thanks boss. Goodnight.
{43451}{43465}Goodnight.
{44282}{44313}Activating hyperdrive
{44398}{44441}Standing straight up.
{44623}{44673}Come on boys! Have at em!!
{45680}{45748}
{45819}{45895}Thanks for seeing me. You look great.
{45932}{45957}How are you?
{45957}{46015}Oh, I'm good, very good.
{46117}{46289}Sharlene, I'm sorry about everything that's happened.|I drove you and Andy away, I understand that now.
{46304}{46440}Just let me finish. I was too wrapped up in|the stories to realise what was important.
{46440}{46594}I promise I will focus on rebuilding my business and|providing for my family, if you'll give me another chance.
{46595}{46718}It was never about the money, Joe.|It was your obsession with that stone.
{46720}{46785}I know, I know, and I owe you both an explanation.
{46788}{46855}That's why I brought you proof that my visions are real.
{46865}{46935}This is what Jack O'Neill actually looks like.
{46938}{47056}Now I know what you're thinking, but I swear I saw|this image in my mind, long before it was in the paper.
{47057}{47173}And here, this report about massive|solar flare activity from six years ago?
{47178}{47284}It coincides with the time|SG-1 destroyed Apophis' fleet.
{47284}{47366}And this, about the sinking of a Russian submarine?
{47368}{47480}It happened the same time Anubis'|ship crashed into the Pacific ocean.
{47486}{47614}It just means that you're using real people and|events and incorporating them into your fantasies.
{47615}{47695}They're not fantasies!|Jack O'Neill is head of Stargate Command!
{47696}{47742}There is no Stargate Command!
{47815}{47918}Listen to me, I've been talking to|several doctors about your symptoms,
{47919}{48037}and they seem to think that you might be|suffering from something called manic psychosis,
{48042}{48101}combined with grandiose delusions,
{48104}{48227}but with therapy and medication|you could probably live a normal life.
{48259}{48293}Oh my God!
{48312}{48352}They're fighting in Antarctica.
{48366}{48420}For Earth's very survival!
{48580}{48635}Anubis' fleet is in orbit above us right now!
{48636}{48707}- Joe stop it. It's not real!|- You don't understand!
{48715}{48828}If Jack can't find a way to use the|Ancient technology in time, we're all dead!
{48844}{48877}Goodbye Joe.
{48905}{48946}It's happening Sharlene!
{48965}{49032}You'll see! It's real!
{49746}{49811}
{50069}{50172}Ok look, this obviously isn't your forté.
{50185}{50271}So why don't you just put the gun down,|before you get hurt.
{50271}{50306}Don't come any closer!
{50329}{50378}I know your gun isn't real.
{50400}{50459}However, mine is.
{50462}{50526}Oh God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry,|you're right. It's just a toy.
{50535}{50563}Please don't shoot me.
{50568}{50602}I'm not gonna shoot ya.
{50611}{50697}I'm sorry. I just thought it was|the only way to make you listen to me.
{50710}{50799}Oh, where you're going, people will listen.
{50803}{50875}They've got nothing to do,|but listen to what you have to say.
{50881}{50948}They got nice white coats,|padded walls, the whole nine yards.
{50952}{50982}Please wait!
{50983}{51043}You're Brigadier General Jack O'Neill.
{51054}{51129} Head of Stargate Command at Cheyenne Mountain.
{51146}{51276} You used to command SG-1,|which is now led by Lt Colonel Samantha Carter.
{51281}{51409}You once visited a planet called Argos, and the|nanites in your blood caused you to age artificially.
{51416}{51558}You had the entire repository of the Ancients|knowledge downloaded into your brain, twice!
{51567}{51593}You have a thing for :
{51605}{51751}The Simpsons, fishing, Mary Steenburgen, the colour|peridot, and you're a terrible ping-pong player.
{51765}{51793}Have we met?
{51805}{51845}My name is Joe Spencer. I'm a barber.
{51881}{52042}It's all true isn't it? Everything I've seen.|The Stargate, the Goa'uld, the Asgards?
{52053}{52085}It's all real.
{52103}{52158}Tell me it's real. I need to know.
{52218}{52270}Well first of all Joe,
{52293}{52352}I'm not a terrible ping-pong player.
{52595}{52654}Between you and me, I totally see the analogy.
{52661}{52724}Burns as Goa'uld.
{52732}{52758}Thank you!
{52761}{52854}And don't worry.|I won't say a word about your feelings for...
{52929}{52964}This is such an honour.
{52974}{53059}I don't know how to thank you|for all you've done for our planet.
{53081}{53109}There are not enough words!
{53117}{53159}It's nice to meet you too.
{53160}{53191}Joe Spencer.
{53205}{53286}I was particularly impressed|with the time you blew up that sun.
{53295}{53357}Well thank you. I had a bit of help, but..
{53358}{53422}And as far as this whole Pete Shanahan thing goes...
{53439}{53532}Doctor Jackson, can I just say,|thank goodness you're back.
{53535}{53658}Not that Jonas was a bad guy, but after all you've|been through together, you belong here with SG-1.
{53664}{53692}Thank you. Jack?
{53714}{53748}He's a barber.
{53780}{53834}- Broke into your house?|- Yeah.
{53840}{53870}Second week in a row.
{53909}{53938}Alarm.
{53942}{53982}I'm thinking dog.
{53996}{54045}You could try locking your front door.
{54446}{54480}Sh'al kek nem'ron!
{54540}{54600}Joe, the barber.
{54615}{54653}Please be seated.
{54696}{54734}What have you got there Carter?
{54735}{54833}Well, initial tests show that Joe|possesses the same Ancient gene as you do.
{54838}{54862}I just want you to know,
{54865}{54925} if you ever want me to use|the chair device in Antarctica,
{54930}{54989}in defence of the planet, I'm there.
{54993}{55022}Thank you!
{55115}{55202}Other than that, his physiology is completely normal.
{55206}{55264}Do not a great many people possess this Ancient gene?
{55273}{55339}Yeah I mean, how come I'm|the only one seeing these things?
{55340}{55399}Yes, good question, pray tell.
{55401}{55480}Unfortunately, our knowledge of|Ancient physiology is fairly limited.
{55486}{55620}The only other thing we know, is that Joe|has somehow managed to gain access|to huge amounts of classified information.
{55630}{55665}Mainly in regard to SG-1.
{55672}{55746}And that these visions are somehow|connected to the stone he found.
{55763}{55798}Anything on that?
{55810}{55880}Daniel's looking into it.|He did say there was something familiar about it.
{55890}{55962}You claim to receive these visions,|only in proximity to the stone.
{55972}{56069}Perhaps there is a connection between|the stone and your genetic predispositions.
{56074}{56192}I know the hair makes you look different,|but didn't you used to be more gold coloured?
{56229}{56265}I think I've got it!
{56288}{56360}It took me a while to track it down, but...
{56381}{56416}You have one too?
{56419}{56441}They're a set.
{56443}{56485}Jack, you remember P3R-233? That planet where...
{56493}{56613}Where you found the quantum mirror that sent you to|an alternate reality, where the Goa'uld invaded Earth.
{56773}{56822}- Hey fella|- Hey Jack
{56832}{56875}This is all the stuff we brought back from...
{56877}{56949}P3R-233? Yeah. Are you gonna help me catalogue it?
{56954}{57000}You bet, my favourite.
{57010}{57064}But it's all gonna have to wait.
{57072}{57149}Hammond called a briefing. We got some intel back,
{57183}{57254}indicating that Apophis|might not be so dead as we thought.
{57349}{57458}Something about Chulak.
{57479}{57540}I think the stones are kind of|Ancient long range communication device,
{57541}{57614}allowing people to see events over great|distances through some sort of psychic connection.
{57617}{57700}Now Jack must have activated the link|between the stones by picking up the second stone.
{57708}{57815}Now after that, all that would be required,|is a certain proximity to the stone,|for the connection to be activated.
{57819}{57881}Now seeing as the stone|was being stored in the base archives..
{57894}{57992}But that doesn't explain how the other|stone got to the... Where? Where was it?
{57995}{58027}A garage sale.
{58048}{58174}The person who sold it to me said that|his grandfather found it on a dig in Egypt.
{58177}{58231}Well that still doesn't explain the proximity issue.
{58236}{58301}I mean, if the stone|General O'Neill touched was kept here,
{58307}{58384}How was Joe able to see everything|that happened to the General, offworld?
{58389}{58467}I think he was getting most of it from when|Jack was writing his reports right here on the base.
{58480}{58537}The stone was being stored just a few levels above.
{58540}{58590}That's why the stories were so easy to write.
{58597}{58668}It was like someone else|had done most of the work for me.
{58684}{58773}And you say they all got rejected?
{58837}{58918}Wait a second.|If the stone worked the way Daniel says...
{58920}{58994}Shouldn't General O'Neill have been|able to see elements of Joe's life, as well?
{59015}{59052}Theoretically, yes he would.
{59434}{59490}Bowling league, thursday nights?
{59513}{59592}- You saw that?|- You got game, son.
{59600}{59704}Wait a minute, Jack. You've been|seeing parts of the life of a barber in Indiana
{59705}{59760}for seven years, and you never mentioned it?
{59777}{59851}Yeah, sure I did. I know I did.
{59958}{60005}No, no, you didn't sir.
{60022}{60056}I didn't ?
{60142}{60193}You didn't find it the least bit odd?
{60200}{60316}Actually no. I found it quite relaxing.
{60534}{60559}Sharlene?
{60560}{60640}I only have about ten minutes|and I really need to get right back to work.
{60653}{60745}There's no easy way to say this. I want a divorce.
{60746}{60800}I know, I mean, you have every right to,
{60809}{60895}but before we get to that,|there's someone who'd like to meet you.
{60937}{60977}Here he comes now.
{61058}{61187}Sharlene, meet General Jack O'Neill,|from the United States Air Force.
{61238}{61281}It's a pleasure to meet you ma'am.
{61342}{61405}I think we have some things to talk about.