1
00:00:03,447 --> 00:00:08,805
Brenda did our hair, and l'm talking
about this hair, not that other kind.

2
00:00:11,927 --> 00:00:13,519
We have a security breach.

3
00:00:39,767 --> 00:00:40,961
l should be irked.

4
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:59,803
We'll answer, once and for all,
whether O'Neill wears boxers or briefs

5
00:00:59,887 --> 00:01:02,560
or... commando.

6
00:01:02,647 --> 00:01:04,160
Sh!

7
00:01:04,247 --> 00:01:06,442
This is the security breach?

8
00:01:06,527 --> 00:01:08,722
This young man
claims he's Colonel O'Neill.

9
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:09,956
Daniel!

10
00:01:10,607 --> 00:01:13,201
Sounds like him -
at least the loud, grating parts.

11
00:01:13,287 --> 00:01:17,724
The episode ''Fragile Balance'' is a story
in which we suddenly find ourselves

12
00:01:17,807 --> 00:01:20,275
with a young version of O'Neill.

13
00:01:20,367 --> 00:01:23,279
lmpersonating a military officer
is a federal offence.

14
00:01:23,367 --> 00:01:27,155
l am not impersonating anyone.

15
00:01:29,247 --> 00:01:31,442
l am Jack O'Neill.

16
00:01:32,287 --> 00:01:37,600
The experience and maturity of our Jack
O'Neill character is stuck in a boy's body.

17
00:01:37,687 --> 00:01:41,521
This is Michael Welch, playing young
O'Neill. He's doing a wonderful job.

18
00:01:41,607 --> 00:01:42,676
Thank you.

19
00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:47,522
The real challenge was having
this young actor trying to mimic -

20
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,484
not mock, but mimic -

21
00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:54,277
some of the idiosyncrasies that Richard
Dean Anderson has brought to the show,

22
00:01:54,367 --> 00:01:58,679
and some of his gestures
and some of the things that he likes to do.

23
00:01:58,767 --> 00:02:00,962
Where he goes like this.

24
00:02:01,047 --> 00:02:03,515
And he checks the sun.

25
00:02:03,607 --> 00:02:07,520
Every scene. ''l'm putting sunglasses on.''

26
00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:15,918
Ultimately, we found out that he is in fact
a not fully matured clone of himself.

27
00:02:16,007 --> 00:02:19,682
We're hoping the fact that the clone
didn't mature is a mistake.

28
00:02:19,767 --> 00:02:22,679
- Which means?
- ln all likelihood, the Asgard responsible

29
00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:26,555
took the original people
and replaced them with duplicates.

30
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,036
They study the originals,
then switch them back.

31
00:02:29,127 --> 00:02:32,517
You think whoever took the real
Colonel O'Neill is going to return him?

32
00:02:32,607 --> 00:02:35,440
This is an alien scanning medical device.

33
00:02:35,527 --> 00:02:39,918
Can't tell you what it does, actually,
but there's probing involved.

34
00:02:40,007 --> 00:02:42,601
These green balls
are moving around you.

35
00:02:42,687 --> 00:02:47,283
But you're not smiling because
you're not happy. You're the opposite.

36
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:51,565
(Peter) And we find out
that not all Asgard are noble,

37
00:02:51,647 --> 00:02:54,480
and that one in particular,
whose name is Loki,

38
00:02:54,567 --> 00:02:57,843
he's been abducting people
on our planet for a long time.

39
00:02:58,847 --> 00:03:02,840
You'll be here, and you'll turn it on,
which'll cause this one to go on as well,

40
00:03:02,927 --> 00:03:05,725
and he'll go ''l'm having a flashback.''

41
00:03:05,807 --> 00:03:08,367
(Peter) That's why
they've abducted O'Neill.

42
00:03:08,447 --> 00:03:13,202
His ability to retain the information
from the Ancients' repository

43
00:03:13,287 --> 00:03:15,847
led the Asgard to understand

44
00:03:15,927 --> 00:03:19,476
that there was something very special
about O'Neill's physiology.

45
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:22,559
That's why they've abducted him
and done these experiments.

46
00:03:22,647 --> 00:03:26,845
Either l'm remembering
a particularly bad dream,

47
00:03:28,127 --> 00:03:31,119
or the Asgard paid me
a little visit last night.

48
00:03:31,207 --> 00:03:34,563
(Peter) And when they test him,
they find out, in fact,

49
00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:38,435
that he's just
a super-confident heterosexual

50
00:03:38,527 --> 00:03:40,995
and that's why he does so good
with the ladies,

51
00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:44,602
and it has nothing to do
with retaining information at all.

52
00:03:44,687 --> 00:03:47,838
Little do they know
how close they are to the truth.

53
00:03:48,807 --> 00:03:50,718
Hi. How you doin'?

54
00:03:50,807 --> 00:03:54,243
(Peter) We trick Loki.
We pull a little sting operation on him

55
00:03:54,327 --> 00:03:57,478
and we're able to catch him in the act.

56
00:03:57,567 --> 00:03:59,558
So we stun him.

57
00:04:00,767 --> 00:04:03,964
Hello. Do not be afraid.

58
00:04:06,407 --> 00:04:08,398
(imitates zat gun)

59
00:04:22,807 --> 00:04:25,196
Put your hands down.

60
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:32,842
(groans)

61
00:04:32,927 --> 00:04:35,043
lt's a lot of fun to work with the puppet.

62
00:04:35,127 --> 00:04:40,679
There's eight guys back there
working wires and hinges.

63
00:04:40,767 --> 00:04:45,443
The head goes like this and like this
and turns and blinks.

64
00:04:45,527 --> 00:04:50,043
And they actually rehearse, otherwise the
puppet goes like this. l don't know why.

65
00:04:50,127 --> 00:04:52,277
ls it true that Colonel O'Neill may be...

66
00:04:52,367 --> 00:04:55,086
..the key to solving
your cloning problems?

67
00:04:55,167 --> 00:04:56,885
No.

68
00:04:56,967 --> 00:05:00,562
- But l thought l was advanced.
- lndeed you are, O'Neill.

69
00:05:00,647 --> 00:05:03,400
But our scientists
have already determined

70
00:05:03,487 --> 00:05:07,196
that while you are an important step
forward in the evolutionary chain,

71
00:05:07,287 --> 00:05:10,563
the missing link we have been
searching for still eludes us.

72
00:05:10,647 --> 00:05:14,162
They're naked,
they don't do touching very much,

73
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:19,605
they've very veiny,
and they're in bad need of a tan.

74
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:23,396
And, in fact, when they turn around
and walk away from you,

75
00:05:23,487 --> 00:05:26,684
you can tell that they have
no exit of any kind.

76
00:05:26,767 --> 00:05:28,997
He is in this ship.

77
00:05:29,087 --> 00:05:33,558
Either this is the bridge or this is
the bridge, and the other one is the toilet,

78
00:05:33,647 --> 00:05:38,118
where they remove the food particles
from the Asgard body,

79
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:41,040
which we've already established
does not have an exit.

80
00:05:41,127 --> 00:05:46,155
And, of course, they have to treat the
sewage before they let it out into space.

81
00:05:46,247 --> 00:05:50,167
lt's not cool to just go out
and flush your Asgard poop.

82
00:05:50,167 --> 00:05:50,997
lt's not cool to just go out
and flush your Asgard poop.

83
00:05:51,087 --> 00:05:54,045
- But l haven't been gassy.
- Not that l've noticed.

84
00:05:54,127 --> 00:05:58,439
That's good to know. And you would
know, because you're situated low.

85
00:05:58,527 --> 00:06:00,199
l'm well aware.

86
00:06:00,287 --> 00:06:03,836
So the air biscuits
and the heinie hiccups are flying always.

87
00:06:03,927 --> 00:06:07,715
- Why don't you tell us who you are?
- Loki.

88
00:06:07,807 --> 00:06:10,685
l ended up revoicing all the Loki stuff.

89
00:06:10,767 --> 00:06:15,363
So that's actually my voice, and
they turn a knob on some machine

90
00:06:15,447 --> 00:06:19,076
(as Loki) and l end up sounding like this.

91
00:06:19,167 --> 00:06:22,125
There was no need
for the clones to survive.

92
00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:25,677
Suddenly it's like you've taken
a giant Valium.

93
00:06:25,767 --> 00:06:28,759
That's the knob.
lt's called the Valium knob.

94
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:34,160
Your voice starts like this: lt was not
necessary for the clones to survive.

95
00:06:34,247 --> 00:06:37,717
(slower) lt was not necessary
for the clones to survive.

96
00:06:37,807 --> 00:06:40,480
Look at Amanda.

97
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,558
She flosses every day.

98
00:06:43,527 --> 00:06:46,087
And not just her teeth.

99
00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:47,282
What's your point?

100
00:06:47,367 --> 00:06:52,077
l'd like to see more episodes
with the young O'Neill clone.

101
00:06:52,167 --> 00:06:54,635
l'm a cop.
Licence and registration, please.

102
00:06:54,727 --> 00:07:00,484
- lf you need anything, just...
- Air force has set me up. l'll be fine.

103
00:07:00,567 --> 00:07:04,685
You sure about this?
l mean, it's high school.

104
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,883
Look at the ass on that little kid. OK.

105
00:07:16,527 --> 00:07:19,917
Yes. Go forth, young man.

106
00:07:22,687 --> 00:07:26,362
Blink, blink. Blink, blink. Blink, blink.

107
00:07:26,447 --> 00:07:27,800
Blink.

108
00:07:27,887 --> 00:07:30,606
l chose to sell myself to Hollywood.

109
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:33,557
Uh-oh.

110
00:07:33,647 --> 00:07:37,162
l've had corrective s...
Only two nose jobs. Only two.

111
00:07:37,247 --> 00:07:43,197
Peter sent me flowers once,
after he said a naughty word.

112
00:07:43,287 --> 00:07:46,597
They're not dirty pillows.
They're breasts, Mama.

113
00:07:46,687 --> 00:07:48,598
- He's a little what?
- Psychotic.

114
00:07:48,687 --> 00:07:52,316
Die, die, die. Kill, kill, kill.
Vomit, vomit, vomit.

115
00:08:18,287 --> 00:08:20,278
l can't stand DeLuise.

116
00:08:24,687 --> 00:08:26,678
ENHOH