Oh, right this way. l can see General Hammond now.
Excuse me, sir, but we seem to have a visitor.
Thank you, Dr Fraiser. l understand you're here...
..to investigate rumours regarding some of the people under my command.
- Rumours, sir? lnvestigate...? - Yes, Doctor.
lt seems that someone in Washington doesn't think we run a very tight ship.
- Yes, sir. - Don't worry.
lt's just another fire drill so the brass in DC can feel better about themselves.
Doctor, if you wouldn't mind patching them into the system.
Yes, sir.
OK, look. l realise you're on official business here,...
..but, for the record, the personnel at this command are topnotch.
And, by the way, Fraiser is spelled with an s, not a z.
We did an episode in season one, called ''Solitudes''.
And really the goal was to save a little money,...
..because l had a reputation on The Outer Limits...
..of being able to make ''two people in a room'' interesting.
And so l thought ''OK. But room, room. Where am l gonna put...
..Carter and O'Neill, for example?''
So l put them in a glacier, a crevasse of a glacier.
Something goes wrong with the Stargate and they are spat out in a glacier.
What's the bad news?
Unless they redecorated the gate room, l don't think we're in Kansas any more.
Daniel must have misdialled.
And then John Smith says ''Let's refrigerate the stage.''
''Can we do that?'' and he said ''Sure. We'll bring in big industrial things.''
So we were able to bring in real snow and ice,...
..and when they chip it away, that's what it is.
And when Richard Dean Anderson as O'Neill is on his back freezing to death,...
..he's actually freezing his ass off - he really was in subzero temperatures.
l love that. Sometimes on a television show, you go ''That was cool.''
That was one of those times.
l'll be damned if l'm gonna die on some godforsaken block of ice...
..a million light years from home. ls that clear?
- Yes, sir. - Good. Now help me up.
- l don't think you should move. - Probably not.
But my butt's freezin' to the ground. Come on.
And l had to do this thing where l climbed up this wall of ice...
..to try to get out of this crevasse that we're in.
And l kept falling, and they kept the cameras rolling,...
..which l thought was really cruel.
And l just... l had to climb up and pull myself...
..and l kept sliding down this ice wall, and l will never forget that.
l'll never forget being that cold and that bruised and that scared...
..and that exhilarated by it all.
Michael Shanks, uh,...
..had his appendix blow...
..one day before starting shooting on ''Nemesis''.
You're so used to it, on a television show, that you have to be there as an actor.
lt's like, if you're sick, it doesn't matter because you're in front of the camera.
So l did one of the quickest panic rewrites l'd ever done.
So l was in the hospital, you know, white-faced and in complete denial.
They don't know you have appendicitis until they cut you open and look.
So it could be anything. So l'm negotiating with the doctor,...
..ten minutes before l'm going into surgery,...
..that ''Maybe it's not. Maybe l just have indigestion from Thanksgiving dinner.''
''Maybe l need to go home. l'll call you tomorrow.''
And the doctor is trying to convince me in the nicest possible way that...
..''lf you go home, you'll probably be dead by tomorrow morning.''
And Brad says ''lt's OK, l have an idea, l have an idea.''
And he goes into this elaborate... He's come up with this wonderful...
..wonderfully elaborate story line for how we'll get Michael out of the show.
Watching the scramble l couldn't be part of,...
..which was the ''How do we write him out of the episode fast and keep him in it?''
l just sat there. Maybe it was the end of the season and we were tired.
And l said ''Why don't we just say his appendix blew?''
- Can l see your scar? - No.
Fraiser says it'll be about a week before you get outta here.
One of the things that always bugs me is...
..why don't... why don't the daily aspects of life ever bleed into...
These guys go through the Stargate every day,...
..they fight incredible fights and have all these things happen,...
..but the sort of the... real life never affects them.
Wanna go fishin'?
Actually, l wouldn't...
Well, maybe...
You know, l think maybe l will just stay here for two or three days.
And Richard and l mostly improvised those little exchanges, which was fun.
- Did you get your hair cut? - Yeah. Why?
No reason.
We did it for the entire two-parter.
ln ''Small Victories'', he's also unable to do what he has to and is still recovering.
You are fine. There's no signs of residual infection.
- You were very lucky. - So you keep saying.
One of my favourite episodes is ''Serpent's Lair'',...
..which is the second episode l did, when they're rescued off the mother ship.
And that's my favourite episode because l got locked in a glider with Rick.
Human, put this on.
Will you please stop calling me ''Human''?
And l found that really interesting because...
..l'm just a hair claustrophobic, l'm not really claustrophobic.
But when you're in a glider about 1 2 feet up,...
..and they put this plastic glass sort of cage over you...
..and they come with the ratchet gun... And you think ''l don't know.'' You know?
Bra'tac? Bra'tac!
You OK?
Not bad,...
..for an old man.
They say 20 minutes and it's over an hour later and you're still up there.
And meanwhile they're throwing pebbles at you and there are wind machines.
So you have to entertain yourself. So that was a good chance to get to know Rick.
And we really had a lot of fun that day.
Take a look up.
lt's beautiful.
We had to do this trick shot. l had to do a trick shot.
They'd hired a double, who's a trick-shot champion, and her coach to come.
So this woman was gonna double me, and l said ''Let me try it, let me try it.''
And so l kept practising and practising.
And l thought ''l've got it. l think l can do this shot myself.''
And Martin Wood said to me, just before we were about to rehearse, he said...
..''lf you sink this shot, l'll give you $100.''
And l said ''OK. l have nothing to lose.''
Did it, sunk the balls. He went ''lf you can do that on the take, l'll double or nothing.''
So l went ''OK.'' Did it on the take.
Then he asked if l wanted to double or nothing again, and l cut my losses.
l said ''No. l've got 200 bucks, US.''
And... l think l sunk it a third time. So l should have gone double or nothing.
But he was out of pocket and they told him ''You can't bet Amanda any more.''
- How the hell did you do that? - Wanna go double or nothin'?
- No, l think l'll cut my losses. - Smart move.
l've been in... l've put myself into almost every show that l've done.
Every one except for, l think, two that happened off world.
So l've been in almost every show that l've directed.
And always in the background, almost always somewhere with Sergeant Siler.
And normally we have this giant wrench, that we're doing something...
Literally, it's that big.
..that we're wandering around doing something...
Ah, excuse me. Sorry.
She's all yours, General.
- Well done, Sergeant. You heard the man. - Yes, sir.
l've been on the show for five seasons...
..and it's taken about five seasons to give me a name,...
..cos in the script l'm just ''Technician''.
So l get the scripts and whip through them.
''Oh, yeah. Teal'c, Sam Carter, O'Neill... Oh, Technician. Great! OK, good.''
lncoming traveller. lncoming traveller.
Sometimes it's just ''Chevron one, chevron two...''
Chevron two encoded.
''Chevron three, chevron four.''
Chevron four encoded.
All the way up to ''Chevron seven locked. ''
Chevron seven locked.
They never refer to me by name. lt's just Sergeant or Technician.
Sir, we're go for a systems restart.
Proceed, Sergeant.
ln one episode they said they'd call me Walter.
And that was Richard Dean Anderson calling me Walter.
Walter?
Then l find out... They go ''No, that's not your name,...
..cos Walter Davis didn't clear, so we can't use that'',...
..but even though they filmed it.
And then they go ''Your name's Harriman Davis.''
Where did they pull that from? So it's Harriman Davis. l go ''OK, fine.''
And then they gave me my flight suit and it says ''Norman Davis'' on it.
So l've got like three names, none of which anybody ever uses.
lt's always just Technician, Technician, Technician.
And... action!
- You've been working very hard. - No harder than usual.
That's my point. Your pre-mission blood test did show slight anaemia.
Teryl and l... yeah, we're idiots, we're both goofs.
We're both very spazzy and we both have these really wacky senses of humour.
So, as soon as we met and realised Teryl was gonna be a regular on the show,...
..the thing that was important was that our characters were friends, not rivals.
- Oh, hey, Sam? - Yeah?
Cassie is staying at a friend's tonight. So what do you say? Girls' night out?
These two women are very strong, very smart, very together women.
And yet, off camera, we're a bunch of idiots.
We have alter ego characters where she's Minnie and l'm Turleen,...
..and we go to the Marvell Beauty School and we do this all the time.
lt's Turleen and Minnie.
l think Turleen's specialty is frostin' tips and mine is permanents.
And we've just got this whole wacky character thing we do.
- l fail permanents all the time. - l got it wrong.
l said your speciality was frostin' tips.
Oh, that's very true. l fail permanents all the time.
But l fail frostin' tips. She's excellent at them.
We go to the Marvell Beauty School.
We had heard that Kurt Russell was coming to Vancouver...
..to do 3000 Miles to Graceland...
..and that he was actually gonna be shooting on this lot.
So we sent an invitation out to him to visit us and he accepted it...
..and he came by and it was great.
lt was really fun for all of us, including the crew, to see him,...
..because he started it all with the feature.
Kurt wasn't here that long, but long enough to take a little tour,...
..and he was very impressed by the sets.
And then he did a picture-taking session with Rick on the ramp of the Stargate.
lt was weird because he was dressed as Elvis.
The before and after of Jack O'Neill.
l can only see a wolf, Tonané. A beautiful animal, granted, but not a spirit.
''Spirits'' was great because we had this wolf, who wasn't a wolf.
lt was a dog that looked like a wolf.
But... the weird thing is that there's not a lot of dogs that look like wolves...
..that you can get to do anything.
So, we had these trainers come in.
They were saying ''Don't expect this wolf to do very much.''
''And, by the way, we have to tie its tail.''
So they took monofil to tie its tail down,...
..because wolves don't have tails that stand up like a dog's.
So this poor wolf, or this poor dog, is running around with its tail tied down,...
..and it didn't do anything.
We sat for an hour one day, trying to get this thing to... react,...
..to do something other than go...
Finally, the director of photography, Jim Menard, goes ''Let me try.''
And d'you remember Paul Hogan in Crocodile Dundee...
..did this little thing with his hand when he goes... (buzzes)
Well, there's a shot in ''Spirits'' where you see the wolf go...
lt's Jim Menard behind the camera going... (buzzes)
And this wolf is reactin' to it. Followed him around for the rest of the day.
A little flattery couldn't hurt, Sam.
My, what big eyes you have.
lt worked.
Yes!
Ooh! God, l'm sorry. l didn't hurt you, did l?
- l am fine. - So we were doing this one shot...
..where the camera is behind us and Thor and l are standing side by side,...
..looking at this big, green screen of special effects,...
..and whoever was controlling the puppet put Thor's arm up so it touched my bum.
lt sort of... it was quite funny.
And l turned, without even thinking, and just smacked him.
And there was this big, resounding waaah off the puppet.
And then l apologised to the puppet. l went ''Oh, my God, l'm sorry.''
Sorr... oh. Oh, you're a puppet.
Sorry.
l love things like that. And that happens all the time on our show.
Just little goofy things that the audience will never see,...
..but that make coming to work every day really fun.
l think it's about time for you to go.
- l'll be anxious to see your final report. - l wouldn't worry, General.
l think Teal'c is looking forward to a trip to Washington.
l'm sure he won't mind making a house call if anything incriminating turns up.
Why, Doctor, l think you're right.
Do have a safe trip back.